azure;
In another world, another lifetime, Karma may have acquired a much greater deal of knowledge than he currently has.
In another lifetime, he may have known what the colour red was.
In another lifetime, he may have learnt what the colour blue was.
In another lifetime, he may have understood what love was.
But he doesn't.
Because he is a shark.
And sharks were colourblind.
A cat may look at a queen.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But could a cat love a queen? Nagisa was curious.
But he was no cat, for he was a seagull.
There was a difference between sharks and seagulls.
Sharks were colourblind. Seagulls were not.
Nagisa first saw red when his mother gets shredded into pieces by a motor.
It stains the water a beautiful red. It fades away in wisps in a matter of seconds just as his love for his mother fades away as quickly.
He does not mourn, but somehow, the water stills, as it grieves in his stead.
Nagisa sees something moving under him as the water laps at his feathers, tugs at his feet.
That something looks up and sees and dark shadow and a pair of feet.
Because Nagisa is not a cat, he dives into the ocean.
Even if it's only for a brief moment, he sees the waves, the sea wind and there's Karma, staring back at him. Everything's a magnificent blue, he notes, as the light ripples off Karma's smooth skin and glows a bit, just like the jewelry on some royal crown or something.
That sudden moment surprises him and his eyes widen. In that moment, two lives intersect, but neither Karma or Nagisa knows this.
The white foam chokes Nagisa as Karma circles around him, but the pale grey of Karma's eyes are the only things he notices. Nagisa was on full alert, his wings shifting ever so slightly as he watches Karma. The way his fin cuts through the bitter cold water and the heat that radiates from his body.
And in that moment, Nagisa just can't hold back as Karma leaves.
"What's your name?"
It's regrettable, Karma thinks as Nagisa opens and closes his mouth, because he doesn't understand seagull.
But nevertheless, he returns the next day.
He couldn't tell whether it was the ways his feathers seemed to flow in the water, merging into the waves, or whether it was the ways his eyes glinted under the sun, despite how monotone they seemed to him.
Or maybe it was simply the scent of blood that wrapped around Nagisa, tight as chains, or rather, a hug as an old friend might.
Today, he sees Nagisa in the same position, feet still kicking under the water.
Karma gives it a light prod with his nose and Nagisa pokes his head into the water.
"I'm here", Nagisa says, but he doesn't get a reply.
Karma is happy enough with just his presence. It almost brought colour to his life. Almost.
Is your sky blue or is it only my ocean that's like this?
Nagisa flaps his wings and opens his mouth once or twice.
Karma somehow understands this and follows him.
"Come with me", he says.
Karma is surprise that Nagisa isn't afraid of him as everyone would be. His eyes trace the silhouette of the seagull that's outlined against the surface and he really can't help but wonder why.
Because this would never work out. It'd always end in bloodshed.
Karma knows this from how he's ripped up countless bodies from his jaws.
Nagisa pretends he has no knowledge about this.
When the reach the surface of the sea, Karma hesitates a bit and Nagisa only settles himself on a piece of driftwood.
Karma's head cut through the water and the first thing he sees is a piece of black stretched over him.
"Look", Nagisa smiles and points his beak towards the direction he's facing.
Over the wave of black, shades of eventide wash across the sky and light from a mountain twinkle in the distance, until everything just disappears from the horizon in a very fine line.
Nagisa doesn't say anything and only watches Karma from the corner of his eye.
It takes Karma that long to realize that the ocean was never his.
And for the first time, he smiles.
If in the next life I could choose
Let me be a raindrop that feels no sadness
When Nagisa is not with him, all Karma can see are shades of gray.
It stretches into a never ending abyss.
That used to be his only fear.
It takes him that long to realize that Nagisa means so much for him.
The world is merely half sky and half ocean.
It gave Nagisa a gift called "wings".
They were inserted on his back.
He has never thought of their importance,
For they were constantly behind him.
He will never learn to appreciate that they were his only source of freedom, from the base of his humerus to the very tip of the black-brushed pristine white feathers that sprout from the tip of his wings.
The only wing he'll ever admire is Karma's. The way it slices under the water without a sound, breathless and silent.
It's a shame his ignorance is cut short.
The brittle wire of net cuts right through his feathers and he's being dragged down into the ocean along with the weight of all the other seagulls. There's nothing but a cacophony of screeching and the muffled sound of wings flapping as the net cuts even deeper in to Nagisa.
In the depth of his desperation, he only sees at what is Karma's sky.
And yet, the only thing he notices is that it's just another shade of blue.
Nagisa's mouth opens and closes and pictures of Karma flashes in his mind.
"Save me"
The sea remains silent he can only watches as the bubbles flow out of his mouth.
"Karma, save me…."
Time ticks by, slowly, and as sudden as always, Karma appears as quickly as he goes.
"Nagisa…hold on."
The wisps on red are the only thing Nagisa notices as Karma bites through the wires. It cuts into that unblemished skin of Karma's and it's becoming more of a harsh gnawing as Nagisa struggles to breathe.
It doesn't take long and the net breaks in a matter of moment, the free ends entwining them over Karma.
The next thing Nagisa sees is Karma splattered in blood, a spear protruding from his chest.
His eyes open in surprise.
Struggling and crying was insufficient to express the pain he was of that moment, so he chose to suffer silently.
The next time Nagisa sees Karma is when he's mercilessly thrown back into the ocean.
It takes him that long to realize that his fins are missing before the water clouds into a bloody haze.
It's not his first time he's seen something like this done by those damn humans, but Nagisa can only scream and scream, of a name that will never response to him again.
The bubbles revolve around Karma when he hits the water. They release their grip and struggle to the surface of the ocean and leaves just Karma, sinking down into that void of emptiness.
And in that single moment, Nagisa falls with him.
Karma's probably waiting for him.
終
a/n
i tried, really.
reviews make me want to write
constructive criticism are good too
(fic inspiration from old xian's "the specific heat capacity of love")
~Ichiro