The sound of four valkyries soaring overhead in the frigid winter sky rang out. Hikaru's breath visibly expelled before him as his shoulders rose and fell a little more vigorously than usual. He'd ran there as fast as he could make it, just to see her... or, correctly, to finally catch up with her. There were heavy questions that demanded equally heavy answers.
It was Christmas, a day Hikaru and the majority of the recovering population of Earth should have been enjoying at home. Instead, it was tainted by suffering at the hands of Kamjin's clan who had devastated the industrial sector of New Macross City in their quest to secure a source of Protoculture. After his last defeat by underestimating his enemies, the Zentraedi tyrant was prepared this time. Not only did he find the generator to supply the power he needed for reasons that were, at the time, unbeknownst to the humans, he ensured his escape in violently successful style: Explosions rocked that part of the city as his fleet raced away from the raging fires and chaos left in the wake of the attack.
The military broke off immediate pursuit to tend to the devastating wreckage, attempting to save as much precious life as possible. Late into the evening, soldiers and volunteers tirelessly labored to douse the flames, transport the injured to hospitals, and reunite families torn apart; anything to provide the slightest bit of comfort for the victims of an act that couldn't have happened at a worse time.
Hikaru had been at it for hours since late afternoon until the screen before him illuminated. Shammy's face appeared.
"Commander Ichiijo, the next rotation is arriving now. Your squadron is cleared for return."
Something was gnawing at him and it only augmented every time he saw Shammy over the last few days. It wasn't particularly the young woman's fault although she was a bit flighty at times; instead, it was the person who was not present: Commander Misa Hayase.
Misa and he nearly always worked the same shifts in the past, her voice being the one to provide instruction and guidance to Hikaru and all pilots on duty. However, since the events of last week... that had all changed.
Hikaru knew he did something terrible to her: He stood her up. He knew she had feelings for him and even so, he left her sitting at a cafe outside all day in the cold, waiting to go on the picnic he promised her. But he didn't show up. Instead, Hikaru found himself responding to Minmay's request to meet him, but it had all gone wrong as usual.
That decision was one he strongly regretted because since that day exactly one week ago, Misa completely avoided any contact with him to the point of even rescheduling her shifts, it appeared. There was no contact, no way to communicate with her. Of course, she had reason to be angry, but now he was the one who was irate and it was for a much different reason.
The dark-haired pilot was a mixture of fatigued, angered, and confused as his blue eyes burned through the woman who stood nearly reluctantly before him. The SDF-1 was the backdrop to the scene, and the large circular pool it rested in glistened as snowflakes lazily drifted down from the night sky.
"Vanessa told me you were leaving. I'm glad I finally caught up with you," Hikaru declared to Misa's face with no attempt to hide the anger in his tone. "Why, Misa?"
She averted her eyes downward and turned her face to the water; even now, she hadn't said a word yet. Her breath was visible in the coldness, expelled through lips only slightly parted.
"Why wasn't I alerted as soon as the attack happened this afternoon?!" Hikaru exclaimed then. Balling his fists tightly, he raised them close to his chest as he continued his barrage against her. "I heard about it on the radio that a scramble was issued and when I asked Vanessa why the hell the bridge didn't alert me, she told me you said I was sick in bed! What the hell is that, Misa?!"
Her eyebrows furrowed then, lips opening slightly. The brunette's face showed absolutely no sign of the fury Hikaru thought he'd meet. Instead, she just seemed... saddened? Hurt? It was almost as if that fire eternally burning within her had been dampened to ashes. This actually caught Hikaru off guard and his features softened in the slightest. One of his narrowed brows eased up slightly into an expression akin to consternation.
"You should be more discreet when you have company," Misa replied. Her voice was quiet, face and eyes still off to the side.
"...What-?" Hikaru began to inquire, but he was interrupted by Misa.
She turned her face to him with her eyes closed as she spoke matter-of-factly, "I know. She's living with you now." Then, those lashes parted revealing her verdant orbs to the pilot finally.
The man's jaw loosened, his mouth opening but no sound coming forth. What she managed to speak left him completely shocked now, as a feeling of guilt and even dread swept over him. Looking directly into her eyes momentarily before she averted them down again gave Hikaru a glimpse of what the woman was going through on the inside. Indeed, it was guilt he was feeling now.
Minmay - a complete picture of desperation with tears streaming down her face - had appeared at his doorstep the last evening, begging to stay with him. Of course, Hikaru obliged; he wasn't the kind of person to turn away people he cared about. Or was he? After all, there he was standing with Misa in a heavy atmosphere his actions alone created.
Still unsure how to respond, Hikaru raised a gloved hand to his face, brushing it over his forehead and then up into his soft, wavy hair. Well, Misa's two sentence response explained everything about her actions as of late. It wasn't right what happened earlier and he was still put off by it, but to chide her for that now seemed likened to kicking a wounded animal.
He had wanted to apologize to her for what happened last week, but her perfect avoidance of his person stopped him from fulfilling that wish. To go from not being able to right his previous wrong to something even more hurtful...
Speaking of which, he wasn't rightly sure how she found out about Minmay anyway, as it still felt like a dream to Hikaru himself. He hadn't even had the time to process the implications of the singer's presence at his quarters, nor did he know how long she would linger.
As Hikaru searched for the words to say, the frame of the SDF-1 suddenly illuminated with soft colors section by section: the great ship had been adorned with Christmas lights which all now glowed warmly against the dark sky.
The pilot turned his face to the spectacular display, drawing in a deep breath of chilled air as the silence prevailed a moment more. It was then that Misa broke it by softly saying, "Merry Christmas, Ichiijo." as she turned on her heels.
Hikaru's bangs shifted over his eye and sprang back into position as he turned his head quickly, watching her walk off. He made no move to go after her, though the voice in his head told him to. Maybe all he needed to do was say something, anything; anything would be better than standing there in uncomfortable silence. Something held him back, however. He told himself that he wasn't sure what it was.
He knew though. He was confused by his own feelings. Misa cared about him; that much he was privy to. She had vanished out of his sight by this time and he found himself groaning. Worn out physically and mentally from the day, Hikaru leaned his right arm into that white railing. Suddenly, he just rolled his body to the left almost lazily, both elbows catching the top of the rail now and supporting his frame as he slouched down against it. Discouraging at times, this life. His face raised to the sky and a heavy sigh left his lips.
What just happened was Misa saying goodbye to him. And he did nothing to stop it. Surely it would have been different if Minmay weren't at his abode this very moment. But with that situation being true, what could he possibly say? Hikaru straightened himself out then, running a hand through his hair to shake off the little snow that had accumulated in it.
Minmay. She was waiting for him back home. This was what he always wanted, having someone to go home to... someone who cared that he survived his shift. His young years were spent longing for that person to be Minmay and that dream which he thought would never come true was now reality. But at the moment, he felt no happiness or satisfaction.
After adjusting his warm overcoat, he then fixed his scarf; it was a rich burgundy. The white one Minmay gave him with their initials sewn into it was currently in a box under his bed. That thought crossed his mind momentarily as he began his walk home with hands buried in his pockets. He shook his head at one point during the trip.