The Family

"John…wake up" Evangeline moaned turning over and pushing his shoulder.

John groggily opened his eyes to hear Kayla crying through the baby monitor. "What?" he asked confused

"The baby's crying it's your turn to see about her" Evangeline said pushing at his leg with her foot. She had to be in court in two to three hours. It was her first day back at work and she wanted to catch her last minutes of sleep.

They found a daytime sitter to stay with Kayla, but John shocked Evangeline when he asked that the sitter start fulltime next week. He took some of his vacation time saying he would take care of her. It was his feeling that the sitter could gradually get introduced into her routine by coming over for a few hours that week.

Evangeline thought it was a great idea and felt a pang of guilt that she didn't think of it. Motherhood was something new for her.

John shook his head letting go of the hold his sleep had over him. Sitting up he stretched listening to the sounds of Kayla's cries. His princess had some lungs on her and her wails made his chest tighten with anxiety. He just wanted to comfort her.

Turning he leaned over and kissed his wife on the cheek pinching her butt. "Don't you move…" he said in her ear.

She smiled "I'm going back to sleep, now go!" she said laughing

He climbed out of bed wearing nothing but his boxer's shorts, sliding his feet into his slippers. The room was dark and he stumbled through to the door still a little groggy, out into the even darker hallway. The sun wasn't set to rise for another hour.

Turning he headed to his daughters room which was right next door. She was a little over three months old and much better with sleeping through the night. Pushing the door open he looked over at the crib and saw her little hands waving in the air. Smiling he walked over to the crib and peered down at her. "What's got my angel so grumpy this morning?"

Kayla looked at him her eyes wide and expectant, mirroring the same beauty of her mother's. She had a perfectly rounded bald head that was accentuated with dark curly fuzz on top.

Kayla was mixture of both her parents, her skin a medium shade of mocha brown. Her large oval shaped almond colored eyes peered up at her daddy glistening with tears and she let go another scream, flapping her arms up and down, kicking off her blanket.

John reached inside the Winnie the Pooh decorated crib and picked her up. He guessed she was wet, at least that's what Evangeline's initial diagnosis seemed to be. First order of business would be to change her.

Kayla sat up in his arms looking at him with a pout, poking out her bottom lip still angry it took so long for her mommy or daddy to respond to her cries. Her cheeks wet with her tears with were puffed out like a blow fish from her pout. She rubbed her eyes with her balled fists crankily.

"Wow, you really are grumpy this morning." he said chuckling.

Going to her changing station he reached for the little Winnie the Pooh light switch above it turning it on. It started to spin playing soft chimes, which caught the baby's attention immediately. The lamp shade decorated in Pooh characters cast soft yellow and purple color around the room as it rotated.

Kayla eyes brightened and suddenly she began to grin. Bouncing in her dad's arms John watched her face light up. "That's your song hunh?" he said amused by his daughters delight. The lamp was a gift from his mom and he was glad it brought his baby so much joy, smiling at her he laid her down gently on the changing table. Reaching underneath the shelf he got the baby wipe container and pamper.

"Okay, daddy remembers how to do this." he said looking at the changing stuff in both hands. Kayla clasped her hands together into a little fist and tried to stuff them in her mouth. Kicking her legs up she watched her dad wondering what was taking him so long.

John put the stuff on the shelf above her reaching for the tiny buttons between her legs to unfasten the onesy she wore. Immediately a strong order lifted up to his nose and he frowned

"Oh no….not a poopie diaper!" he said shaking his head.

Kayla giggled and kicked her legs, confirming she had a special treat for her daddy. John shook his head laughing softly. He barely could deal with the standard changing but a poopie diaper was too much.

Turning he went to the baby monitor, picking it up to call for reinforcements, looking at Kayla kicking and watching the glow from the spinning lamp shade above her. "Van, wake up! Van!"

He didn't hear anything at first and he walked back over to Kayla who popped her two middle fingers on her right hand in her mouth and began to suck. "Daddy can't do it sweetie, let's get momma to help us." Speaking back into the monitor he called for her again loudly "VAN! Wake up"

He heard Evangeline moan and stir. "What is it John…"

"I got a problem in here, you're going to have to come and help me."

"On my way" she said sleepily.

Kayla stopped her kicking and fixed her dad with an 'ut oh' look. John smiled "She's going to be mad hunh?" he said rubbing his daughter's fat little leg. Kayla flashed him a toothless grin with her fingers still in her mouth, confirming it.

