Me in KP
Remember that KP episode where Kim, Ron, Drakken, Shego & Rufus get sucked into Drakken's TV? Well, I figured…what if that happened to me? And what if the show was Kim Possible?
I had fun with this. Even if I'm being realistic [as realistic it can get].
So, I'm doing my homework, and the next thing I know everything goes dark, and I'm not holding my books anymore. The only thing I was concerned about, then, was 'What the heck is going on?'. But this was only for a second. Then, I was on a field. It was like a valley, slightly hilly and beautiful thick grassy landscape. There was also several holes with tall flags sticking out of them-I was on a golf course.
Oh…and one more thing. My surroundings were cartoons. i looked down at my hands-I had cartoon hands! What the hell was going on?
The air was cool and slightly windy and misty. It kind of felt like how it does just after rainfall. I thought I could faintly hear the crashing of waves. Was there a beach nearby?
Just then, the ground started to rumble. I never experienced an earthquake before, so it was a pretty strange feeling. I lived in New York. At first, I tried to convince myself I was in a dream, but then I figured it couldn't be for 2 reasons. 1, I could see and feel things-it was too real to be a dream. And 2, usually my dreams are waaaay too weird-and this, compared, was normal. And this short earthquake just convinced me the reality even more.
Large, tall, thick metal pole-like-things broke the dirt and perfect grass, arising from the ground. It was too bad that nice landscape was ruined. On top of the metal poles were GIANT ACTIVE lasers…pointing at me. what the heck did I do?
Its strange I didn't mention this before, but there was a giant medieval looking castle in the background…obviously, I figured, I was on someone's property. But who has giant lasers all over their lawn like they're replacing the sprinklers? AND WHY THE HECK ARE THEY POINTING AT ME?
I tried moving, but they just kept following me. Ugh. Seriously…what was this? Where was I? why am I being attacked? Who was attacking me? And why…OH WHY….was every aspect of REALITY completely ripped of my existence! How is it that I am a living animation…it isn't possible.
The one thing I learned in life is that you cant go around complaining and asking questions. You just have to accept things as they are and deal with it. I didn't care about the cartoon part. But I still wanted to know who was attacking and why….and where I was in this…cartoon world. I actually always wanted to be a cartoon. Maybe my wish has been granted? I wanted to see what I looked like. As to where I was…it kind of looked like Ireland or Scotland or something.
Just then, a short, almost stout man with dark circles and a red beard, wearing a kilt, came sauntering over to me.
"Duff Killigan?" I shouted in surprise.
Good garden party. I was in the Disney television show Kim Possible. I wonder what season?
"Ay, so you know of me?" he said in his seriously thick Scottish accent.
Well…this certainly opened doors for me.
"Yeah, yeah, sure…world's deadliest rogue golfer, and…stuff…" I mumbled.
"So what ye doing on me property?" he inquired.
I made a face and looked around me, mainly at the sky. "You know I don't…really….know"
"What dy'a mean ye don't know?"
"I don't know I just appeared…here."
"D'you have amnesia or something?"
Amnesia? Hmm…this might work out nicely.
"Suuuuuuuuurrrrrreee I do…" I said.
Duff raised an eyebrow.
"Well whats the last thing ye remember?" he asked.
"Well…" I looked to the sky again, then looked back to my animated hands. I heaved a great big sigh. "I was doing work, in my basement, and then I was here."
"Well where is ye basement?"
"Uh…New York?"
"You came all the way from New York?"
I shrugged. "Guess so."
It was silent for a few moments. Duff was glaring at me suspiciously. I had a questioning expression.
"What's ye name, lassie?"
"Andrea." I said. "Andrea Churchill."
He looked at me, contemplating. He sighed. Then, he walked away from me going back to his castle.
Hesitantly, I followed him. He didn't seem to mind. He was murmuring some unintelligent stuff all the while. We passed the giant metal lasers, through the (once) beautiful golf course. They didn't follow my every move anymore. Well…this was a good start. I guess I'm off the death list for now.
We entered the castle; I guess you could say it was a Scottish themed, medieval, dark…it was full of plaid, stone, fireplaces, a smelled like bad cooking…like…meat…or, mutton and stew…or something…whatever that is.
"Charming décor…" I quoted Skinner from my favorite movie, LXG.
"It's cozy." I commented, indicating the castle. It was pretty cozy looking…and warm, with all that plaid and darkness and the fireplaces…
'oh yeah.' I thought. 'I could so take a nap here.'
Mm. yeah. I can get used to this.
"So what else do ye remember?" he asked as we were both inside, the doors closed behind us. Being sealed off from the outside world in the dark with a rogue golfer made everything seem much more…eerie. But I didn't mind. He was duff Killigan. unless I was threatening to thwart his evil golfing plans, he wasn't going to attack me…at least I don't think so. I was perfectly comfortable with him…sort of.
