AUTHORS NOTE: I'm sorry guys, but I just don't think I will be able to continue this story... I can't think of any ideas to continue it, and I this summer is turning out to be way crazy and busy. If I get a plot fleshed out, I might be able to continue, but I don't see that happening. I'm really sorry! I know several people wanted me to continue the story and I wanted to as well, but it doesn't look that is going to work out.

Wow, my first Twilight story! This is exciting. Set immediatley after Eclipse. Paris is a reference to Romeo's rival for Juliet's affections.

Disclaimer: The Twilight Series and all its characters, including Jacob Black, are the property of the amazing Stephenie Meyer. Enjoy the story!

Paris Falls

by Ichigo2491

My lungs are raw and my paws are bleeding. I've run too far, too fast. No, there's no such thing as too far or too fast. Not anymore. Not when I'm running from a pain that I just can't seem to shake.

I'm not sure how long I've been running. The sun could have set and risen again without my noticing, that's how caught up I am in my own suffering. I can't go anymore. I can hardly even breathe. For the first time in hours, I take stock of my surroundings. It seems like it's late afternoon, and I'm somewhere in the countryside. There isn't a farmhouse that I can see, but there is a small stand of trees on the other side of the highway, and I need somewhere to hide.

I run across the highway with my last spurt of energy. When I reach the trees, I collapse, panting heavily. My fur is matted and stained with blood and dirt. All my muscles ache. God only knows how long I'll have to stay here.

I close my eyes and let the breeze wash over me. I don't know where I am, and I don't care. With a heavy sigh, I fall asleep.

When I wake up, it's pitch dark. And cold. The pain in my paws has subsided to a dull ache, but as soon as I remember why I'm out here in the middle of nowhere, the pain in my heart comes surging back full force. My throat aches and begs for water. I've never been so thirsty, and for a moment the thirst takes my mind off my grief.

I sneak out of the trees, sniffing cautiously as I go. I don't want to run into any trigger happy farmers, though why I even care about my life at this point is beyond me. There's a small stream not far away, and I gulp down water like I've never seen it before.

On my way back the trees, I freeze. I smell people coming closer. I hear their laughter as they slip through the tall grasses. I want to run, but my muscles are too stiff and sore. The guy shines the beam of a flashlight on my hulking form. His girlfriend screams. He gives a hoarse shout and they both run.

I don't know who I really am anymore. I've never been more of an animal. But an animal can't feel like this. I've sunk lower than I thought I ever could.

I have to get out of here. The couple I frightened are probably calling the police right now. Even though my own life is worthless, I can't risk exposing the rest of the pack.

The Pack … my brothers … I left them behind too. At first I was fiercely glad when I could no longer hear their voices in my head. But now I just feel even more alone. I'm still only a kid, after all. A kid with a man's responsibility. A responsibility I'm ashamed to admit I failed.



I take off again. When I run, I have to keep my mind on where I'm putting my feet, and so I don't have to think about what a screw-up I am. I can't help it, though. I've pushed myself to the limit. I find an old, abandoned barn that looks like it might fall down at any second. I sneak in and stretch out and sink deeper into my melancholy. I'm not tired, but I need to give my paw pads a chance to heal.

I wonder what dad is thinking right now. I know he's probably worried, and I feel like a hunk of dirt. I think of Sam, Embry, Quil, and the others, and I know I really let them down.

But the one I let down the most doesn't even seem to realize how badly I failed her.

I failed Bella. I had two goals. One, I was going to protect her. I was going to show her the leeches were wrong. I was never, ever going to let them hurt her, or make her into one of them.

Second, I was going to make her love me.

The Pack has always had a duty to protect people from the cold ones. I would have tried to save Bella even if she were a stranger, and my failure to do would still have made me feel like crap.

But this is so much worse, because I loved – still love - her. I let the only girl I ever loved get dragged away by the bloodsuckers. This is all my fault.

