Unconditional

Author: Cate

Summary: SamLexis one-shot. This is just what I wish had happened after Alexis saw Sam and Ric doing the nasty. Also involves Stefan and Nikolas.

Rating: PG

Author's Note: I do not own and am not in any way affiliated with TFGH.

Every person has a breaking point. After everything she had been through, a hellish childhood and an adult life fraught with isolation and abandonment, Alexis Davis had finally reached hers, and all it took was a glimpse through her own front window. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

She did neither. Instead, she ran.

Ran past Jason Morgan, the holy hit man with the heart of gold. Ran down the deserted tree-lined road leading to the port that had given this insidious town its name. Ran to the docks, and onto the launch, and when there was no where left to run, she paced the small boat like a caged animal, springing free the moment that the vessel docked at Spoon Island.

Wyndemere stood as silent and grotesque as ever, but she ignored the building, which she never could bring herself to refer to as a home, and ran steadily along the island's perimeter until she came to the small, unadorned headstone that marked her brother's final resting place. When she reached the grave, she knew that she hadn't the strength to run any further. Alexis collapsed, sobbing, onto the soft ground.

Samantha crawled slowly across the living room floor, fighting off the waves of nausea that accompanied her every movement. Her step-father -- her own step-father! -- lay passed out on the couch behind her. She truly made herself sick.

Sam reached the table and forced herself to stand, using the sturdy wooden chair for support as she gradually rose to her feet. She found her car keys hanging neatly from the hook near the door, and in an uncharacteristic show of responsibility she paused and considered whether she was in any condition to drive. The moment passed quickly, as Sam recognized that the act of viciously betraying of her own mother had left her all too sober. She had to make it right; she had to see Alexis. Without a second thought, Sam grabbed the keys and walked out, refusing to look back at the path of destruction that she was leaving in her wake.

Nikolas had just settled himself before a mountain of paperwork when Sam burst through the door of his study, yelling over her shoulder at Alfred that she was quite capable of seeing herself in. The Cassadine Prince regarded his cousin with calm detachment, ever protective of his aunt against this crude, venomous intruder.

Sam ignored his cold demeanor and breathlessly demanded, "Where's Alexis?"

"At home with her family, I would imagine," he replied airily, returning his gaze to the work in front of him.

"Yeah, guess again," Sam snapped. "I've been looking for her for hours. The guys running the launch said that she came here and never went back to the mainland. Unless she swam, which I highly doubt, she's still here. Nikolas, please, I really need to see her."

With that last plea her tone had grown plaintive, a sharp contrast from the entitled shrew she'd been acting like only a moment before. Nikolas was startled to look up at his cousin and see his aunt's deep brown eyes looking pleadingly back at him. It was the first time he'd ever detected even the slightest resemblance between Alexis and Samantha, but now he wondered how he'd ever missed it.

"Alexis isn't here," he said, responding softly this time. "I haven't seen her all night."

"But those guys at the launch," Sam argued, "They work for you, don't they? They were absolutely sure."

Nikolas frowned. Suddenly he stood up, squeezed past his cousin who still lingered in the doorway, and motioned for her to follow as he made his way toward the door. Not a word was spoken as they exited the mansion and crossed the grounds; Nikolas' pace was brisk, and Sam had to struggle to keep up. She nearly collided with him when he stopped short, and as he lifted a finger to his lips to silence her, her ears picked up on the unmistakable sound of a mother's anguish.

Acting on her cousin's silent but unmistakable order, Sam stood still while Nikolas gently approached Alexis. "Leave me," she cried in Russian, waving him away, but he crouched down beside her and gently rubbed her back.

"Tell me what's wrong." He spoke in English for Samantha's benefit.

Alexis obliged and reverted to the language of their adopted home, but that did nothing to quell the chilling effect of her next words. "It's our fault, Nikolas. We killed him."

"Luke Spencer killed him," Nikolas replied firmly, but his aunt would have none of it.

