BPOV

I sat in the surf, letting the water run over my feet. My chest throbbed and acid pooled in the back of my throat. I missed Edward, I still could not fathom his leaving me. I wanted him here, to hold me and gently stroke my hair. Just to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I need that, to make this ache in my heart stop. Just to be able to breath again.

"How could you leave me?" I screamed as I pounded my fist into the sand.

"How could you not love me anymore?" I choked out.

The tears burned down my cheek and my throat felt raw as I gasped for air clenching my chest. I sobbed uncontrollably and threw myself backwards into the sand. Covering my face with my hands I screamed-a long pain filled scream. Screamed until my lungs felt like they would burst, until I could pull no more air to continue. Gasping deeply I threw my arms to the side and wept.

JPOV

"It's a good thing he wasn't around to see that he would have killed all the fun," I said with a chuckle as I rolled the bike back into the garage. She looked at me, her mouth half open her eyes searching my face for some reason for my comment. I instantly regretted it, "Bell-" I started as I extended my hand towards her. She jerked away from me, closing her eyes and raising her hands as she shock her head slowly. "Just don't touch me Jake," she said quietly.

I sighed, what the hell is the matter with you Jake? You just had to open your stupid mouth and ruin the moment didn't you. Couldn't resist being a jerk. Had to pull that card. "Bella...I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-" I started before her eyes shot open and she lunged at me pushing my chest with both her hands. I rocked back on my heels absorbing the blow and winced. Not because she caused me pain but because I caused her pain.

"Didn't mean to what Jake?" she yelled "Didn't mean to be a complete ass and bring up shit that you have no place to talk about?" "Bella-" I started before she threw her hands against my chest again, "No Jake NO! Don't even go apologizing or rationalizing it okay? I am trying to deal here. I am trying to function... I wake up everyday and I sob... sob because he's not there because I'm not good enough... and then I try to muster up enough will to trudge through my day.. just so I can go home and lay in bed unable to sleep... and cry again because I am alone... so utterly alone that it makes my skin crawl...and when I do have for a flicker of a semi-normal existence for even one second you have to go and think it's a good idea to ruin it by saying something as ridiculous as that! You go to hell Jacob Black just go to fucking hell!" she screamed as she turned from me and started to stormed off.

I started after her and reached for her arm, attempting to pull her into a hug. I would hold her there and tell her I was sorry and that she wasn't alone, not in the least. That I was there, that I would always be there and if she wanted I'd spend every night with her to make sure she fell asleep and would be there every morning when she woke so that she knew she wasn't alone and would never be again. But as I grabbed her arm she spun towards me, ripped her arm from my grip and pointed directly in my face as tears spilled from her eyes, "I told you not to touch me. Don't touch me again Jacob or a swear to God I will never speak to you again." She held her gaze on me for a moment making sure I got her message. I raised my hands away from her and took two steps back to reassure that I had heard her. With that she turned away from me and headed towards the woods.

I waited until she disappeared before turning away from her. I raked my hands through my hair and down my face and let out a frustrated growl. What the hell was I thinking? I knew she was in a sensitive place, a place that I couldn't understand, a place dark and lonely and yet I felt it was my place to go dragging the demon into the light. I had no place, no right. I deserved her anger, accepted it but knew I couldn't leave it like this. I had to find her, make her listen to me, prove to her I was sorry.

I started towards the woods, following her scent. It lead me through the thicket in a staggered pattern to shore. I stood there now in the shadows of the trees, cloaked in their darkness and watched her. Thought of approaching her and telling her that I was sorry for being such a jerk-so insensitive-and that I didn't mean to hurt her but that I understood that I had and that I just wanted her to forgive me. That I would let her go a couple rounds on my chest if it would help her to stop hating me. But as I prepared to entered the line of fire to salvage our friendship I realized that she was no longer crying, instead her eyes were blank, almost lifeless as she stared out into the water. She was thinking of him, this I could tell. Me and my big mouth had drive her off alone to the water to sit and think of him. Way to go Jacob way to fucking go! I watched as she sat motionless, deathly still against the choppy water that lay at her feet-she seemed to be completely lost, far out of my reach, as she no longer fought against the depression. Instead she allowed it consume her, holding it deep within her by keeping her knees drawn tightly to her chest. At that moment she didn't need to say what she was feeling I could see the pain picking apart her soul piece by piece, ripping through her and shredding any fiber of hope. As I stood there watching her allow the cannibalization of her spirit, I realized how deeply she was bruised and that she wasn't really getting any better, only better at putting on a show.

