Note: Avatar belongs to Nickelodeon. This WILL have slash in it. If you don't like it then I wouldn't advise reading on. You've had your warning. I don't want any bitching that I didn't tell you in advance. And I'm sorry I sound nasty but I'm sleepy and in a bad mood. :P
Now
I'm in over my head
with something I said
Completely
misread
I'm better off dead
And now I can see
How fake you
can be
This hypocrisy is beginning to get to me
It's funny what sorts of things bring back memories. That wooden comb that she obsessively ran through her hair, ever so sensitive about it … A bright branch of mistletoe that we would hang over every doorway we could reach… Dripping wax candles that were our only source of light during those long discussions… These are all parts of my childhood.
I brush her hair pensively and note that even straightened with smoke she still compares it to mine. The mistletoe is packed away now that the holidays are over but no amount of Christmas kisses will ever match that one. And the first thing I did was ignite a few white candles for comfort. Yet the feeling of complete safety and happiness, that wonderful naïve belonging is gone.
Back then there were four of us. Four spoiled, over exuberant children who trusted each other absolutely. There are still four of us. There always will be.
Me and Mai were closer than sisters. Are we still? Now I never really understand what's going inside her head. Azula was so proud, pretty, smart, and generally better than us. I didn't know why I still hung out with her after years of taking her insults. I'm still not sure. It didn't start as love. And then there was Zuko… Here now, gone tomorrow, leaving a trail of heartbreak.
But we weren't always power hungry murderers. We didn't always hurt each other. I'm trying so hard to write it down before the moment fades. Before grim present day reality sets in. It wasn't always like this… It was different.
We were happy. Now that's a thought.