I own nothing!!
Hope you all like this! Completely AU continues after in sams time of dying
Chapter 1
The silence was the worst.
When everything was quiet, it all came back to him. How it all went done. And the guilt weighed on him like a stone. Even now, perched on a bar stool in the midst of
a packed bar it was all he could think about.
"Two weeks," he muttered to himself, finishing off his third bottle of beer. Two weeks and he had gotten diddly squat.
"Another," he nodded to the bartender, catching his eye, at the other end of the bar. The man (Matt as he'd introduced himself earlier when the place had been a
little quieter and him a little less busy) nodded and went to his work. He came up, slid him the beer and Dean handed him the last of his money. He didn't think twice
about it. Why waste good money on a room for a night when he was terrified to close his eyes?
"You're not going to find the answers there," Matt said, watching as Dean took a huge swig of the beer. He considered telling this wannabe to screw off but didnt
have the energy. Instead, he settled for, "Here's to self pity."
"Do you mind me asking, whats the trouble?"
"Nothing,"
"Come on," Matt pressed, sensing Deans reluctance, "try me."
"Do you have a brother?"
"No," Matt said, shaking his head.
"Never mind," Dean said, almost sadly, "You wouldn't understand." Matt was distracted by a costumer, looking for a drink and Dean watched him go. He almost
envied him. Heavily, he took his phone from his pocket and flipped it open. It was a new model. Dean had tossed his old one out on a highway after a couple of days
out of the hospital. He had been so tempted to ring his dad back then. Now he wished he hadn't. He just
wanted to hear a familiar voice, even his.
Dad was all he had left, a little voice supplied.
No!NO! Sam was coming back. He had to get him back! He just had to. He couldn't live like this. Like every breath and every day was stolen. It was all wrong.
"Is someone sitting here?"
Dean looked up not remotely interested in the perky blonde addressing him.
"Well?"
"Yeah," he said, "that's my brothers seat. He'll be back soon."