"Luke may have sent him over the edge, but who do you think pushed him there?" she asked harshly before crying out again. "I didn't even know… I didn't realize until tonight…"

"Realize what?" her nephew asked, pulling back to give her space as she sat up.

Alexis didn't respond, but rose solidly to her feet, and forced herself to look upon her daughter as she suggested, "Let's go inside. There's something I think you both should hear."

The settled into the sitting room, with Nikolas and Samantha side-by-side on the couch and Alexis perched on the edge of an armchair. Realizing that this was far from easy for his aunt, Nikolas cleared his throat and prompted, "What makes you think that anyone aside from Luke Spencer is responsible for my uncle's death?"

"Oh, Nikolas," she sighed, "You saw him at the end. He was practically suicidal - I'm not unconvinced that he purposely set Luke up to kill him. And even if he didn't plan it, he didn't fight it, either. I did that," her voice began to quaver. "I broke him. So did you, but I think I was worse."

She stood and paced the room, her demeanor indicating that whatever reassuring platitudes he could offer to the contrary would not be welcome. After a brief pause, she composed herself enough to resume her seat and speak, this time looking directly and unflinchingly at her daughter. "A parent's love is unconditional. Sometimes, their children take that for granted… I took that for granted. So did you, Nikolas. He was the only father that either of us ever knew, and we…" She trailed off, sighed, and started over. "Children, even grown children, can forget that their parents are only human. They act out and do horrible things, because they know that no matter how much they hurt their parent, he or she will always love and forgive them. They certainly never imagine that they could be completely destroying their parent in the process."

Sam looked away, fighting the bile that was rising at the back of her throat, as Nikolas guiltily stared into the fireplace. Alexis ignored them both and continued. "Nikolas, when you turned your back on Stefan it devastated him. Ever since you were born, his entire life was devoted to you; when you pushed him aside, he lost his purpose. But then, I didn't exactly help him get it back, did I? At least when you hurt him it was in one fell swoop… I kept dealing blow after blow after blow, since I don't even remember when, just because I could. I loved him. I loved him as a father, as a brother, as the only true friend I had for most of my life. But I used him, too. I almost couldn't help it. No one else would have taken it from me, but he always did. I assumed that he could, that I could hurt him over and over again and he'd be angry for a while but then he'd love me again, and he'd be okay. It worked well, for a long time, but somewhere along the line it got to be too much for him, and I didn't even see it coming until suddenly he wasn't okay, and he couldn't forgive me. He'd been hit too many times, and by the time I realized that he was starting to crumble it was already too late."

She'd started to cry again, and Nikolas got up to hand her a tissue. She dabbed at her eyes as he assured her, "It wasn't your fault. You both went through so much, things that no person should ever have to face, and it made him a little weaker-"

"Don't you ever call him weak," she hissed, cutting him off. "He was stronger than I ever could be." Alexis tearfully looked back at Sam as she said, "For years I thought that he died hating me. That was comforting, in a way. I deserve to have him hate me. But after tonight -- after I came home and saw you having sex with Ric -- I realized that it wasn't true. I did unthinkable things to him until he couldn't take it anymore, but never for a second did he stop loving me. I understand now just how much he loved me, and just how much I didn't deserve it, and I don't know how to live with that."

This time it was Sam's turn to cry as her mother kneeled before her, their faces inches apart. "I love you," Alexis pronounced, slowly and deliberately letting the words sink in. "I love you more than you could understand -- more than I hope you ever have to understand. But it's killing me just to look at you right now. If you have any sense of compassion in you, then please, just leave."

Sam looked up, to shocked to so much as sniffle, and whispered, "I'm sorry," as she quickly scrambled away. Tears began streaming down Alexis' face at the sound of these two words, but she pulled away when her nephew tried to offer comfort, and instead stood to look him directly in the eye and offer one more painful wish for his future.

"I hope you never have to realize just how much you meant to him." With this, she turned and walked away.