"I just don't want her to be sent to the Colonies. It's a favor to my wife." Muldoon looked at Fred Waterford earnestly.

"This woman, she's a homosexual, is that correct?" Fred tried not to wrinkle his nose. "And somewhat mentally ill?"

Muldoon wiped his forehead. Fred could tell that the man was somewhat intimidated by meeting a big muckety-muck, and for Fred Waterford, who had been a public school math teacher before marrying his brilliant anti-feminist authoress, it was exhilarating.

"Well, Mr. Waterford-"

"Commander. It's what all my friends call me." Fred tried to smile.

"Yes. My wife Shannon, she grew up in a good Christian family, and Dodie, the older cousin, rebelled back in the 1970s, and was a lesbian activist-truly revolting. But Dodie came back to Shannon's family, and said she wanted to be cleansed of her same-sex, Satan-inspired desires."

"Well, that's very good, but I don't know if we really need a woman who doesn't cook, she'd make a terrible Martha-what are her skills?"

"Dodie used to drive a school bus for mentally challenged children, but she was fired for assaulting one who used the Lord's name in vain-almost broke the boy's neck. Shannon's family got Dodie out of that one...but she is easily frustrated."

What a gem, Fred thought. A mental case.

"Shannon tells me that Dodie's primary resentment is that she was rejected by the lesbians she wanted to emulate-not a pretty girl- and when she came back to the fold, she still had the desires. And sometimes when a young woman, particularly an attractive one annoys Dodie, she'll attack."

"Really?"

"Yes, we were at a carnival in line with the kids, and Dodie slapped an adolescent girl standing behind her because she didn't like what the child was saying."

Muldoon leaned forward over Fred's desk. Fred tried not to wrinkle his nose. Why don't Gilead men bathe more?

"Look here, Commander. Dodie loves Gilead, and she's interested in working within our system. She has two years of college behind her and if she can just control herself around the young women-"

"To not attack the provocative ones?" Fred's eyes began lighting up a bit.

"Yes. But she is desperate to volunteer. Shannon says that it is the best way to divert her perverse desires."

"Perhaps we could use her, somehow."

"But she wants to go by Lydia."

"Lydia? You mean, while working for us."

"Well, her name is Dorothy Lydia, and she's always been called Dodie, and I'm afraid she was never taken terribly seriously by the family so-"

"I guess, yes, I can interview her."

Muldoon looked earnestly at Fred Waterford. "Well, she's sort of in a pickle. She is in a straitjacket just now, Dodie-er, Lydia is, at Bon Secours hospital in Baltimore. It's a long story. You could get her out of her legal difficulties?"

"Why not, Muldoon-your first name is Jerry? Sure. We'll drive down and do it. Have you seen these electric sticks? They're used to quell Falun Gong practitioners in Red China. Smaller than a cattle prod. Easier to manage."

"I'm so glad you'll help me, Fred."

"Commander. I'm Commander Waterford, Jerry."

"Yes sir."