Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N::waves:: I'm back! Also, I'm the worst title creator ever. Ever.
Edmund has never seen Peter so lost as when he and Susan come back from Narnia for the last time.
It's not obvious. His brother has never displayed his pains and troubles for others to see, but Edmund notices.
He walks into Peter's room and sees his brother staring out the window, a haunted, faraway look on his face, and he frowns, backtracking and entering the room again, making more noise this time. Peter turns to him, all signs of distress tucked away, a smile on his face as he says, "Hello, Ed."
This happens a few times until Edmund can see the shadow of pain that is there even when Peter is hiding it.
The small, insecure part of him that has never fully gone away says, what makes you think you can read Peter that well? What makes you think he needs comfort at all, let alone yours?
And then he shakes his head and thinks, who could know his brother better than him?
And the next time he walks into Peter's room, he walks noiselessly and, unnoticed, puts a hand on his brother's shoulder. Peter looks up, and Edmund can see the mask he is hastily donning, the pain he is quickly concealing, and his voice is warm and tender as he says, "You don't have to hide, Peter. Not with me."
And Peter, his self-sacrificing brother, strong High King of Narnia, finally lets go and leans into Edmund's embrace, arms clutching desperately at the comfort his brother offers.
--00--
When he and Lucy come back from Narnia for the last time, he finds himself wandering a lot. He will pick up a book, and a few disjointed thoughts will float to the top of his brain, something like, when I'm in Narnia again—
And then he'll stop, and his eyes will turn dark with emotion, and he'll turn sharply on his heel and go somewhere else.
He sees Lucy, once, leaning against the wall in front of her room, tears not visible, but the anguished expression on her face familiar. She leans her head back and stares at something only she can see, whispering brokenly, "Oh Aslan, Aslan. How could you be so cruel? To show us what we could have and then take it back…"
It has hit Lucy the hardest.
It has hit Lucy the hardest, but it has hit him hard as well. He thinks he has been successful in hiding it, but he comes into his room one day to find his brother sitting there, eyes warm and understanding.
And he can't find the strength in him to pull away or pretend any longer, when his brother's arms encircle him and his lips touch the top of his head, and Peter whispers in his ear, "It's my turn, Ed. I'm here."
And Edmund lets himself fall, knowing his brother is there to catch him.