Hearts Are Breakable
A/N: I do not own the Mortal Instruments or any of these characters. The story is interspersed with Malec quotes from the book - anything in bold and italics is straight from the book, so was not written by me (don't worry I haven't used any from the epilogue of CoLS). This is set after CoLS, so contains spoilers, although the book came out almost a year ago so you should have read it by now. Also this is going to get very angsty.
As Alec walked along the empty street he was filled with nostalgia. He missed Magnus's clothes, Magnus's hair, and even Magnus's smell.
"Still I pictured having you for fifty, sixty more years. I thought I might be ready then to let you go. But it's you, and I realize now that I won't be anymore ready to lose you then than I am right now. Which is not at all."
Alec hadn't been coping well since the breakup. Years of hiding his true self meant that he had no difficulty disguising his emotions from those around him. Only Jace, his parabatai, and Izzy, his sister, could see through his charade. Izzy knew better than to pressure him about Magnus, the same way he didn't push her about her feelings for Simon. That was how it worked – they knew each other, understood each other and were unbendingly loyal to each other. He knew Izzy would support him no matter what, whether or not he spoke to her about Magnus was irrelevant.
"Izzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. Liked me, liked me."
"Liked you, liked you?" Magnus buried his grin in the cat's fur. "Sorry. Are we twelve now? I don't recall saying anything to Isabelle . . ."
Jace, on the other hand, had no boundaries. He mercilessly tormented Alec with reasons Alec should go back to Magnus, apologise, re-gain Magnus's trust. Didn't Jace know that was what Alec wanted more than anything else? To have Magnus back in his life would be – but no. Alec was nephilim – too proud, too stubborn to beg for forgiveness, for second chances. He had had one chance and he had blown it. Besides he could hardly 're-gain' something he had never had in the first place. Alec laughed bitterly.
"You never called me back," he said. "I called you so many times and you never called me back."
Magnus looked at Alec as if he'd lost his mind. "Your city is under attack," he said. "The wards have been broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven't called you?"
Alec set his jaw in a stubborn line. "I want to know why you haven't called me back."
He had spent every night since the break-up out here, wandering the streets, alone, reminiscing about his relationship with Magnus. Malec, as Izzy had called them. Alec sighed. He needed to pull himself together, get a grip. Self-pity never got anybody anywhere. What is it they say about love – it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. So there, he was really the lucky one, lucky to have been able to spend even the shortest amount of time with Magnus.
Magnus strode toward him. "I didn't call you because I'm tired of you only wanting me around when you need something. I'm tired of watching you be in love with someone else - someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do."
"You love me?"
"You stupid Nephilim," Magnus said patiently. "Why else am I here? Why else would I have spent the past few weeks patching up all your moronic friends every time they got hurt? And getting you out of every ridiculous situation you found yourself in? Not to mention helping you win a battle against Valentine. And all completely free of charge!"
Magnus had always made Alec feel so special. For years people's eyes had passed over Alec and onto his brother. Not that Alec ever begrudged Jace; on the contrary he was among those gazing wondrously at his beauty. But Magnus made Alec feel beautiful; when Magnus looked at him it was like Alec was the only person in the world who mattered.
"Alec!" Magnus came skidding into the living room and blew a kiss to his boyfriend across the room. Having discarded his slippers, he was barefoot now. His cat's eyes shone as he looked at Alec."
Alec had loved Magnus too – he had come out of the closet for him, he had opened himself to a world of judgement and petty hatred for Magnus, only to realise that Magnus would live on after he died, would stay young while Alec grew old, would be with others after he died. Alec clenched his fists in jealousy. Alec knew it was petty but he just could not stand the idea of Magnus being with anyone else – past, present or future. He realised that he no longer had any right to be jealous of anyone Magnus was with, should Magnus find some one else Alec could have no objection. Alec blinked hard and fast. Previously he was worried about who Magnus had been with before they met and would be with after he died, but the thought of Magnus dating some one in the present day was too painful to bear.
"Good organization," said Magnus. "I knew the man who founded it, back in the 1800s. Woolsey Scott. Respectable old werewolf family."
Alec made an ugly sound in the back of his throat. "Did you sleep with him, too?"
Alec hated feeling like this, so vulnerable, so helpless. There was nothing he could do to stop his feelings for Magnus, no way he could ever be okay with what had happened between them. 'You could talk to him about it. He said he still loved you – maybe he'd forgive you,' the voice at the back of his head urged him. Alec pushed the voice down, ignoring it.
"This time Magnus answered it, his voice booming through the tiny entryway. "WHO DARES DISTURB MY REST?"
Jace looked almost nervous. "Jace Wayland. Remember? I'm from the Clave."
"Oh, yes." Magnus seemed to have perked up. "Are you the one with the blue eyes?"
"He means Alec," Clary said helpfully.
"No. My eyes are usually described as golden," Jace told the intercom. "And luminous."
"Oh, you're that one." Magnus sounded disappointed."
Alec tried to focus on the positive aspects of his relationship with Magnus. Their first date, their first kiss, the first time Magnus had declared his love for Alec. The trace of a smile appeared on his face as he remembered his favourite moment.
Alec had his arms around Magnus and was kissing him, full on the mouth. Magnus, who appeared to be in a state of shock, stood frozen. Several groups of people- Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike- were staring and whispering.
Alec remembered how it felt kissing Magnus. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was the most memorable. He didn't care that everyone was watching, at that moment in time he didn't care what anyone thought. He was kissing Magnus and it felt right. So long as he had Magnus he could take on Valentine's army, the wrath of the Clave, even his father. Alec sighed, maybe he should go talk to him, try to explain what- Alec had walked straight into someone, interrupting his train of thought. As he looked up to mutter a meaningless apology the stranger spoke.
"Jace told me I would find you here." Alec looked properly at the stranger, into the green eyes he knew all too well.
A single word played across Alec's lips. "Magnus."
A/N: This is my second ever story and my first TMI one so I would really appreciate some feedback about what I did well and what I should improve on. Please and thank you ~Tardisthree.