Evangeline came through the door in one of his favorite night gowns closing her robe tightly. She flicked on the light to see him standing over the baby. "What's wrong?"
He looked back over at her sheepishly "Ummm…Kayla needs you" he said stepping away.

Evangeline walked over and looked down at Kayla who got excited at the sight of her momma kicking her legs even faster. "Hey pumpkin, what's wrong with momma's baby?" she said rubbing her belly. Soon she smelled how ripe she was and began to understand the crisis. John was steadily stepping back.

Evangeline looked over her shoulder at him "Hold it right there!"
"Babe, I…"
"Don't babe me…come here."

John walked over and Evangeline reached grabbing his hand to pull him closer. "You woke me for a soiled diaper?" she asked letting go of his hand and pointing at her daughters bum.

"I thought you might want to assist on this one?" he said trying to shrug it off.

"John! Are you going to be okay with Kayla this week? We can still get the sitter to come over and just work with you."

He frowned at her "Of course I am, she's my daughter. We don't need that sitter hovering around us. Do we Kayla..." he said winking at his baby girl.

She looked him up and down suspiciously. "mmmm hmmmm"

John sucked his teeth. "Fine…I'll show you." he said pushing Kayla light green onesy up to her little round tummy, then pealing back the flap on either side of her pamper. Soon he saw her little brownish green pellets in her pamper and frowned.

Evangeline stifled her giggles, seeing how uncomfortable he was. "Now grab her ankles and lift them up"

He did so reluctantly and she passed him some wipes. "Front to back John" she said instructing him."

John obeyed and wiped his daughter with three different wipes and then dropped them in the soil diaper. Evangeline reached and grabbed the baby's diaper from under her daughter rolling it and then folding over the flaps tightly making it into a small lethal ball. John took over and powdered his daughter, accepting the pamper from his wife's hand and sliding it under Kayla's tiny bum.

Evangeline disposed of the pamper in the diaper genie and smiled "Now see how easy that was?"

He picked up Kayla kissing her "Your mommy is a show off."

"And daddy is a big baby" she said tossing her hair and walking out.

John rolled his eyes. Rubbing his daughter back he put his forehead against hers inhaling her powdery fresh baby scent..

"You hungry?" Kayla yawned then smacked her tiny gums before popping her fingers back in her mouth. John smiled "I'll take that as a yes"

John came back in the room with his daughter sleeping on his shoulder sucking her fingers. He fed her and she immediately curled up in his arms snuggling his chest before drifting back to sleep. She was such a sweet mild tempered baby and he was grateful for that. Looking for Evangeline he saw her brushing her shiny hair in the mirror.

She wore a charcoal gray suit and the skirt clung flattering to her curves. He looked down at her toned legs that were defined by the heels she wore. He marveled at how quickly her body bounced back after having their daughter.

She was as captivating to him now as she was the first day he saw her breeze through the station. He could remember her confident strut causing several officers to give pause. She ignored their stares and flashed him that prefect smile of hers. He felt like the luckiest man in the world at that moment. He still did.

He watched her while going over to the large lounge chair in the room and sitting down. Pulling Kayla down from his shoulder he cradled her in his arms "You have to go now?" he asked in a sad voice.

Evangeline stopped brushing her hair and turned to look at him. "You will be okay baby. I promise to be home before five."

"We need some time alone just as a family and more than a weekend." He said as the feeling of anxiety of her returning to work overtook him.

She stared at him. "John it's my first day back, Kayla is over three months now and we agreed remember?"

"Well I'm beginning to rethink it, she's too little and she needs you here." he said rubbing his babies arm as she sucked her fingers.

"Don't do this." she said refusing to let him guilt her, it was killing her to leave her baby now. He agreed she could return to work after three months.

"Van…"

"John!" she said in a loud whisper turning around putting her hands on her hips. "Please don't make this hard on me. I don't want to leave her."

He bit down on his lip to avoid saying something smart, he wasn't being fair, yet he couldn't help himself. He got used to the idea of her being home and greeting him everyday with their baby. It wasn't until now that he realized how attached to her recent role in their family he became.

She would sometimes show up at the station with Kayla to take him to lunch, or have a hot meal prepared and waiting on him when he arrived home.

