This story is set in early Season 4 after Jane shot the fake Red John. Disclaimer: I don't own.
Disillusioned
It was evening in the CBI, another workday, another hard case. No matter what they did, no matter how hard they tried, the bad guys just kept on killing people. It was frustrating and it was exhausting. On some days Agent Lisbon was just tired of it all.
She had a nasty headache and still two more files to finish before she could go home. "Ah what the hell", Lisbon thought, took an aspirin and plopped down on the sofa. 5 Minutes rest would do her some good. It was late and she was the only one left at the office anyway. No one was going to see her.
Lisbon hugged the couch pillow and when she snuggled in, she started musing: "The couch Jane gave me really is quite comfortable. Can't believe he is being right again though. No wonder he's that smug". Then Lisbon realized that she was thinking about Jane. Again... Great, there really was no escape; it always came back to the one and only Patrick Jane.
"Just five more minutes…." Teresa told herself before falling in a soft slumber…
An hour later, Patrick Jane came down from the attic to make himself a fresh cup of tea. He walked slowly and midway between deciding whether to have green or red tea, he saw a dim light shining from his boss's office.
Jane forgot his tea for the moment and carefully opened Lisbon's office door to peek inside. He had thought she had gone home, but there she was: Lying on the sofa (his sofa) and sleeping peacefully. Quietly he went inside and closed the door.
He sat down next to Lisbon, was careful not to wake her. She really looked exhausted. Jane knew times were hard on her, ever since she got shot and he had killed Timothy Carter. Afterwards she just never completely recovered. Lisbon looked smaller, sad and vulnerable. Her damaged intensity was increasing. He had realized of course but just didn't know what to say or do to make it any better. He didn't want to lie to her. Not more than necessary, anyway.
His eyes were tracing her sleeping figure, recognizing her silky hair and her peaceful expression but also her thin figure and the black bangs under her eyes.
He looked closer; something about Lisbon was different now. She had lost some weight but there was something else. Something in her air… And then it suddenly hit him…Suddenly he understood.
Lisbon had given up on him! She had simply and quietly given up on the thought of stopping him from killing Red John.
The puzzle pieces were starting to set together and he considered the past events from her perspective: To Lisbon it didn't matter it wasn't the real Red John that he shot. He had killed somebody. And clearly wasn't even too bothered by it. Jane knew that Lisbon always had hoped that she could prevent this; either by getting Red John before Jane or by changing his mind.
This must feel like her own personal failure. She probably blamed herself now.
Jane hated that he only added to the pile of unnecessary guilt weighing down the petit woman's heart.
Lisbon moved in her sleep and her expression turned to one of anxiety. This moment the urge to hold her just got to big. Jane slowly and carefully took her in his arms. Her head rested on his lap, he was simply holding her.
The soft movement woke Lisbon up. Sleepily and with dazed eyes she looked at Jane without moving.
She hadn't felt that safe and comfortable in years. Their eyes locked, no one said anything.
Instead Jane gave her a small encouraging smile and started to hum quietly.
And after a little while Teresa's eyes fell shut again.
This is my first and probably only fanfic. I never realized before how much of their hearts authors put into their stories.