UNREQUITED LOVE

I meant to make this a one-shot, then I figured I'd break it into two parts, possibly three. I've been feeling a lot of emotion lately, and I find writing to be great therapy. It's been mentioned in previous stories that Terence once held hope for Lucy, so I thought I'd write something that shows just that. Read and review, but don't bother if you're just gonna flame me. I know my stories aren't the absolute greatest, and I won't force you against your will to read them.

Characters (excluding Terence) © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media

Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08

All rights reserved.

PART 1

They said that one was very fortunate to discover love; very rarely did one chance upon love twice. So it was with Terence, the tall, handsome boy with the shimmering white hair and beard, who was, in truth, a unicorn turned human.

He had encountered many women in his time, some fairer than others. As a unicorn, he was always intrigued by human girls, and he'd courted a few mares here and there. But it wasn't until he became human himself that he truly understood what real, honest love meant. Rhiella, a young human princess, was the one who unknowingly captured his heart. She was beautiful inside as well as out, and Terence loved her as he imagined no man ever loved a woman; such love rivaled the love Adam of olden time held for his beloved Eve. Yet, as it often happens, fate turned against them, and Terence now found himself alone in the world with an empty heart.

Whether his and Rhiella's paths would cross again in the future was anybody's guess; all Terence knew for certain was that his life would never be the same again, nor would he ever love another girl again, at least not in the same way.

Even in the mystical realm of Narnia, where he had genuine friends and felt at least some sense of belonging, he had eyes for nobody…save one.

Lucy, the youngest queen of the Four Monarchs of Narnia—there was something about her that caught Terence's interest, though he couldn't say what it was, or why.

She was so much like Rhiella, with her charm and wit, her childlike innocence, and it didn't hurt that she was quite attractive as well, with her slim, willowy figure, her mane of red-gold hair, and her sweet brown eyes. Terence remembered when she was just a child; but now, like a bud that ripens into a flower, she had grown and flourished into a lovely, mature young woman. Terence had always loved and cared for her with the warmth of an older brother (and a much, much older brother at that, considering he had well over a hundred years of seniority over her), but these days, he found himself looking at the girl in a different way. Though he initially tried to resist what he was feeling, he couldn't help it; every time he met with Lucy, he found his resistance melting, little by little, like thawing snow in the spring, until he couldn't deny it any longer. He loved Lucy—not with the same passion as Rhiella, but loved her all the same. He dared not tell her or any other living soul what he truly felt for her, but a tiny spark of hope had begun to take flame: hope that he might have found love again, that Lucy was the one to fill in that empty space, to put the pieces of his heart back together.

But did Lucy feel the same way for him?

Oh, there was no doubt that she cared very much about him, that she considered him a wonderful friend…but did she love him enough to return his love? Terence longed to find out, but he was afraid at the same time.

He was afraid—deathly afraid—of losing her, or having her laugh in his face or think him crazy.

He'd already had his heart broken once with Rhiella; he doubted he could endure having it shattered again.

One day, Terence came out onto the Cair's private grounds to find Lucy already there.

She didn't seem aware of him, or of anyone else at the time, for she was moving about in a dreamy, fairy-like dance, though there was no music playing, at least that Terence could hear. She seemed to be dancing to her own music, letting her heart and spirit take flight. Her long, sleek dress floated about her ankles in fanciful swirls; her silver tiara glittered like a wreath of stars, and her hair, which had been left loose, billowed in abundant crimson waves.

How lovely she was, Terence marveled to himself as he watched her. Although her beauty did not quite equal Rhiella's beauty, she still emanated a radiance of her very own.

Once again, those overwhelming emotions that Terence struggled to keep in check threatened to rage out of his control. Ah, if only Lucy knew, if only she could see for herself just how much Terence loved her, how much he wanted her.

Well, what are you waiting for? a voice from within seemed to say. Lucy is right there; now is as good a time as any to tell her. You haven't got forever, you know. Just say it and have done with it.

But what if she doesn't love me back? Terence protested silently. What if she turns me down? I don't think I could bear it.

It'd be worse to remain in ignorance like this, the voice countered.

Terence had to admit that was true. Not knowing at all was indeed worse, and yet at the same time, it served as a protective shield. In the end, Terence found himself walking toward Lucy.

