"Tasha," he pleaded, "please."
"Stop fighting it." I frowned. "You know this is how it has to be."
"Why does it have to be this way?"
"You're in the wrong business for this to go somewhere." I turned and walked away.
Our love affair started off simple, innocent. Small touches, kisses here and there, holding each other when we alone. It was more for convenience than anything else.
It was a secret, it wasn't even supposed to be something. But we were lonely and being with each other eased that pain. There was something about being in his arms that made me feel safe.
I kept hoping he would take up one of those offers and go for someone else. Someone who deserved him. He stayed with me, there was no one else for him.
After we took down Hydra and I left him in that cemetery, I told him to call the nurse. I wanted him to call the nurse. Oh, how I wanted him to call the nurse. Of course he never did.
When he found me the first time we fought. He said he wanted more. I told him no. Told him we couldn't. Wrong business for that. I left him standing there, no matter how much I wanted to jump in his arms and be held.
I packed my bags and took off. Of course he found me after a couple of moves. He hadn't found Bucky, but he was chasing me while he tried to find new intel.
We didn't fight this time, he never gave me the chance. He kissed me hard and fast. We stayed together that night and he held me tight. I was gone before he ever woke up.
He found me again a couple months later. The same routine. "What are we doing?" He whispered while playing with my hair.
"I don't know." I closed my eyes and imagined us together. In a perfect world we'd be able to be together. We'd have a swing on our porch. The neighbors would shout hellos as they passed. We'd have nice jobs, and we'd be happy. It wasn't a perfect world.
"Will you ever quit running?" He broke our silence.
"When you realize I'm not worth the chase." That ended us talking for the night.
I left as soon he fell asleep this time. Put a lot of distance between us. Hoped he got the memo.
He didn't. Three more rounds of cat and mouse. Three more nights I escaped before he could stop me.
The fourth time he found me on my way out. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know yet." I turned to look at him as I opened the door.
"Tasha," he pleaded, "please."
"Stop fighting it." I frowned. "You know this is how it has to be."
"Why does it have to be this way?"
"You're in the wrong business for this to go somewhere." I turned and walked away.
It was raining, someone in the motel had their music playing extremely loud. I could hear the words even.
There is not a single word in the whole world
Fitting. I kept walking.
That could describe the hurt
"Natasha!" He called and I turned
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth
"No, Steve." I called back. "I can't. We can't. We have to be done."
And ripping through the softest skin there ever was
"No, we don't. I don't want to be done."
How were you to know?
"Steve I can't. I can't let my guard down. I don't want to let you go, but I have to."
Oh, how were you to know?
He pulled me into his arms and took one of my hands in his, dancing to the rhythm.
And I, I hate to see your heart break
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
But I've been there before
And I, I hate to see your heart break
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
But I've been there before
As we danced in the rain I gave up the fight. I let him win. So I stayed. I didn't run away that time, or ever again.
Every chance we get to dance in the rain, we take it.