I wanted to kill him then, not because it is what my kind is suppose to do but because I could not allow anyone to harm my Bella in that way. I began pacing now, grounding away the dirt floor beneath my bare feet, as I contemplated what I could do to him. How I would kill him slowly and as painfully as possible-drawing it out in a manner which would cause immense suffering. Pulling him apart piece by piece and making sure he felt every moment of it.

My furious subconscious rant was cut short by Bella's grief stricken scream, "How could you leave me?" I watched as she slammed her fist beside her in the sand. Never, I thought I would never leave you. "How could you not love me anymore?" she sobbed and grabbed her chest tightly as though pain were radiating from it. Unthinkable, I will always love you. You are my essence- I responded in thought. She fell backwards and covered her sobbing face with her hands. She then let out a scream that ripped through me. A piercing scream as though someone had slammed a knife deep within her chest. The scream carried anguish and despair with it and when it ended she gasped for air, fighting to refill her emptied lungs. I couldn't stand in the darkness and allow her to be alone any longer-even if she didn't want me near her I would force it-I sprinted from the safety of the woods, desperate to comfort her. When I was near her I dropped to my knees and reached for her. I placed both of my hands on either side of her face, cradling it and wiping her tears away with my thumbs.

"Bella…" I whispered. She lay still for a moment, broken beneath my hands. "Bella…" I whispered again. She opened her eyes then, swallowing coarsely and looked at me.

"Jacob…" she breathed as she raised her hands to rest atop of mine and left out a staggered breath. "He's really gone isn't he?" she asked as she again closed her eyes.

BPOV

I lay shaken and broken in the sand, weeping for my lost lover. I was unconscious to what was going on around me, aware only of my inner pain. Engulfed in my loneliness, my desolation and his betrayal. His words rang through my head, "I don't want you Bella." It felt as though these words were new to me, as though he'd never spoken them to me before and they ripped through my chest all over again. Burned for the first time. My chest felt as though it was collapsing and I believed I must be dying- broken and alone on this beach. I welcomed death- called it's name. Take me, end this nightmare.

And that is when I felt the sun dance across my face, felt it's warmth calling me back from the darkness. Pulling me from the deepest parts of my pain and offering me some sort of release. Could I trust it? Would it heal me? Or would I be pulled back only to stand at the base of another mountain, alone and unable to draw the strength to climb it myself? And the sun spoke, calling my name in a whisper. A tone I knew but could not place. The husky allure of it peaked my attention. I smelt a woodsy. earthy mixture blended with the distinct smell of boy. It was my Jacob, my sun. Could he heal me? I asked myself again. Could he end this torturous battle within me. I was not sure, but against my better judgment I trusted his warmth and went to him. "Bella "he whispered again.

I opened my eyes, spoke his name and swallowed the acid that remained at the top of my raw throat. Raising my hands to his I looked into his scared, wounded brown eyes and spoke again, "He's really gone isn't he?" I asked although I already knew the answer.

"Bella…I'm sorry," he whispered as my hands fell from his. He rested his forehead on mine, his warmth radiated over my face soothing it. I opened my eyes again and met his. His gazed burned through me as it pulled the at the pain within me. I felt his warmth struggling with the ice that ran through my soul. Felt it grab a hold of it and rip it from it's home. But the cold would not give up so quickly, it fought against the warmth trying desperately to smother it. His warmth flickered and it seemed then that the cold had won. That the sun would lay defeated at the feet of winter. I breathed in slowly, breathing in his scent. It surged into my lungs, soothing the burning and I welcomed it. The warmth blazed then, ignited into a solar flare and at that moment I felt no chill. The sun had won this battle but had drained me in the process. I slide my head back and lightly kissed his forehead.

"Take me home Jacob," I asked in nothing more than a whisper as my eyes grew heavy.

JPOV

"Bella…I'm sorry," I whispered and her hands fell from mine. I wanted so much for her to feel the love I had for her. Wanted her to connect with my thoughts and see her the way I saw her. I rested my head upon hers, willing my thoughts to seep into her mind. Staring deeply into her eyes, searching for a glimmer of the Bella I had known before all of this, begging her to hear me. She gazed up at me, her eyes glassy and dim. She was still for a moment before she draw a steady and concentrated breath. Her eyes glimmered then, showed some spark of life as slide her head back and graced her lips across my brow. Had she heard me, could she know? Her kiss calmed me and scared me half to death I couldn't read it.

"Take me home Jacob," she breathed.

I straightened myself up and scooped her into my arms. Cradling her there for a moment as I kneeled in the surf. She nestled her face into my bare chest and whimpered. I kissed her hair and rose to my feet and walked slowly as she lay in my arms. I watched her as she nuzzled into my chest her eyes closed, her breathing steady. She looked so broken in my arms, so fragile and damaged. It broke my heart to see her like this made my breathing heavy and my temper hot.