His princess would be freshly bathed and grinning for him to spend their quality time before Evangeline put her down for the night. Most recently she would seduce him after dinner and love him up before Kayla woke up separating them. Feeling guilty at how he treated her he looked away. "I'm sorry…." He mumbled.

Evangeline walked over and knelt beside the chair. "How about we plan a trip to Atlantic City next month to see your mom?"

John said nothing avoiding her eyes, clueing her in to the fact he wasn't really ready to let go of his pout just yet. She leaned over and kissed his jaw then kissed her daughters forehead. "I'll be home as early as possible. I'll call to check on you and you know how to reach me if you need anything."

He turned and looked at her nodding, she blew out a frustrated breath and rose to her feet refusing to argue it any further. Grabbing her keys and purse she headed for the door. John watched her walk out her long hair flowing around her shoulders and swallowed his disappointment.

Rising from the chair he went over to their bed, laying Kayla down. Placing pillows on either side of her he prevented her from rolling off. He gazed at his daughter who was proof of their love and his heart warmed over. Kayla pulled her fingers from her mouth still puckering her lips as if she was sucking them. She was the most beautiful baby in the world to him.

Turning he could hear the front door close downstairs. He walked over to the window separating the blinds to see Evangeline with her coffee in one hand baby bag equipped with breast pump on her shoulder and briefcase in the other hand.

She opened the car door tossing her briefcase and bag inside, then climbed in without looking up, his bitterness grew seeing her go knowing he was being a little unreasonable. His reaction was worse than his daughters.

For him the idea of family had changed. While she was pregnant they discussed their careers and he was fine with her choices. But now they had Kayla and his focus and priorities shifted. He felt her's should have as well. The problem was how could he tell her this without sounding like a chauvinist pig?

Bo looked up hearing his door open to see John come inside straddled down with a green car seat in his hand and a matching baby bag on his shoulder. He smiled at the sight of his hardened LT, looking like Mr. Mom. "Hey aren't you supposed to be on vacation?"

"John put the baby carrier on Bo's desk and dropped the baby bag from his shoulder. "I needed to get some file folders on some cases I'm working on. I figured I could work on them from home."

Bo looked in the carrier and Kayla looked up, her wide brown eyes fixing on his face curiously. "Hey Kayla…" he said touching her hand. She immediately closed her little hand on his finger and tried to bring it to her mouth. Bo laughed pulling his finger out of his grip gently. "Wow, you got daddy duty during your vacation, that sounds like fun!"

John put his hands on his hips. "Yep, that's me super daddy!"

Bo sat down and looked at him "You okay with that?"

"Why you ask?" John asked casually, trying not to clue him on his growing anxiety of Van's return to work.

"Just curious you seem a little tense…."

John sighed deeply running his hand through his hair pushing his long bang from his face. "Tell me if I'm wrong…"

"Okay…"

"Van's back at work, did you know that?"

"Yeah she and Nora went to lunch today, I saw her earlier"

John rolled his eyes. "She's enjoying it I see. She hadn't even called me to check on the baby but she came over to take Nora to lunch."

Bo frowned "What?"

"Let me ask you something Bo" John said taking Kayla's car seat off the desk lowering it next to the chair in front of his desk, before sitting down. He placed her at his feet and smiled to see her reaching for the rainbow colored flower that hung from top of her car seat.

"Sure ask away…."

"When Mathew was a baby, did Nora stay home in the beginning months to take care of him?"

Bo sat up "John you know Mathew's conception was complicated, when he was born Nora was with Sam."

John sighed "Here's the thing I don't want to be an asshole but Kayla is only three months, it's too soon for Van to be working. Our daughter needs her."

Bo looked at him leaning back in his chair twisting the pencil between his fingers. "Is it Kayla that needs her home or you John?"

John frowned "What does that mean?"

"I've noticed you these past months, coming in with home made lunches from her, anxious to get home to them. Talking about the routine you two shared with the baby. I think you got used to Evangeline the homemaker and are not quite ready for Evangeline the legal eagle that you married."

John looked down at his angel that was now asleep with her two fingers back in her mouth. He'd dressed her in a lavender sundress with a short sleeve white onesy underneath. She had a lavender ribbon around her tiny head with a little bow at the center and her little diamond studs sparkled in the dull lit office. Her beauty radiated like her mothers. He smiled at her "I love my family Bo."

Bo nodded "Here's my advice, talk to Evangeline and tell her your concerns. I'm sure she misses being with Kayla too. You two should be able to work something out."

