Worth
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Warnings: This story will contain mild cases of: femdom, verbal abuse, and a mention of physical abuse.
If any of these offends you or makes you uncomfortable. Please EXIT now!
"Your existence will always be a hindrance to me, Hinata."
Hinata is always finding himself weak against the many molestations towards him from his wife. He can't say he doesn't necessarily dislike the feeling of pleasure—it's the shame that follows afterwards that has the Main household heir spiting himself. He can't help himself but be dominated by her in their physical sessions. He can't help but lie there and take the verbal abuse and constant tug and scratch of a nail to the skin.
"Ironic, isn't it, cousin?" Neji has tied Hinata's hands above his head, and taut against a heavy iron weight. Because of his small, lean frame the Main heir cannot set himself free. "A feminine name for a feminine boy." Neji mocks him and runs her fingernails over his nipples as she grinds herself further onto her husband.
Neji hates the way he never fights her. Hates how he is always passive and willing to be bent and pulled in various ways. And sometimes, Neji wonders if the reason why her husband never utters a sound of refusal is because he pities her. That thought instantly makes the kunoichi's blood boil.
"Don't go easy on me because I'm a woman, cousin!" Neji starts to test her husband's body even further and sees just how much she can affect him. She wonders if it's the way her touch can be gentle yet forceful, or maybe the way her warmth just seems to flow into him. Whatever it is, Hinata turns red and begins to sweat under her gaze. "You're just a perverted, sissy boy!" Neji's words are like a painful slap to his face, and Hinata flushes red even more
Many a times, Neji forgoes Hinata's release and ends up leaving the poor male alone and aching. Usually, not till the morning does she contemplate showing Hinata any satisfactory release. But more than usual (for sport) Neji will slip an aphrodisiac into the heir's tea. Finding pleasure in the way he stutters and turns red at the slightest touch or look. Neji always reminds Hinata that if he were to find release by his own means... that would just prove how worthless and laughable the heir really was.
Sometimes, there are days that Neji feels a stirring in not only her core but also her heart. Days where Hinata is beaten by a cane by his father for being worthless and not siring his own heir by now. Days when Hinata's once long hair is cut short as to not hinder the bandages wrapped around his bruised and bloodied face. Days where Neji can't help but show a sliver of mercy towards her husband as she gazes at the extensive abuse his body has suffered.
Merely, a means to keep her husband going on so she can have her own fun on his body.
On those days, Neji does not constrict her husband. On special days like those, Neji is soft and tender in her ways towards Hinata. Where kisses and caresses hold more meaning and purpose than hurtful words and beatings. On those days, Neji can't help but feel her own guilt and shame at her mistreating towards Hinata. Rare and delicate days.
"Don't cry anymore, shh." Neji whispers to the trembling male as he covers his face with bandaged hands.
"Please, tell me... p-p-please." Hinata begs woefully as he curls into his wife's open arms.
Neji complies because she knows it will help him through the night. That her lies will make the world seem like a better place...
"I love you."
Neji spites the Main household and all who represent it. The obvious mark on her forehead tells of her duty, of her purpose, and of her never-ending curse. Though she may spite her male cousin—she is his property.
Only on the sparring field can Neji fully show how much she hates Hinata. Shows him how much she wishes he would die and that he leave her forever. Only on the sparring field does Hinata willing let his body become battered, bruised, and bloodied by her hands. Because in reality, Hinata hates himself too.
His main wish is to be free of his family. To free Neji.
On the sparring field, Neji will continuously voice her thoughts, opinions, and dislike for her cousin and the house she represents. Her words are always sharp, jagged, and pinned right into Hinata's heart. Always with the end of the sparring session does Neji spitefully comment about how their names were befitting regardless of a masculine or feminine annotation. "Though, you'll always be a boy with a girl's name!" Neji will scream as she punches Hinata in the stomach.
It's messed up. Their relationship. It really is.
"Neji," Hinata will touch his wife's hair as it spills around her like a puddle of murky ink. A bold contrast against white sheets. He likes the way it feels against his fingers. Moments like these he can pretend that what he feels is her love for him. "I-I l-love you."