I continued the subconscious rant from the wood line. Contemplated how I could make him experience her kind of pain but in a brutal, heartless way. Thought of watching him writhe in agony as I applied immense amounts of pressure to each limb of his body, working my way slowly around his torso, crushing his chest-and standing there as he attempted to breath, gasping for air like she had on the beach. I would save his neck for last, making sure he looked at me as I killed him, making sure he knew the face of the man who had ended his life. My muscles began to spasm at the thought of rectify this situation, I felt on the brink of losing control. I must calm myself, I could not phase now, not with her nestled safely in my arms. I concentrated on slowing my breathing, lowering my heart rate. Closing my eyes for a moment I thought of peaceful things- the ocean in the summer time, the wind whipping through my hair as I ran, sunsets over the water and of Bella:the most calming of them all. I look upon her now, limp in my arms and the shaking stopped. Anything that would cause her harm was not worth it, no matter how much I would benefit from my release.

I reached my house finally and spoke to her, "Bella… do you want me to drive you?" She stirred a bit in my arms, obviously lost somewhere in sleep.

"Bella," I breathed as I kissed the crown of her head.

She didn't stir this time so I slowly carried her through my door. My dad sat in the living room watching the game. He turned to me, "Jacob, what is going on? Is she ok? What happened?" he asked frantic and worried.

"She's ok Dad, not hurt. Well not in a physical sense. She's just drained… by all of it. She asked me to bring her home…I'm just gonna let her get some sleep in my room, when she wakes up I'll bring her to Charlie." I replied as I started to walk with her to my room. I laid her down on the bed, covering her up and sat beside her watching for a moment, she was beautiful when she was asleep-peaceful. I used my finger to brush her hair out of her face and studied it's serene porcelain structure. The slight arch of her nose, the rosy shading in her cheeks. The plump, pink lips that were parted ever so slightly so allow the air to flow in. God, I couldn't imagine harming her, I couldn't imagine leaving her, I just craved to be close to her-to mend her heart and revitalize her spirit. I knew she loved me, but could not see past the whirlwind that was Edward. Could not allow herself to love me back, that it hurt her too much. But that was okay, I could accept that and I would wait for the day that she realized that it was okay to love me, that we could live very happily together. That we could start a family, watch them thrive and grow old together. I kissed her cheek softly then, she stirred a bit as I rose to my feet and turned from her.

She shifted in her sleep and breathed, "Jacob…my sweet Jacob…my sun…" I paused and smiled to myself. She does think of me.

BPOV

I awoke wrapped completely in that familiar woodsy scent. It traveled through my lungs, making the my cells tingle. Jacob, I thought instantly as I smiled to myself. I reached out feeling in the air but found nothing. I was alone. I was stricken with panic then, thinking that I had imagined it. That Jacob hadn't found me, hadn't rescued me from the dark and that death was taunting me with his sweet aroma. Having a little fun with me before truly ending the suffering. I shot up and yelled, "JACOB!" I searched the pitch darkness for something familiar, anything that would signify his presence. I could see nothing. Oh God Jacob where are you. I need you Jacob, you are all I have left. Please, Jacob not you too!

He came barreling through the door, damn near pulling it from it's hinges, letting the light in behind him. His hair tasseled and his eyes showing signs of sleep. "Oh thank god Jacob," I breathed as he collapsed to the floor on his knees next to the bed. I threw my arms around his neck and tears streamed from my eyes, falling lightly onto his broad shoulder. I needed to hold him now, to ensure that he was real. To prove that I was not alone and that he had rescued me, that I lived because of him. I drew his warmth from him, pulled it into my body to remind myself.

"Shhhh Bella… I'm right here," he whispered into my ear as he stroked my back. He placed his palm on the back of my head and drew me into him as if he knew that I needed to feel his skin on mine. "I am right here," he whispered again. "I'm not going anywhere...not ever."

I exhaled with relief at his response, finding comfort in his knack for knowing just what to say when I was losing it. Oh God... he must think I've lost it, I thought as I realized how nuts I must look to him. "I'm sorry Jake I woke up and couldn't find you...thought I was all alone... and I got scared… well maybe just a little disorientated I think...I don't know... I just needed you to be here…but it's okay.. I'm okay now" I said as I pulled my self back and attempted to rationalize it out for him.

"Don't be sorry, It's okay… you asked to go home... but you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you... so I put you here... forgetting how dark it gets at night... and you woke up… and I wasn't with you.. I should have been with you… it's ok I'm here now… no worries," he said softly as he ran his thumb over my cheek.

"God you must think I'm a total freak Jake… I mean seriously, I collapse on the beach... and then I wake up screaming your name like a mad woman… god I am so sorry," I said wincing at my stupidity.