There is something wrong with me. How else could this have happened?

I think the worst part of all of it is that Bella still cares about me. She told me as much. And she's like that… she's a caring person. That's one reason I fell for her. I'm sure someone's told her that I ran away. And I know that, even if she's with Cullen, she's thinking about me. She's worried. She hopes I come back safe. Because that's just the kind of person she is.

It would be easier if she hated me. If she turned to that leech in disgust with me, I could almost understand it. But she still loves me.

She just loves him more.

When the light hits my eyes, I know it's time to move on. But I can't go out like this in daylight. I focus my energy into phasing back into my usual form.

Nothing happens.

I take a deep breath and try again.

Nothing.

I bite my lip to hold back a howl of terror. What if I can never change back? What if I left Jacob Black behind me hundreds of miles ago? What if I'm trapped like this – a monster for all eternity?

I'll kill myself. I can't live like this. Not a chance.



I'm sorry I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Bella.

I breathe deeply, taking in the scents. I'm still too near the main road for my comfort. But there's plenty of wilderness I can run through. I still have no idea where I'm going, but I know I'm not ready to face my failure yet. I'm not going to stay in Forks to watch the parasite and Bella coo over place settings and centerpieces, or whatever else weddings involve.

Wedding… the word makes me want to tear something. I leave the barn and head for the cover of the woods.

It must be a week later. I've only been eating enough to keep me alive. I think I've run across the entire country. My ribs are sticking out from under my fur and I feel like a stray dog. I guess that's what I am.

What's the point? I might as well be dead now as ever. I've never had less hope. I've never felt so empty.

I eye the edge of the mountain slope I'm resting on. I can see for miles and miles around from up here. A leap from this mountain would spell death for sure.

I rise, tottering, to my feet.

Bella loves Cullen more than me.

I take a step. One.

Cullen is a vampire.

Two.

He's going to stick his teeth in her and turn her into a monster like him.

Three.

She's going to be cold and hard and evil. Her soul will be gone and she'll drink blood.

Four.

She wants this to happen.

Five.

I failed her.

Six.

I am a monster too, but not the kind she likes.



Seven.

I am a disappointment to everyone I care about.

Eight.

I'm just a stupid kid.

Nine.

I'm stuck as a wolf forever.

Ten.

No one could ever change that.

Eleven.

No one can help me now.

Twelve.

They'll be better off without me. I'm doing them all a favor.

Thirteen.

My front paws are planted on the edge of the cliff now. I won't look down.

Jacob Black would never do this. But like I said, l left Jacob Black behind a long time ago.

I close my eyes and think of warm brown eyes and full lips smiling at me.

I step off the cliff.

I fall.

I didn't think death was going to be this painful. My whole body aches. Worse than that, I feel like my skin has been torn like paper. I'm sticky with blood.

I can't focus my sense of smell, or anything else. I can't possibly figure out where I am or what the hell is going on.

I slump back with a groan … a human groan. Does this mean…

I try to open my eyes, but I can't. I pass out into merciful blackness.



"Oh my God!"

I'm startled awake by a girl crying out. I feel the vibrations as her hesitant footsteps pick their way towards my limp body. I struggle to move, but it's too much of a chore and I have to give up.

"Ellie, is that dude alive?" a guy's voice asks from nearby.

I feel a timid hand brush against my forehead. "Yes," says the girl's voice, "and I think he has a fever, Tad. He's burning up!"

"A fever's probably the least of his worries," the guy said. "The poor guy looks like he's been out here for weeks." The boy's footsteps came closer. "Hey, Ellie, he's an Indian!"

"Native American," the girl's voice corrects him. "Can you get me the first aid kit, Tad?"

"Sure, whatever." A rummaging sound, and then the girl says, "Thanks."

"He's pretty torn up," Tad says. "Don't you think we ought to call an ambulance?"