"Well, I can still remember who I am, and everything, its just the 'how I got here, on your island' part I don't…remember." Sheesh. He probably thought I was on a hangover, or something, and somehow ended up here after a crazy night of random drunk…en…ness. I don't know.
"Do you have anyone you can call, or something, lassie?"
"Uh…" You know, I doubt it. If I was in the TV show, Kim Possible, in the middle of Killigan's island, I wouldn't think the real world was part of this…this 'dream-like-situation. "…no, I don't have anyone to call."
I took a deep breath, and I took the risk I've been waiting for.
"Can I stay here? You know, until I figure out some…stuff. Like, what I'm doing here?"
Pssh. Yeah right. Like I'm actually going to attempt that. I was having fun.
"Are you daft, lassie?"
"No."
"You want to stay in me castle? With me! Duff Killigan! World's deadliest rogue golfer-!"
"Yeah, yeah, look-I'll do whatever you want. I'll help out cleaning the castle, or cooking or…or I'll be your caddy or sidekick or something!"
He contemplated the thought.
"Hmm. I suppose I could use the extra hand…alright, lassie! You've got yourself a deal!"
I extended my hand. We shook.
"Right, thanks. And don't call me 'lassie'. its too informal. I feel like that stupid dog from that movie. Call me Andrea."
"All righty then." He looked slightly confused. But only slightly. We released hands.
"So what's your latest work, Duff? What are you up to now?"
He started telling me of his first ever plot to build his own personal golf course with his invention of fast growing grass, looking for a microchip (and, naturally, he must have attempted to use the Time Monkey with Monkey Fist, Drakken, and Shego, but of course he wouldn't remember it). I estimated to be in Season 3 somewhere.
"And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for Kim Possible!"
Scooby-Doo much?
"Oh true, I've heard of her too…" I didn't really know what else to say.
"But you don't have anything new schemed?" I asked curiously. didn't he also try to kidnap that snack guy? But if I was in season 3, it wouldn't be for a while…or at least I didn't think so. I couldn't remember any other plots Duff might have did. He wasn't that active of a villain in the show. He shook his head like I expected. I sighed. I kind of wished for a little bit of action. Maybe I could convince him later.
He showed me to a room where I could stay. It had a very big 'villain' vibe to it. It still kept the castle's Scottish theme-there was a lot of green plaid, and there was a lot of stone and metal, I think maybe chrome or steel. It consisted of a bed, a TV, a dresser, a mirror, and a small bathroom.
Alright…so…what now?
I found the remote and turned on the TV. Agony County was on…I don't know how I knew that.
"I like it when you hurts!"
Ugh. Repeat. And what is it with the bad grammar?
I ended up watching the episode. It was stretched out on the bed, watching the TV above.
The episode was pretty emotional. I was getting into it. After a couple of hours though, of watching television, Duff knocked on the door.
"Dinner is served, lassie." he called.
"Ahem!" I said, loud enough for him to hear through the door.
"….Andrea." he said, corrected.
"Thank you." I called. "I'll be right down."
I shut off the television and left the room.
Now, I've smelt some pretty weird stuff in my lifetime. But the aroma dancing around in the air right then and there could have killed someone. What the hell were we going to be eating, exactly? Rat poison?
I reached the kitchen. Duff was stirring in a pot.
"What are we…eating?" I asked wearily.
"Ay, me grandma's famous cow liver stew."
Now. Now, now, now, now, now. I can eat lamb and cabbage stew. I can eat meat cakes and fishcakes. I can eat reindeer and game sauce. (I'm Norwegian) But cow…liver…stew?
"Sounds deliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicious." I said sarcastically.
I sat down. The table was already set with simple bowls, cups, and spoons. He slopped a spoonful of…stew in my bowl. I gave a slight whimper.
He served himself and put the pot back on the stove. He sat down and began eating, all the while looking at me expectantly.I slowly placed a spoonful of stew in my mouth. I waited for the taste to come. It….it….it…it…!
"It's really not that bad." I said.
I was in AP English. When reading books we usually look for symbols and foreshadowing in certain scenes just like any other class…
I almost felt like this scene, eating cow liver stew and actually liking it, feeling comfy and casual eating dinner with Duff Killigan…it was possible foreshadowing, maybe, for a future here…
"I was thinking about your offer…Andrea…on your repayment. You mentioned about being a sidekick."
Oooooooh!
"Tell me…do you have any criminal experience, do ya?"
"Well…yes and no?"
He was going to ask me what so I just took the easy way out-
"No…but I'm a quick learner and I have a heart of stone."
"Good. Because I was thinking of that you could help me…"