Talvi Frank starred at the wall. She was curled up on the couch, examining the pebbled effect of the paint. Seeing the little imperfections, smudges, uneven areas, and where the paint didn't stick. The place where she hit her head on the ceiling. The place where a grape hit when her friend threw it. The cobwebs in the corner, she was a horrible cleaner. She had painted the whole room last summer. That had been fun.
She sighed. She hadn't had an especially bad day, but that was just it, there was nothing special. The monotony of her life was depressing. There seemed to be this kind of pall, covering everything. There was no excitement in her days. Nothing drove her. Wake up. Get dressed. Go to school. Waste away through 6 hours of criticism, and then leave and waste away some more as she got that again from her parents. She had no reason. No happiness. It wasn't like she was suicidal, or even sad, because there was no reason to feel that way. No reason to really feel anyway. Every day was taken with such a methodical approach to it; of course, no one would dare act different then than they had every other day. No one would dare to do anything rash, or spontaneous… The whole predictability of other day made her grow apathetic. There was this intangible feeling of disappointment with herself, and the rest of the world that she just couldn't shake. Talvi wondered why she put up with it, living the same way, without really being herself or doing as she just trying to get through each day, and nothing more. She rolled over and realized her leg had fallen asleep. She knew that no one would ever, or could ever help. She felt lost, but never let anyone know. She acted happy and just wished she could convincer herself that she was. Slowly rubbing the sore and tingling appendage, she began to reiterate to herself, how she should accept the way her life was. She should feel lucky to have what she has, not worry for what hasn't. She had to act this way because that's just the way people do things. She would regret other actions tomorrow. She just wished, that maybe there wouldn't be a tomorrow to worry for. Wiping her face with her sleeve, she asked herself why she was crying when she had everything going for her, and then she told herself to grow up, and stop it.