John nodded "Maybe you're right. Evangeline can't be happy with this arrangement either. I gotta get going, especially since Kayla is asleep. It'll be a more peaceful ride home."

Bo nodded watching him rise to get the baby bag and carrier.

"I have my cell so call me if you guys need anything" John said looking back.

"We'll be fine, looks like you have the challenging case right there. I don't think I could ever do a baby patrol…." Bo said chuckling.

John half smiled "Tell me about it. Diaper duty alone has me tossing back cold ones."

They both laughed and Bo rose to get the door for him. He watched him walk out and shook his head. What a difference a year made.

Evangeline opened the door relieved to finally be home. Stepping inside the spicy smell of tomato sauce and baked garlic bread greeted her. She closed the door smiling, he cooked dinner for them. She had the sweetest husband in the world.

Today was a very hectic day. Though she kept in contact with her office during her absence, she had to play catch up with the majority of her clients.

Looking down at her watch she saw it was after 6:30. She really did try to make it home sooner, but traffic and all delayed her. Sighing she walked through the foyer to the sunken living room knowing her husband wouldn't be too please. Especially after the morning pout she witnessed.

Coming into the living room she tossed her briefcase and the baby bag to the sofa seeing her baby in the Winnie the Pooh swing with her pacifier in her mouth. She was glad it wasn't her fingers that she constantly sucked.

Kayla turned her head slightly slouched down in the swing and looked at her mommy. Evangeline heart ached that her baby showed no real reaction to her presence. John walked out to see her going over to the swing and turning the dial to stop it. He watched her undo the tray and reach for their daughter.

"Welcome home baby"

Evangeline kissed Kayla then turned around. "Hey you…"

"Dinner is almost ready" John said going back in the kitchen.

Evangeline watched him disappear back into the kitchen and followed. Kayla lay her head against her mom's breast as she held her and Evangeline melted. She rubbed her daughter's back and kissed the top of her forehead as she stepped on their tiled floor, her heels clicking softly announcing her approach. John glanced back at her holding Kayla and smiled, turning to drop the noodles in a silver pot of steaming boiling water.

"How was she today?"

"She was okay, we actually got out and went to the office and then the grocery store."

"The office?" Evangeline asked shocked.

John glanced over his shoulder "Just to pick up some files and then straight to the store to pickup some things for dinner. No one ever told me how babies were chick magnets. They came from everywhere to coo at her and bat their eyes at me."

Evangeline cut her eyes "Oh brother!"

John laughed and stirred the sauce he was making. She looked down and noticed that Kayla hand fallen asleep in her arms. She couldn't help but be a little disappointed. She wanted to spend some time with her. "Did she already have her bath?"

John didn't turn around. "Yeah she did"

"You're such a good daddy" she said smiling

He said nothing in response and she left the kitchen heading up stairs to lay her down. Putting her gently in her crib she placed the monitor next to her and then grabbed the other one heading back to John.

She came back into the kitchen to see him setting the table. Evangeline walked over stepping in front of him, blocking his way. "How about a better greeting than the one I got earlier" she said her face to his she stared into his eyes and batted her long lashes seductively.

He slid his arm around her tiny waist, pulling her closer to him. Kissing her softly on the lips his tongue was granted entrance and he slowly rolled it around hers stealing her breath. Lifting her arms she wrapped them around his neck holding the baby monitor as her eyes fluttered shut from the eroticism of his touch.

John slid his hand down and around the curve of her butt and massaged it lovingly. The kiss lasted for eternity and when she broke away she was panting with desire.

"That's a better home coming…" she said looking into his baby blues trying to catch her breath.

"We missed you" he said softly flicking his tongue at her lips wanting to continue the kiss.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here…" she said pulling his tongue back into her mouth with hers and giving him another passionate kiss.

Releasing her he moaned squeezing her butt and pushing her into his stiffening manhood. "It's okay" he said hoarsely "You can make it up to me after dinner"

She laughed and let him go. John patted her butt and told her to get changed for dinner. She agreed wanting out of her clothes. Turning to go to the living room she retrieved her baby bag with the refrigerated breast milk she pumped at work. Bringing it back in the kitchen she put it on the counter asking that he put it up.

John looked at the bag and then watched her leave. He thought about it all day and he was determined to discuss it. He wanted her to cut back and stay with Kayla until at least a year old. She was breast feeding that in itself should be motivation enough.