He doesn't lie when he says it. He never lies to her. He's always honest and always painfully beautiful with words. No matter how much or how little he stutters. If anything, Hinata has heart. Too much of it.
Neji never replies back to Hinata and the male is left wondering if she was truly asleep or if she hated him so much to ignore him. What he would do to make his wife look at him with even an ounce of acknowledgment. Anything.
"Why can't you just disappear from my life?" her words are cold and welcoming in the darkness. In fact, Neji is grateful that she can't see her husband's face. Seeing a full grown man cry... it's not only pathetic... it's... heart breaking.
The next morning is always irritating
Hinata is always consistent about leaving a simple daisy on his pillow case for Neji to find. He doesn't have experience in courting nor does he have experience in showing just how much he cares for her. He does his best. Again, Hinata has heart.
Neji will either do one of two things. She will either glare down at the daisy till she wills it to wilt OR simply destroy the offending object. More times, it's the latter.
But this time... no... this time there is no daisy. Yet in its place rests a red carnation. My heart aches for you; I admire you.
Just another thing Neji hates. So, she chooses to destroy the flower by tearing and ripping it's petals into small pieces. There's a realization that Hinata will see the mess, but will he get the hint and understand?
Neji doesn't need Hinata. Doesn't need his love. Doesn't need him. She doesn't need anything to do with him.
It's later that day does Neji find her husband in his private gardens bleeding. It's a sick satisfaction in seeing how red mixes with the clear pond water that Hinata is lying in. Does she call out for help or does she leave him to be in such a state? Neji almost turns away—almost. However, when she notices Hinata's partially opened eyes staring her down with such serene calm—Neji feels conflicted. Because now, Hinata closes his eyes fully and turns his head the other way.
"I really do love you." it's the last words Neji hears as she runs searching for help.
To Hinata, he finally believes that this is the end for him. That his wife will finally be free of his presence and being in this world. He welcomes death with arms wide open. He assumes that when he blacks out, it will only be mere minutes before there is enough water entering into his lungs for him to fully drown.
It only takes an inch of water to drown in. Hinata thinks that a pond is more than blessing enough.
When Hinata awakes, he is surprised and confused. His eye sight is blurry and he feels all but well.
"Is it true?" Neji's voice is soft against Hinata's ear and he turns to see his wife's face peering down at him. He's pulled tightly into her side and warmth. Like a child comforted by their mother. Something like that, Hinata only has mere memories of his own mother. Memories and nothing more. Hanabi was blessed to be born a girl and to receive such attention from their Okaa-san.
Unfortunately for Hinata—he was instantly thrown into the male-dominated world of being heir of the Main branch.
"W-what?" he's confused when he responds.
"Is it true?" Neji's voice rises and she glares down at her husband. "That your father beat you because you refused to sire an heir by forcing yourself onto me?"
Yes, it's true. Hinata wants to confess, but his voice fails him and he can only nod.
"I really do hate you." Neji completely ignores her husband now. "I hate you for loving me. I hate you for being born. I hate every fiber of your being. You're a pathetic bug that will eventually die."
If he wasn't so numb, so emotionally unresponsive, Hinata would more than likely look away in shame and cry.
"You tried to kill yourself in the pond. You thought I wouldn't come back." It's by this time does Hinata notice how Neji's voice begins to waver.
"You c-c-came b-back." Hinata smiles softly up at his wife and lifts his left hand to trace her covered forehead, down to the curvature of her cheek, and over the plumpness of her lips. It's all he can do. To smile and to caress his wife's lovely face till she either pushed his hand away or pulled her body away altogether. She never does it though. She lets him touch her face. Lets him caress her skin as if it were priceless silk and he was admiring its beautiful craftsmanship.
"Y-you're s-so beautiful." Hinata forces out the words through a heave of his chest and finally rests his hand back onto the futon. "I only wanted you to be happy. You were always treated so bad. I would have done anything to make you smile... even for a moment." Hinata is honest in his confession. He could see how Neji was driven by ambition and desire to be the best and to prove people wrong. Hinata could see the pain in his female cousin where others did not.
"You're really an idiot." Neji glares down at her husband.
"I'm sorry." Hinata can only smile back.
So, should I continue on with this or leave it as it is? Please tell me your thoughts!
Danke!