"Welcome back," I say, and even to myself I sound bitter.
Artemis is ever observant, and he raises an eyebrow archly.
"I am sorry that I didn't contact you earlier, but I had three
years to catch up on." And yet you didn't even try to catch up
on me.
I smile, but I can feel my face strain.
He can see threw the fixed grin, but mercifully says nothing. "I
still managed to live my life," I say. It's a shrewd attempt to
maintain some dignity.
"Come in," he
says. "We have a lot to discuss, and I would like your opinions
on a few theories." Despite myself my heart flutters. Artemis
still respects me as an equal and he still needs my intellectual
input.
This time my smile is for real, and he
leads me into the living room. Almost before we are seated, he
launches into the story. I already knew what happened. Butler told me
that. It's an entire adventure that I wasn't even part of. He didn't
call me to analyze his mother's disease; I didn't even know that he
stole magic.
Even though I knew what
happened, it was different from his point of view. Despite his cold
exterior, small snips of emotion break free.
"I
thought that I had killed her..." His voice breaks. Artemis
closes his eyes for a second, no longer, and continues, calm again.
There are other things that I notice too. I am
well trained in psychology, and what I see breaks my heart.
I heard the way that he danced around her name. I noticed the
fidgets, the irrepressible grooming, the slight pauses, as if just
thinking about her makes him self-conscious. As if he just wants to
savour her name.
I choke, I want to run from
the room so that he can't see what I'm sure is written all over my
face. He is too caught up in everything though. Artemis talks as
though he is reading a report, but every little
flicker of the
eyes, every change in voice tone, shows me how much this means to
him.
I realize that this isn't about me.
Artemis just wants to relive what went on eight long years ago. When
he came back he didn't even think of calling me. He didn't consider
it. Artemis just wants to tell his story, he just wants to vent.
However, he's here. That's what I wanted, isn't it?
Be careful what you wish for.
I'll take what I
can get. I'll enjoy his company, because there is no one else who's I
can enjoy quite like his. But Artemis has moved on.
I had three years to get over whatever fleeting little thing we had.
I had three long years to try and forget his acid wit, his burning
intelligence, and his beautiful eyes.
Artemis
had a month. When I heard that he was back, every feeling ran as
strong as ever. But he wasn't hazed at all. He is worked up over two
women, Holly and his mother. I am gone from that list.
And his eyes aren't even the same anymore.
He
will not stand and applaud me with a whooping bravissimo anymore.
He will not stare with that look of pure admiration.
He will not be distracted from the task at hand by my golden curls.
He will not even visit me for me.
Artemis'
story ends with a climax and a paradox. I am part of neither. It ends
with love and uncertainty. And I can only envy both.
Butler drives me home, Artemis is too busy to accompany me.
The bodyguard places his hand lightly on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he says. I look at him, shocked. But it is his
job to know people and to predict their moves. He knows me well and
he knows how I feel.
I shake my head and sigh.
"So am I."
Butler and I had grown close over those years. He is a better father to me than my father ever could be, and I regret that he too belongs to Artemis. That boy gets everything important, and I hope that he knows it.
oO0Oo
AN: I don't
own Artemis Fowl. Obviously.
I just wrote this because I'm
pretty sure that every teenage girl feels something along those lines
sometime. And I just did.
Review? I Love constructive criticism.
