Moving On (KxS)

By: IET

Chapter 1

Shika's POV:

We've been together somewhere around 5 ½ months now; Neji and I that is. He treats me like a treasure, something to be coveted and I suppose that I am with the secret that has been passed done like a bloodline trait. The sex of course was great but it almost felt empty now, like there was no emotion in it, no love behind it. I got the feeling that he's hiding something. It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I realized what it was. Or to be more precise, who it was…Sai.

Yes, I knew about Neji going behind my back and cheating on me for 3 months out of the 5 ½ that we were actually together. But he smiled more and, back then, it seemed like that was all I needed to carry on and could ignore the reason why he smiled and who it was really for but when he started getting distant… that's when I started to reach my breaking point. And I realized that no, I could not simply ignore that my lover loved another and was seeing him not-so-secretly behind my back. But I knew.

I knew, and I still couldn't give him away when I found out. That's why today, staring at the clouds, I realize I've been incredibly selfish and I just want him for myself, to keep my secret safe… But mostly I was just being selfish. I've realized that keeping him away from who he really loves will just end up destroying us and when everything is said and done we'll hate each other; that was something I wasn't willing to risk happening.

I'm as certain as I can be that Sai knew about Neji and me before they started anything because it wasn't like Neji and I tried to hide it. So he went into the relationship eyes wide open and he still went through with it. I could say I'm angry at him but truly it's myself that I hate for not seeing it sooner, for not being enough to keep Neji faithful.

A memory popped into my head at the thought of hate. It was of when my parents found out about us. It was after the Hyuuga clan actually accepted me and I thought my parents would have the same openness that Lord Hiashi had. I'm sure my secret helped with reassuring that Neji's prodigy ways would be carried on and that was the only true reason that our relationship was accepted so swiftly. It isn't like I could've hidden my secret for very long as Neji had so kindly pointed out that my chakra was an abnormally dark navy blue instead of the typical light sky blue of the average ninja. Therefore, I had to explain because they had already been jumping to the conclusion that I was tainted in some abnormal way, which I suppose I was –am- tainted.

Anyway, the Hyuuga leader and elders thought that even though I was male, my family trait was a great asset to the clan and in turn conceded to the relationship. But my parents did not; oh no, not by far. They even went so far as to disown me, their only son. Just thinking about that not being worth the relationship I was in made my heart seize painfully and tears well in my eyes. The thought was still too painful, and at this point everything seemed to be overwhelming me. I felt a shift in my chakra that I was all too familiar with and knew that I had to get a move on if I was going to beat my anxiety ridden curse from revealing itself to the whole village.

My thoughts came back to the present with that pain and became even more scattered than usual. With a sigh that only the melancholy broken-hearted could manage I pulled myself up trying to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to do. I knew Neji had someone to fall back on but I had no one, no one that could sweep me away into a whirlwind romance that wouldn't ever exist for me anyway. The only ones now left by my side was of course Chouji and Ino, whom I haven't really talked to in a long time since we all got involved with our respective partners, and then there was Kiba…just thought of him brought a pained smile to my face and I thought with a grimace that maybe, just maybe, I would survive this anyhow.

I made my way down the hill in the direction that I could feel he was and headed that way to confirm once and for all if it was true and to prepare Sai to catch Neji even though I knew in my heart and my head that he already had before I even had the chance to let go.

Neji's POV:

I had a feeling that Shikamaru wanted to tell me something, or maybe it was just me feeling guilty about keeping Sai a secret from him. I never wanted to hurt him but I couldn't help falling for Sai the way I had. He brought a new freedom into my strict world with unbending rules, a freedom I never had even when that world was more Shikamaru-centric…who I haven't been able to call by his nickname since I started my other relationship with Sai. It just didn't feel appropriate addressing him with a pet name made out of fondness and love when that no longer existed in the relationship. I sighed at that thought; I had really screwed him over on this one. But I was pretty sure he had been asleep when I snuck out to go see Sai so I doubt it was that…I wonder what it could be, and here I thought I was able to read him so well…

3rd Person POV:

"Sai," Shika said walking up to aforementioned person, a solemn look upon his face.

"Shikamaru," Sai said turning to face him with a cattish smile on his face. "Did you need something?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you…privately…" His emphasis on the last word caused a shift in Sai's facial expression as it dropped into something that resembled inquisitive blankness. Sai seemed to take in each minute detail of Shikamaru face before his face tightened as if preparing for a battle.

"I see, so you know…" The statement was general, but its meaning did not escape Shikamaru's intelligence. He offered a stiff nod before he cleared his throat to speak.

"Take care of him…" And he walked away at his usual pace, though there was a tension in his shoulders that had not been there before, or had at least been less noticeable before.