When at last the girl opened her eyes and saw him, she was so startled that she jumped back and inadvertently stumbled on the hem of her dress. She would have fallen had Terence not rushed up and caught her in his strong arms just in time.

"Whoa—careful," he cautioned her as he upheld her.

"Sorry," said Lucy, immediately feeling herself blush furiously. "I can be such a clumsy fool at times."

"And yet you dance so divinely," he gently teased. He smiled down at her, his bright blue eyes twinkling like the sapphires they resembled, and she had to smile back. Using Terence as her support, Lucy regained her footing and straightened her posture. When Terence was sure she could stand on her own two feet, he released his hold on her. His countenance sobered as he now asked, "But, really, are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm all right," said Lucy. She flashed him a grateful look. "Thanks, Terence. What would I ever do without you?"

It made Terence's heart flutter slightly to hear her say that.

"May I ask what you're doing out here, Lucy?" he questioned at length as he absently pushed back his long white bangs from his eyes. Naturally, they just came spilling right back down.

"Oh, it was just such a lovely day, and I couldn't very well bring myself to stay in the castle." She sent back the question. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," he answered simply.

"Oh? What have I done?"

"Nothing," he never hesitated to reassure her. "Nothing at all. I only wanted to see you, what you were up to, if you were all right."

The young man paused momentarily, giving his lower lip a small nibble, then somehow found the nerve to say, "Actually, Lucy, there's something I have to tell you."

"Certainly," Lucy replied graciously. "What is it?" She folded her arms in front of her and centered her gaze on him, giving him her full, undivided attention.

Terence didn't say it right away, but lifted a hand to massage the back of his neck, as he often did when he was uneasy. "It's…it's…" He sighed. "It's hard to say, really."

"Come on," Lucy gently encouraged him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

The white-haired youth continued to rub his neck a minute or so longer, and dragged his hand all the way up over his face. When he finally dropped his hand altogether, he said, "I've been meaning to tell you this for some time, Lucy."

"What? Tell me, Terence."

In his heart, Terence offered a brief, silent prayer for strength. Lucy could sense his nervousness, and she reached out her own hand and laid it sympathetically against his shoulder.

Her light touch was what gave Terence the courage to loosen his tongue.

"I hope you don't think me stupid or foolish, Lucy…but…" He sucked in a long, deep breath, and finally those three strange and wonderful words came spilling out of his mouth: "I love you."

"What?" Lucy blinked, unsure of whether she'd heard right.

"I love you," Terence repeated, and somehow the words were a little easier to say the second time. "I wouldn't have believed it possible, Lucy…but I swear on my life that it's true." As Lucy stood there, staring at him in astonishment and disbelief, Terence went on, "You're such a sweet, extraordinary girl. You have the best heart of anyone I've met in Narnia, and you were always there for me when I needed you. Now, I want to be there for you." It took nearly everything he had in him to give voice to all this, but once he said it, he felt extraordinarily relieved, as if a massive weight had been lifted off his heart, while at the same time he felt incredibly idiotic.

A part of him was glad that he'd gotten it out at long last, while another part of him ejaculated, What in the Almighty's name am I doing?

Stunned, at a loss for words, Lucy could only stand where she was. Her hand slipped from Terence's shoulder and fell to rest at her side, and there she remained, as silent and frozen as a block of ice. Terence knew he'd caught the young queen off guard with his unpremeditated confession, but he expected her to brighten up and exclaim that she loved him too, or at least say something.

But nothing happened.

At one point, Terence dared to touch Lucy's face, cradling her cheek in his palm. Her skin felt soft and pleasantly warm beneath his fingers. Lucy did not shy away from his touch, but she still wouldn't speak.

"Please don't think any ill of me for this," Terence told her softly, his lucent blue eyes beseeching her. "I could never hurt you, Lucy, for all the world. I have no wish to harm you, or make you afraid or uncomfortable. All I want is to be with you, to take care of you. I know we're two different people, in essentially every aspect…but I love you and want you nonetheless."

Then, almost without realizing it, his lips were on hers, and he found himself actually kissing her.

It was a very light and mild kiss, but a kiss all the same.