Evangeline came down the stairs her long hair twisted in a clip behind her head. She wore a cutoff white t-shirt and thin cotton grey shorts. She wanted to enjoy their evening, especially after the little tift they had this morning.

Coming into the living room she stopped smiling at the candlelit dinner he prepared with the lights dimmed in the dinning room. A long stem red rose lay across her plate for her. She looked over at him surprised as he uncorked the champagne. "What's this?" she said happily.

"Can't a guy just do something special for his wife." He said pouring her a glass that fizzed with bubbles.

Evangeline smiled and went over to her chair. She picked up the rose and smelled it, then placed it down next to her plate. John put the bottle down and pulled the chair out for her. She accepted the seat graciously and he leaned over kissing her forehead. "Be right back"

She reached for the flute of champagne and smiled. She wasn't supposed to drink because of her breast feeding, but the doctor said she could have a glass infrequently. Sipping the bubbly liquid she immediately noticed it was sparkling apple cider and laughed. She should have known he wouldn't give in and let her have a glass.

Chuckling she watched him come out with a pot, he scooped up a hefty portion of the mixed spaghetti on her plate. He did the same for his and took the pot back in the kitchen. Reaching for some of the garlic bread in the center of the table she smiled at how wonderful he was being. She was wrong to think he was still upset over her return to work.

He came back to the table and sat across from her "John this is so sweet"

"I think we needed to celebrate your first day back to work."

She looked at him happily "You do?"

He winked "I do"

They ate and she told him about her caseload and the fact that she may need to put in some serious hours for the next few weeks to get everything managed. She assured him after that she could pull back some.

"How much is some?" he asked casually.

She laughed "40 hour weeks instead of 60" she said stuffing more pasta in her mouth. He looked up at her and she saw he wasn't smiling. "Something wrong?"

"You didn't ask about Kayla and what she did today"

Evangeline frowned "That's not true, that was the first thing I asked you when I came home."

"Oh…." He said going back to tossing his food around his plate.

Evangeline almost finished anyway lowered her fork. "Okay John let's have it."

He looked up at her confused "Have what?"

"Whatever it is that has soured the mood so quickly. Is it because I got home after six?"
"No…."
"Then what baby?"
"I just I don't know. I just kind of got used to the family we made when Kayla was born. It seems like you can't wait to get away from it."

Wounded by his words she flinched "Why would you say that?"
"You didn't call to check on us…."
"I was in court and I was swamped"
He nodded "Okay" he said looking away and drinking his beer.

Evangeline sucked in her breath. Pushing away from the table she walked over and took his hand. John grabbed the baby monitor and allowed her to lead him out of the kitchen. She walked him up the stairs to their bedroom, first stopping at Kayla's door. She pulled him inside and they looked at her sucking her pacifier laying flat on her back. Evangeline smiled and then led him out.

John went with her silently knowing she was going to make him feel more accepting of her absence in her own special way. He remained silent still processing the events of the day and what he would ask of her later on. He didn't want to be some chauvinist husband trying to control her life, but he felt strongly about this and he couldn't let it go.

Going to the bed he put the monitor on the nightstand and climbed on top. Propping his arms behind his head he watched her as she straddled him. She put her hand behind her head and freed her hair from the clip tossing it to the night table as well. Rubbing her hands flatly against his chest she inched up his shirt. "You know I love you don't you?"

"Yeah I do" he said softly

She reached and unbuckled his belt. "You know I love Kayla"

He nodded his response as she pulled the belt through it loops. Undoing the top button to his pants she slid down his zipper "I promise you, my working is not going to be a problem, we'll figure it out. I know how to take care of my family." she said lowering her face to his and kissing his lips.

John kissed her back closing his eyes. He felt her lift and work him out of his pants then boxers. Opening his eyes to witness her pulling her cutoff shirt above her head, he smiled at the fading stretch marks that seemed to disappear more and more each day from her ritual rub down of cocoa butter.

Those stretch marks were the only remaining evidence that she had given birth a few short months ago. She still straddled him and he sat up with her in his lap pulling his shirt above his head. His eyes fell upon her swollen breasts that he loved to put in his mouth. Licking and pulling at her large nipple gently Evangeline tilted her head back and moaned from his love kisses to her aching breasts.