When Shikamaru arrived at his and Neji's, for now anyway, apartment Neji felt the atmosphere shift into a tense one as Shika washed but did not sit at the table; instead he stood stiffly leaning in a faux relaxed pose against the counter with his arms crossed as he watched Neji empty the cartons of Chinese food onto each plate before turning around and handing him the plate and a fork, or tried to. When Shikamaru did not accept the food, he knew right away that something was wrong; he had ordered Shikamaru's favorite after all.

"Are you okay?" he asked setting his own and Shikamaru's plate back on the counter and crossing his own arms.

Shika smiled tightly before whispering something so gently Neji only just barely caught it but that did not stop Neji from uttering an astounded 'what'.

"I said pack your things, you're leaving."

"You-you're throwing me out? Why? What have I-…" Neji trailed off his eyes meeting the knowing glare boring into his eyes. "You know, how?"

"Did you really think I was naïve? Did you really think I was asleep all those times you snuck out our bedroom window to go sleeping with him? Did you?" He was angry, and for anyone who knew Shikamaru they knew that was one hell of an accomplishment. When Neji spoke to protest, he was interrupted by a defeated sigh.

"Just… don't, Neji, just don't even try, okay? Now…, Neji, I believe you should go pack your things." Neji's jaw loosened into a drop of shock at that. Neji couldn't believe that Shikamaru was honestly throwing him out without giving him a chance to find some place else because he knew for certain he was not going back to the Hyuuga compound no matter how understanding they had been. He knew they would be utterly disappointed at the loss of such an "asset" as Shikamaru was to the clan but he knew they would be even more outraged at who he was replacing Shikamaru with. At the clearing of Shika's throat he realized he had gotten lost in thought and brought his eyes up to Shikamaru's face from where they had fallen onto his own hands.

Shikamaru had only one more thing to say before he left again and so just got it out in the open. "He's waiting for you…" He didn't need to say more because Neji only needed a few seconds to realize what exactly Shikamaru had said and the smile that bloomed on his face physically hurt Shikamaru to see so he turned away and left before Neji could say anything. But he did not leave fast enough to miss the thank you that was whispered as he exited the door and transported away back to his secret hill, not his favorite but it would do since he did not want to be found.

Neji didn't know how fast things spread around the village until he was standing outside Sai's door with his two suitcases and seen Chouji, Ino and Kiba approaching him with fierce scowls on their faces. Neji's stance tensed as they stopped a few feet in front of him preparing to go on the defensive if necessary.

However he was not prepared for the stinging slap that met his cheek or the sight of Ino shaking her stinging hand in turn, if it had happened to anyone else it would have been amusing. Chouji was holding back Kiba, who for once was without Akamaru, and looked like he was ready for the kill; he was lunging at Neji ready to tear him to shreds but the sight before was far more intimidating and Neji realized that this was the act of a lover who hadn't admitted to his loved one that he did in fact love him. The hateful scorn in Kiba's face was reproachful, the stern set of his jaw painful, and the clenched clawed hands were shaking in anger; it was in this instance that Sai chose to open his door his expression nothing more than his usual pleasant inquiring face at the killer intent changed to an honest smile when he seen Neji before turning into a protective glare prepared for anything from the ones before him.

Ino took a deep breath but it was clear it would take a lot more than that to calm her down as she spoke, rage shaking the high timbers in her voice. "I hope this was worth it, both of you." And with that she shot one last glare at Neji and Sai before turning to her companions and with a look they all took off wondering if they'd be able to find their friend today or if they would have to wait for him to come out of hiding. There were only three other times where there had been enough emotional distress for Shikamaru to disappear for days on end and only showing his face when he was needed on a mission. Not even their leader knew how to find him when he didn't want to be found; only knowing that when he was needed on a mission, somehow he knew and would be there.

The first time he disappeared was when he first found out that he had some… abnormity that was a family trait that skipped every two generations. They didn't know what it was, just that finding out about it caused Shikamaru to disappear for a week. The second time was when Asuma died and that was by far the worst time period for the three man squad. Shikamaru had dropped off the face of the earth for nearly six months, struggling to cope with the only parental figure he'd had his whole life because they all knew his parents had him nearly shunned when they discovered whatever was wrong with him. The third and final time he had only disappeared for two or three days and that was because of his parents disowning him completely because of getting together with Neji. Not only could they not accept him and what they seen as a deficiency but they also couldn't handle the fact that their son was also gay. They each shared a look before they split up, fearing that this time Shikamaru might not recover.

Sai and Neji however had no idea what the panicked look was about that they had all shared before darting off but they had a suspicion that it had to deal with the lost lover and friend. With a shrug, they pushed it to the back of their minds as they each grabbed a bag of Neji's and moved him into his lovers home.