The feel of their lips together made Terence keenly aware of just how long it had been since he was engaged in something like this. He felt his bowels fill to overflowing with sweet, aching longing, such as he had never felt since his time with Rhiella. Just as it had been with the other girl, the line separating fantasy from reality dissolved, and he began to kiss Lucy more heartily.

But then, quite abruptly, Lucy pushed him away, breaking off the kiss altogether and shattering the magic of the moment.

That was when Terence felt reality strike, with the force of an iron-clad punch. Seeing the look Lucy wore on her face, he feared to ask, "Lucy? What's wrong?"

"Terence…" Lucy faltered, her voice muted with disbelief, confusion, bewilderment, and a number of other emotions Terence couldn't quite pick out. "Terence…you…I…we can't…we mustn't…"

Terence felt his spirits sink, like a stone dropped into water, and he felt his heart start to crumble.

"Why not?" he protested, taking a step back from her, feeling suddenly very small. "You mean to say you don't love me? That you don't feel the same way I do?"

When Lucy had regained sufficient use of her tongue, she said, "Oh, I feel the same way, all right."

She hesitated for a time before saying in a faint, almost inaudible whisper, "But not for you, Terence."

Now it was Terence's turn to stand motionless, looking and feeling as though someone had just struck him hard across the face.

He couldn't believe what Lucy was telling him—that she was already in love with someone else. The young man could not bear to ask, but the question somehow found its way off his tongue: "Who, then?"

"Tumnus," was all Lucy said.

Tumnus. The image of the young faun, Terence's best and truest friend in Narnia, came to mind.

Tumnus was also very close-knit with Lucy—the two of them were the best of friends long before Terence came around—but Terence had no idea, would never have imagined that the girl's feelings for the faun went beyond friendship.

"Does he know? Does Tumnus know that you…that you…?"

"Yes."

Now Terence was feeling genuinely sick. His insides literally burned with humiliation and shame, and he bowed his head, unable to bring himself to look Lucy in the eye anymore. His lips tingled, and he now sincerely wished he had never kissed her in the first place. "I'm sorry," he said in a low, somewhat croaky voice as his eyes filled to the brim, as emotion closed his throat and his heart broke into pieces. "I…I didn't know."

Turning away from the girl, he murmured penitently, "Forgive me, Lucy. What happened just now…I promise it won't ever happen again."

To this, Lucy said nothing, so Terence just very slowly made way for the castle, feeling suddenly and inexpressibly weary, never saying another word, never once looking back.

When Terence got back to the Cair, Tumnus met up with him. "Hey, Terence!" Tumnus greeted his mate cheerfully, smiling brightly at him.

But Terence did not smile back, nor did he acknowledge the faun in any way. He only turned his face the other direction and kept going.

This caused Tumnus's smile to vanish at once. "Terence?" he called out worriedly. "Terence? Terence, wait—come back! Terence!"

Terence did not answer, nor did he stop.

Somehow, the white-haired youth managed to keep it together as he wove his way through the corridors of the Cair, at least until he reached his own room. There, after closing the door behind him, and twisting the key in the lock for good measure, that was when he lost it. Everything came down on him with full force, the oppressive weight nearly crushing him. A flood of tears broke out onto his face, and Terence bent his head and covered his face with his hands.

No, was the only logical thought amid his swirling mind. No…no…no…

He just couldn't believe it—couldn't believe it happened a second time. It was as though he had been stabbed, as though he had just lost Rhiella all over again.

It wasn't as bad as he'd feared it would be with Lucy; it was worse.

He had kissed Lucy, told her in the plainest way possible that he loved her, and she rejected him. He had given her his heart, only to have it destroyed anew.

Terence sank his face further into his palms, weeping harder. Was there any pain as great as this? Could fate really be so cruel?

Oh, that he had never told Lucy, never opened his mouth to begin with, then perhaps he could have gone on as before.

But now it was too late.

The cup had been spilled. The long-hidden secret was out. What was done was done.

Taking his hands away, though barely able to see due to the relentless stream of tears, Terence dragged himself across the room to his bed, where he collapsed onto the giant feather mattress. He groped for one of the pillows and pressed his face into its cool, soft depths. There he remained, for what must have been hours, sobbing out his grief, remorse, and humiliation, unable to contain himself, unable to stop.

TO BE CONTINUED...