Setting: Konohagakure. Gaara, (The Kazekage) is visiting the Hidden Leaf village for a casual occasion. He's hanging out with Ino and Sakura at a locally owned coffee shop. (All official business has been taken care of) Enjoy a bit of OOC and crack! ^-^
"You'd be the uke." When did this topic come about? Let alone when did I become gay?
Well, I guess the gay thing...that's sort of correct. I hate that word though. I prefer rainbow enthusiast.
What? I like the term. It's much more...flamboyant. Something I'm not.
Let's get back to the present though not my head. When this topic came about I was sitting with Ino and Sakura.
Downfall #1. Everyone knows they are the biggest yaoi fangirls in the history of ever.
They were talking about who would be cute with whom. Example: Kiba and Naruto
The minute they let that roll off their tongues my frappe ended up all over Sakura's face. I felt slightly bad.
It was her fault though! She shouldn't have suggested that Naruto and Kiba be a yaoi pairing. No.
"Come oooon, Gaara-chan! You know it's true!" I shook my head at the pink haired medic-nin. No. No. Nope.
"You don't agree? You're usually all for our conversations about yaoi pairings!" Ino interrogated.
Maybe it's because you're talking about Naruto. Ever thought of that, blondie?
"Is it Naruto?" Oh, apparently she had.
"No." I muttered into my drink. No matter how many times I denied it the two knew better than anyone how I felt.
"It is. Ino! I told you it was a bad idea." Sakura scolded her blonde friend. I sighed. They tried, they really did.
"I just wanted to make sure he still had feelings for him." My eye twitched. I have liked Naruto since the day I met him over three years ago.
"It's obvious he does." I'm still here...
"You know, I can hear you." I said. The two looked at me and gulped.
"Oh! Sorry, Gaa-chan we know." Sakura said with her naturally sweet smile. More like naturally deceiving. She is a vicious bitch when she's pissed. I don't understand what Sasuke sees in her.
"You'd so be the uke." Ino announced as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I am not a fucking uke!
"What?" I asked. I had to make sure I heard her right.
"If you and Naru-kun were in a relationship you'd sooooo be the uke." Yep, I had heard her right. My frappe was going down her cleavage.
"GAA-CHAN!" Sakura squealed as I started my movement to pour the coffee-filled drink down the platinum blonde's shirt.
"What are you three up too?" I turned my head to find Naruto staring at the three of us. I realized how the scene looked almost instantly. My hand was on Ino's boob and all that. I ripped my hand away and put the frappe back down on the table.
"Nothing." I mutter.
"I was just telling Gaa-chan here how he'd be-" I launched myself over the table at Ino. I could sense the sweat-drop of both Sakura and Naruto. Oh well. Naruto is not finding out that I'm 'gay' because of her!
"Er, Ino and Gaara are just having a nice debate is all." Sakura clarified for Naruto.
"Ah, that's interesting." He said.
"Uzumaki-san! Your coffee!" The barista held up his drink. Naruto nodded and walked back over to the counter. I let go of Ino's mouth.
"Why can't I tell him!?" She asked.
"Are you crazy?!" I asked her right back.
"Who's crazy?" Well, that counter wasn't as far away as I anticipated. That...and Naruto is really fucking tall.
"No one." I said in a monotonous voice. Naruto grinned and pulled up a chair.
"Doesn't sound like no one, Gaa-chan" I glared at him. The only ones allowed to call me that are Ino and Sakura.
"Don't call me that." He smirked. Damn it. That smirk gets me ever tim.
"Why not? Gaa-chan." I'm not sure what's worse. The fact that I can feel my face heat up, or the fact that he's purposefully emphasizing my nickname.
I could hear Ino start to giggle. I glanced over at her. She pointed at her phone. Our universal signal to check our text messages.
May as well.
"I need to look at this." I slid my phone open.
Ino: Gaa-chan and Naru-kun! Sooo cute! soo soo cute! He's flirting with you soooo bad!
Saku-chan: Hurry up and make a move already!
I closed my phone. I could feel my face heat up as I glanced at the two girls. Ino winked and Sakura held up her thumb.
"Well, boys. We gotta dash." Ino said spontaneously. What? She's leaving me here...with...him!?
"Yea, later!" Sakura got up and followed Ino out of the coffee shop. They are getting an ear full later.
"So, what did Ino say?" Naruto asked as he took a sip of his drink. Oh, great.
"When?"
"Now. I saw her pointing at her phone." Damn it.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I felt my phone vibrate.
"Uh-huh." Naruto smirked and raised an eyebrow.
Ino: If you're not the uke then you betta prove me wrong!
I was going to murder her.
"Something about uke and seme and yaoi pairings." I answered casually.
"Oh?" he asked curiously. "Who's she pairing now?" I was about to tell him that she had the idea of he and Kiba but then a brilliant idea popped into my head.
"You won't like it." I said seriously.
"Really? Who'd she pair me with this time?" Apparently Ino had a thing for pairing Naruto with more than one person. He is the universal type of guy.
"Me." I said casually as I took a sip of my frappe.
"Oh really?" I nodded while playing with my straw.
"Yup. Sort of awkward, huh?" Naruto grinned.
"Nah." If I had eyebrows they would have been raised in curiosity.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Well I don't think it's awkward. At least, not when I want that pairing to be a reality." That boy was lucky I didn't have anything in my mouth. It would have been spat right out at his face. Apparently I must have given him a pretty funny look if he had to explain himself.
"What I mean is that... for a while I've... it's just that... you see... I've been wanting too... would you be willing..." he went on like that for a good five minutes.
"Naruto." I finally decided to stop the poor fellow.
"Hmm?" I rolled my eyes.
"Video games and pizza?" He broke out in a grin.
"My apartment." I nodded. Sounded like a good first date to me. We walked out of the coffee shop only to be attacked by Ino and Sakura.
"JUMP HIS BONES!" Ino shouted in our faces.
"Ino!" Sakura squealed. She was hanging out with Hinata too much.
"What? We still need to know if Gaa-chan is uke or not." Ino said with a huff.
"Ino-chan you have to be patient. You'll know soon enough." Naruto said with a grin as he patted her shoulder. I could see the squeal rise inside of her.
"Alright, but let me know a.s.a.p." I rolled my eyes. Why did I tolerate nonsense such as these two?
Chapter one of: I'M NOT AN UKE! This was originally a one shot but when I ended it like this I realized I had room for...SO MUCH MORE. Teehee! I've always wanted to do a...crack fic? If that's even what this is. I think it is...mainly because Gaara's hanging out with Ino and Sakura. Anyway. Tootles!