Running his hands down the small of her back he slid the other under her rounded but grinding into her as she sat on his lap completely naked. Not able to resist her any longer he rolled her over to her back. Climbing on top of her as she parted her legs to receive him.

he pushed his way demandingly inside. Clawing at his back she felt him push and pull his love muscle in and out of her and her eyes rolled into her head from the decadent feelings coursing through her veins.

John hovered above her, resting on his left elbow watching her moan and twist underneath him, as he slowed his rotation directing their lovemaking to her satisfaction. He loved her so much and he was very proud of her accomplishments, but he wanted more and more meant for her to be his wife and mother to their daughter. Not the brilliant legal mind this town so demandingly wanted.

Running his hand across her body he looked at her curves as he drove himself deeper inside of her and his need to make her submit intensified. Pushing her thighs back he kept the rotation of his hips and watched as her mouth parted and her breath escaped her perfectly shaped lips. Kissing her face and then the inside of her neck she rested the heels of her feet at the base of his back opening herself even wider to receive him.

His lovemaking was slow and deliberate and he was determined to enjoy every minute. That was until he could hear Kayla soft cries through the monitor. Lifting his head he looked at the monitor disappointed still making love Evangeline. Evangeline put her hands to his chest pushing at him for him to stop. "I'll go…"

"Nooooo" he moaned not wanting to release her.
Lifting on her elbows she kissed his chin. "We can finish later." She said sweetly lowering her legs.

John reluctantly stopped the passionate thrusts and slid out of her. Rolling over to his back his penis still remained erect confused by the denial.

Evangeline got up and went to the chair in their room for her robe. Slipping it on she hurried out. John blew out a steady breath and rubbed his erectness out of his penis avoiding the urge to masturbate, preferring instead they finish what they started.

Feeling it subside he sat up and reached for his boxers. Going into their bathroom he put cold water on his face and then washed his hands. She was gone for close to ten minutes and he decided to go see what was going on.

Walking out of their room he headed into Kayla's to witness Evangeline rocking their little girl as she breastfed. He stopped in the door and smiled at the sight. Kayla let go her mom's breast and turned her head to look at her dad then went back to breastfeeding, her little hand resting on her mom's chest.

"You look beautiful when you're like this" he said softly.

She looked up at him her hair untamed and framing her face. "You're biased."

"I sure am" he said coming inside. "I'm also a little selfish"

She stared at him confused "Selfish?"

"I want you to cut back, not in a couple of weeks but now. Actually I want you to not work for the next year until Kayla is ready."

Evangeline stared at him and swallowed her hurt. She looked down at Kayla who looked up at her mother suckling her breasts and she shook her head sadly "Is it Kayla that's not ready or you?"

"I want my family"

"I would never ask you to cut back from the force…." She said softly her voice cracking with emotion as her eyes glistened with tears.

"Kayla needs you Van, can't you see that?"

"Don't do this…"

"I need you! I know how those long hours at that firm get. Especially since you've made partner, we'll never see you." he said going to her side and getting on his knees as she rocked their daughter.

"John please…"

"Van, tell me it didn't kill you being separated from her. Tell me you don't want to spend your days just like this. This is how it should be for us."

Evangeline stared at her daughter. She loved her more than she loved her own life. She longed for her through out the day, her body ached from the mothering instinct to hold her child. But she also felt good about her day as well. She was bored stiff at home with the baby, and missed the courtroom. Was that wrong? Looking at John smiling up at her she knew her husband thought it was. "I can do both, honestly. Let me try..."

He shook his head "Not when she's this young Van. It's too soon. You have to put Kayla first."

Blinking away her tears to conceal her pain she avoided his eyes. "Can we talk about it more later?"

John smiled seeing that she didn't say no. He felt he could eventually sway her to his way of thinking. Rising from next to her he kissed her forehead "Of course sweetie. I'll wait for you in bed."

Evangeline gave him a loving smile "Okay.."
She watched him walk out and let go of a single tear. Looking down at Kayla she smiled again. "What is mommy going to do sweetie? Is daddy right? Am I neglecting you?"

Kayla stopped sucking her mom's nipple and grinned up at her and Evangeline's heart melted. How could she convince him and her baby that she could do both? Or was she just fooling herself? Shouldn't a new mother want to spend every waking moment with her child?

She looked back at the door and faced a truth. She was a mother now and her husband wanted his family. As much as she shared his dreams for the perfect family, she just couldn't shake the fear that she'd disappear under them if she wasn't careful to hold onto hers.