Once upon a time about three thousand years ago in the great land of Egypt, there lived a great pharaoh by the name of Atem. He had the greatest, most powerful dick in all the land. In fact, Pharaoh Atem's dick was so great, that they had to build a gigantic pyramid palace full of magic, just to hold it together. It was called, The Great Penis Pyramid Palace.

One night High Priest Akunadin, Pharaoh Atem's uncle, awoke with a start. He gazed out his window, which framed the Penis Pyramid Palace, and thought.

"You know what," he said out loud to the empty air around him, "I think I shall destroy my nephew's dick tonight in the name of Porno the Perverted One!" And with those evil thoughts in his head he got up and left to go assemble the asscheeks of Egypt.

Around an hour later, Akunadin and his army of asscheeks arrived at The Great Penis Pyramid Palace of Pharaoh Atem's dick.

"Now my asscheeks!" Akunadin declared, "Destroy my nephew's Penis Pyramid Palace!"

"Yes sir!" The asscheeks sprinted forward, using their assy magic, to create asscracks in the gigantic monument.

Finally, after three hours of hard labor and lots of assy gassy magic, The Great Penis Pyramid Palace fell.

-

A few miles away in the royal palace, Pharaoh Atem was sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, the young king felt a sharp pain in a certain area and shot up in bed screaming, "HOLY FUCK! MY DICK JUST BROKE!"

Mahado, having heard his king's screams, burst into the room, millennium dildo (which he had just been using) in hand.

"My Pharaoh!" he cried, "What is wrong!" Atem stood from where he had been sitting on the large comfy bed and pointed to a pile of shards of something at his feet. Mahado looked closer and nearly fainted when he saw what it was: Pharaoh Atem's dick. The priest quickly dashed from the room.

Atem meanwhile, moaned in pain. After all, it wasn't too pleasant having your dick broken. He lay back down on the bed, careful not to disturb his dick shards. Of all the fucking things that could have fucking happened to him his fucking dick had to fucking break in the middle of the fucking night. Fate must fucking hate him….fuck.

After about ten minutes, in which Atem had realized he was slowly dying, Mahado came back in carrying a strange golden box.

"Mahado, what the hell is that thing?"

"It's a box, my Pharaoh."

"I can see that, but what's it for?"

"It's for your dick shards."

"There was a box specially made for my dick shards?"

Mahado didn't answer. Instead, he held up the millennium dildo and said, "I hereby name this poor shattered dick, the millennium dick!" Atem watched as a bright light shown throughout the room.

Suddenly, he felt as if his soul was being ripped from his body, but as soon as the feeling had come, it was gone, to be replaced by darkness.

I bet many of you are wondering what has happened to our dear Pharaoh Atem. Well, to make a long story short, Atem was sealed inside his own dick, now the millennium dick, and Mahado stuck all the dick shards in the golden box and buried it in Atem's tomb. And so ends the great tale of Pharaoh Atem, the man with the greatest dick to ever live.

The End

May the Pharaoh's dick be in your pants forever...

A/N: I don't even remember when I wrote this or why. But I sincerely hope you enjoyed it.