He looked at me confused, tilted his head to the side and leaned closer to me, "Never Bella… there is nothing wrong with you…"

"Are you kidding me Jake, I'm like a fricken basket case. Acting all insane, straight certifiable! Someone needs to take me to a nice white padded room, lock me up and throw away the ke-" he stopped me mid sentence by placing both his hands on my face resting his forehead on mine, like he had in the surf.

"No Bella. There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are grieving… and nothing is wrong with that and anyone who says differently doesn't matter."

I studied his eyes for some hint of doubt, but found none. He honestly understood and he meant every word that he said. How could he do such a complete 360? Go from poking fun at it to defending my lunacy. He was simply amazing- I decided- simply amazing and he loved me. Loved me in a deep way, a very selfless and compassionate way and he was willing to do anything for that love-even if it meant accepting the fact that his love was grieving the loss of another man. I was truly captivated by him. I grazed his lips with mine, felt their warmth and dragged in his staggered breath. He didn't kiss me back a first, he must have been taken aback by my advance. So I wrapped my arms around his neck, dragging him towards me, pressing myself into his bare chest. His hands found my back then and crushed my body against his, pulling me into his warmth. I felt his heat engulfing me, spreading through my veins like poison, burning up all frost that Edward had left behind. When the heat finally reached the hole in my chest I felt it surging in to fill it. I felt whole, for the first time since Edward had left and I felt alive, burning for Jacob.

With this my kiss intensified, carried more passion. I parted his lips with my tongue and met his. I felt his hot breath seeping into my mouth and I breathed his name, "Jacob."

JPOV

"No Bella. There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are grieving… and nothing is wrong with that and anyone who says differently doesn't matter" I replied.

She looked at me as though she was confused, perhaps doubting my response. I reassured her with my eye and pleaded for this all to end. I wanted her to stop pining for that filthy bloodsucker and to start living. Start experiencing life all over again, wanted her to let me show her it.

She brushed her lips to mine and my heart stuttered. Could she possibly be realizing the passion I felt for her? I was astonished and I didn't want to over react. Didn't want to scare her with my lust but she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her soft body to mine. There was no question now so I pulled her in and finally kissed her back. Pressing her chest to mine while my heart raced behind my ribs. I wanted to devour her, wanted her to feel the desire and passion I harbored for her- wanted her to fully understand.

I felt her tongue break the seal of my lips and welcomed it. She parted our lips slightly then and breathed my name. I couldn't resist it any longer, I had to give her a taste of how she made me feel and I wasn't sure if there would ever be a more perfect time to tell her. I slid my lips to her jaw nibbling and kissing my way up to her ear. "I love you Bella," I breathed. And I did love her, loved her more then she could know and I was natural, not forced. I loved her because it was what I was supposed to do. I was meant to do nothing other then love her.

She shuttered as my hot breath trickled onto her earlobe and she sighed, "I love you more Jacob."

I laughed then, unable to hold it back, "I don't think that is possible." I found her lips again kissing her more fiercely, biting her soft plump bottom lip and then gingerly licking it. She smiled then, "Oh but it is" she laughed.

I grabbed her by her waist lifting her from the bed as I stood, "No Bella," I said as she wrapped her legs around me. "No one has ever loved you like I do," I whispered tenderly as gazed into her chocolate brown eyes that for the first time in a long time danced.

BPOV

"Oh but it is," I laughed. I felt his large warm hand gripping the exposed skin at my waist. Felt the fire that burned beneath his skin and it sent a shiver down my spine. He lifted me clear off the bed and stood up locking his eyes on mine, speaking softly, "No Bella". I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched my back, shamelessly I wanted him. How could I? How could I be craving him? How did my chest not burn any longer? He spoke then interrupting my thought process, his whisper was husky and masculine yet very tender, "No one has ever loved you like I do."

The heat surged through me again bursting in my chest, left me feeling as though there had never been pain there, never been sorrow. I believed him-trusted his word and those doughy eyes that bore into my soul making it dance and sparkle again. At that moment I wanted him understand what he had done and to show him how he had healed me. I crushed my lips to his and pressed my hips forward. He laid me on the bed then, laying on top of me. I pulled his hand to my chest and placed it over where the hole used to throb. "It doesn't hurt anymore Jake… you've stopped the burning. I can breath, feel it?" I said a drew a deep healthy breath into the far corners of my lungs. He smiled at me and whispered "I do." I placed my hands on the sides of his head and drew his ear to my chest, "It beats… strong and unwavering now. Do you hear it?" He listened for a moment, "I do."

"That's you Jacob. It's beat is because of you," I whispered.