Red Delicious...or Not? (Actual title, FF's a bitch)

Allen couldn't believe it. He really just couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"You don't like apples." He repeated, for what must be the seventh time.

Sighing, Link looked up from the document he was writing on, glanced at the stack that sat, forgotten, beneath the exorcist's hands. There was no earthly way they were going to finish that by the curfew. Especially not considering Allen's wavering attention. "No, I don't. Please finish the page you are on before we must return to your room."

The teenager scowled, reclaiming his pen. He grumbled, "It wouldn't take so many days if you would just let us spend a whole night in the library…"

It was an old argument. He probably only brought it up out of habit.

All the same, it irked Link, and that showed in his response. "I have no power in that respect."

Allen leaned forward, showing teeth. "What respect? You mean when you go to sleep?"

"No, when you do!"

"But you go with me!"

"Argh!! You're impossible!" He came to his feet, banging his fists on the table hard enough to bounce the stacks of paper.

Allen looked up at him, hiding a smirk. He liked breaking the man's composure, and he'd gotten rather good at it. Time to go in for the killing blow.

He muttered under his breath- loud enough to hear, of course, for otherwise, What was the point? "…still can't believe you don't like apples."

"That's it!"

Link stalked around the table and snatched up Allen's wrist, dragging him out of the library and mumbling to himself the whole time, "Apples this, apples that…fine. Show you…eat a fucking apple. Maybe then you'll be quiet and do your work…!"

Stumbling along behind, struggling to match his supervisor's furious pace, Allen beamed. Link didn't curse very often. He wasn't sure when it had become so much fun to stroke the man's temper, or exactly why. Allen did like Howard; he thought he was a good person, but he was…a bit too committed to his work. When Link was angry, when he reached his boiling point and was pushed beyond, Allen felt as if he were seeing the real person, the one behind the expressionless exterior.

The real Howard Link was the type of person Allen would fight for. In the months since they had met, he had come to understand exactly what kind of man Link was. No matter what his mask, or his responsibilities, would rather.

Link pushed his shoulder into the door he wanted without slowing and pulled Allen to his front. With a growl, he planted a hand in the center of his back and shoved him farther into the kitchens.

"Find a stupid apple," He sneered through gritted teeth, moving towards the table in the corner with heavy steps. "I'll wait over there."

Allen smothered a laugh behind his hand. His appetite often led the rest of him here in between mealtimes and he knew his way around, so it didn't take him very long to find the sack Jerry kept next to the pantry. It was so full that it practically spilled Red Delicious apples to the floor. Allen took one off the top and, shining it on his stomach, walked back to where Link sat glaring and taping his foot. He thrust out a hand with a look.

Grinning, his teeth flashing in meager light from some mysterious source, the exorcist ignored the proffered limb and instead pressed the fruit against the man's mouth.

Link's annoyed expression briefly gave way to surprise, but returned again with a touch of deviance. Staring up into impish silver eyes, without lowering his outstretched hand (but curling his fingers in towards himself), he took a bite.

As he chewed, Allen lowered the fruit to the tabletop in front of him and dragged a chair closer, watching expectantly.

After what seemed like forever, Link's throat thickened as he swallowed the piece. Allen leaned forward, and he lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Still don't like it," He said, tone dry.

Allen jerked back, unable to believe it. "You're lying,"

One corner of Link's mouth turned up in a smirk. He shook his head. The teenager grabbed the abandoned fruit thinking, it must be sour…but Jerry doesn't keep bad food…Flavor flooded his mouth as he sampled his own bite, tasting tart and sweet, everything a good apple tasted like.

"You got a bad spot," He insisted, the fruit still held against his teeth.

Link huffed, quickly growing exasperated. "No."

"But everyone likes apples!" Allen's chair was pushed up onto two legs. "You can't just not like them- they're apples!" He shoved the object of conflict at the other's face. "Have another bite!"

"I will not," Link pushed the hand aside. "It doesn't taste good."

"Try, one more time, please." He persisted, leaning harder. The legs creaked in protest, beginning to slip on the tile, but neither of the men noticed. "Please!"

"No! I told you already, I don't like-"

Allen reached farther, and the chair slid out from beneath him.

"Careful!"

There was a loud, echoing clatter as the escaped chair hit the floor, where Allen's leg in an instant kicked it to the side.

Link's hands gripped the teenager's upper arms, as Allen's did his. Or at least, one did. The other hand was still closed around the apple.

The teenager jerked away and stood straight. He was sulking.

The apple reappeared in the man's line of vision, and just like that, the argument resumed. Only…

"Eat it." Allen looked kind of angry. Link was confused, but he could be stubborn as well as anyone. He pushed it away again. "No."

It came back. "Eat it."

Trembling with anger, he shot up. The exorcist's eyes followed his. "No! You're a child, this is stupid! I've already said, I don't like-"

Allen cut him off. Stole a hand away behind his neck and pulled him down and forward, scrapping a bit of meat off the fruit with his teeth as he did, and stopped his supervisor's mouth with his. And with dexterous twist, he pushed the piece of food onto Link's tongue. Just as quickly, he drew away, back a step, glaring and shaking, eyes alight with resentment.

"-apples." Link finished. Only the word came out strange and garbled, for the sweet bit sitting on his tongue. He swallowed without chewing or tasting.

Allen huffed, shoulders squared and back, his chin down.

"Now," he very nearly snarled. "was that so hard?"

The apple was in his face again.

Link snatched it, took a jerky bit and chewed briefly, swallowed. He licked his lips.

"I don't like apples." He pushed his chin out, punctuating the last word.

Allen screamed in frustration.


I kind of feel like this isn't done yet, but I want to throw it out there so badly, I figure I'll face any consequences later. Anyway, I take a foods and nutrition class at my high school, and my teacher there plays a lot of Alton Brown, Good Eats episodes. Well, when we were covering fruit, there was some skit when he was in a supermarket, talking about which apples bake well and which don't, and he said something about Red Delicious...I, you see, had been riding a sorely neglected Link/Allen kick at the time (and still kind of am), and that pretty much slapped me in the face. Plot bunnies were staging attacks, but my defenses were too strong...(i.e., I couldn't think of how to mix it all up).

So, weeks later, you get this. I hope you like it...though I can see Allen's moodswings giving some people whiplash...

(Don't mind me, I'm tired.)

Please review, because I want to know what you think. Even if you don't like it...maybe especially if you don't...I think my ego has been stroked too much...It's been awhile since I got a respectfully negetive review...

...(silence).

-Oceans

(Now I remember what I'd intended to put here. I was theorizing why this fandom is so malnourished and thought it might be because people- those who know who Howard Link even is- haven't seen very much interaction between him and Allen. I'd originally wanted to make this more dark and lusty, because apples tie up so well with temptation and 'forbidden fruit,' but I couldn't get that perspective going, and then when I started this, I couldn't turn it into one of those cute oneshots that ends with a confession/realization and a first kiss either. So this came out in the end...)

That is a hell of an A/N. You get brownie points if you actually read it all.