"And where, exactly, is the ambulance going to come from?" asks Ellie, suddenly sarcastic. "We're in the highlands now, and way off any of the main trails."

"My bad," Tad grumbles in a surly voice.

I feel something stinging my skin with a vengeance. I twitch and groan.

"He's coming around!" Ellie exclaims. Then in a lower voice she says, "Tad, can you look in your pack for an extra pair of pants?"

I suddenly realize that I must be naked. How embarrassing. The sting of humiliation takes my mind off the searing pain in my ribs.

I feel a cool, rough hand on my filthy face. "Hey," Ellie says gently, "can you open your eyes?"

I do, blinking frenetically to clear my vision. I squint into a clear blue sky with a bright sun. Toto, I'm sure not in Washington anymore.

A pair of cutoff jeans is pushed into my hands. "Do you think you can put those on yourself?" Tad asks. I blinked and saw clearly a ruddy faced boy, stockily built with reddish brown hair. He looked about fifteen.

I nod and get gingerly to my feet, pulling up the shorts as quick as I can. I look around, trying to familiarize myself with the forest around me, which isn't like the forests I know. But a fresh flash of pain catches me off guard and I stumble backward.

"Whoa!" the girl grabs me around the waist and steadies me to rest against a big rock. I feel like a wimp.



"Holy guacamole, you're tall," says Tad admiringly. "Seven feet?"

"Six foot seven," I grunt.

Tad whistles. "So how old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"So's Ellie! I'm thirteen. You look like you're twenty!"

"Tad," Ellie says sharply, "leave him alone. Or help me put Neosporin on these cuts."

"You don't have to do that," I tell her, "I'm a quick healer."

"Not from wounds like some of these," Ellie replies. I catch a flashing glimpse of reddish blonde hair as she bends over my back with the medicine.

I sigh heavily and rub a hand over my aching forehead. This is all too confusing. I look up and see the cliff I fell off of, towering higher than I even realized. How in the hell did I survive that?

"So what's your name?" Tad asks.

I actually have to think about that one for a second. "Ja-Jacob Black."

"Mine's Thaddeus Smith. That's my sister, Elaine Smith. We're camping. What are you doing up here?"

"Tad!" Ellie protests. "That's not nice manners!" Whatever she's rubbing on my back, it really smarts. I clench my fists against the burning sensation.

"But what happened to you?" Tad plows on undaunted. "You look like you got in a fight with a wild boar and lost."

"I, uh…. I fell off that cliff."

Tad looks up at the precipice and back at me with indignation. "What do you take me for, an idiot?" he demands. "If you fell off that cliff you'd be dead. You're tore up, but not THAT tore up."

"I was a while ago," I retort. "I told you I'm a fast healer. Besides, back at home I go cliff diving all the time."

"But not onto a bed of rocks, I bet," Ellie put in. I have a bad feeling that she knows I jumped, and for what purpose, but she doesn't mention it. "Let's get some medicine on your chest," she says, circling around me.

"I told you I don't need any…" Our eyes lock, and I can't make another sound. I feel like I've been punched in the gut.



Her eyes are green and her face is pretty, but that's not why I can't stop staring at her. I've never felt this way before. It's impossible to describe. I feel like waves are crashing over me and dragging me down under the surface. All I can see is this girl.

Suddenly I realize what's happening to me. I want to scream, to shake it off, to look away, to tell myself that it should have been Bella… but I can't. All I can do is look at Ellie.

So this is what it's like to imprint. I feel a tremor run through me, and Ellie notices it too. She doesn't know what I am, but I can tell she's going to figure it out.

These feelings are crazy. It's like love, but inflated and expanded and all-consuming. I've been attracted to girls before… this is like the pull of two high-power magnets.

I can tell that Ellie feels it too, even if she doesn't know what it means.

I still don't know where I'm going. But at least I know I won't be alone.

Fin

Thanks for reading, and please review!

You didn't REALLY think I was going to kill Jacob, do you?