Author's Notes: Ayame here, trying a first bit at X-Files writing that I haven't done in a long time! Anyway, I never used their names for my own personal reasons, I wanted to make the scene more intimate. I think it worked, maybe you wont. Oh well. Anyway, post your reviews, like or hate, however you feel. Oh yeah and I don't own any of the characters or the song by Howie Day "Collide", (disclaimer bs… ack) Anyway Enjoy
Collide
It was late. Her mind was reeling over the events of today. She couldn't believe that he would do that to her again. Just leave her in the middle of no where to chase a deranged killer into the deepest, darkest part of a nearby wooden park. What was he thinking? Did he enjoy making her worry about not only her safety but more so his. After seven years of this she should have been used to it but her thoughts had become harder to control.
Thoughts of what?
Her mind drifted from away from the complete annoyance to the adolescent imagines that clouded her eyes. She knew it for years but somehow managed to keep a professional demeanor around the man that sent chills down her body every time he simply touched her. It was amazing what placing his hand on the small of her back would do to her. Suddenly that was becoming harder and harder to do.
'Why do I think this way?' she silently asked herself. Frustrated with the fact that her partner was the only thing on her mind and was weighing heavily at that, she grabbed the remote control on her night stand and pressed the power button. Her CD player across the room tuned to one of her favorite radio stations. It played sappy love songs almost continuously.
She lay in her bed for a while, listening to the romantic words fill the once silent room. Suddenly a song came on the radio that she had never heard before. The announcer introduced the song as "Collide" by a rising music sensation known as Howie Day. The music was beautiful but somewhat familiar.
"The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
Your barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah
I'm open your closed
Ruffle your coat
I worry I wont see you face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhythm.
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I finally find that you and I collide"
She smiled at the lyrics and realized that she was thinking once again of her platonic relationship with the man of her dreams. Little did she know that across town her knight in shining armor was thinking similar thoughts.
He couldn't sleep. But that wasn't something new to his life. He was always a light sleeper, if he slept at all. Most nights, when he and his partner weren't on a crazed wild goose chase, he lay in bed at night thinking about the one person in the world that made him whole. She was everything to him and the thought of telling her that scared him to death.
He was mostly afraid that she would leave. Ever since their second year together he became accustomed to the thoughts that invaded his mind at all hours of the day. He absentmindedly thought, 'At least it's consistent.' How ridiculous was that. He was already berating himself for thinking that.
He loved her and that was all there was to it. It was a ritual that he had each night as he lay on the couch of his apartment late at night. He would turn on the radio to her favorite station and sit back and think about her. After playing each and every unrealistic scenario in his mind of him telling her his feeling and her reciprocation he would drift off to sleep. His mental motion picture was violently interrupted when he heard the lyrics that were playing.
"I'm quite you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find that you and I collide
Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind."
He smiled. It was perfect. After everything they had been through, to have their lived summed up in a simple song was incredible to say the least. He wanted to talk to her. Damn the time, it didn't matter. He needed, no, yearned to hear her voice.
Snatching the phone off the table in front of him, he quickly pressed the number that would connect him with the love of his life. After just a few rings a muffled "hello" greeted him on the other line. 'I woke her' Now he felt guilty.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She sat up in bed, confused and happy to hear his voice.
"What's wrong?" She asked instinctively.
"I just wanted to talk to you is all." He said without hesitation.
"Are you ok?" She responded, once again caring for only him above anything else.
"Yes, I was just laying here thinking about a lot of things. About tonight and how the events played out. I wanted you to know that I didn't mean to leave you. I just needed to get that man as far away from you as possible." He lied about the reason he called, however he did mean what he had said.
She was rushed with the memories that she had pushed aside earlier, anger rising once again.
"You know they never did come to the conclusion that he didn't have an accomplice." She said trying to make him feel guilty.
"I did. I did the profile remember?" She knew she lost that one. When it came to profiling no one compared to her partner.
"Ok, you win. I knew there wasn't either. I trusted you. But I was so worried that something would happen to you." She admitted quickly before being able stop the thoughts from flowing from her mouth.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about me." He said. Silently, his subconscious was singing. He loved to hear her fears for his safety. It made him feel like he was important to someone, more importantly, her. The line was quite for a moment and they both heard the music playing in the background of the other line.
"I didn't know you liked this station." she said, he face filling flush at the thought of him listening to the same song the almost brought tears to her eyes.
She felt awkward.
"Yeah, these songs usually put me out but I heard one tonight that I really liked." He admitted.
"Yeah," she sighed. "So did I."
His heart began to flutter. He desperately wanted to know what was going on in the depths of her mind. "Which one sparked your interest?" He asked, trying to sound playful, masking the agonizing curiosity that overwhelmed him.
"I think it was called 'Collide'. Something about the music..." she trailed off, remembering her momentary embarrassment from before, thinking hard to choose her words carefully. "It was relaxing." She said, satisfied and disappointed at the same time. She knew there was another reason as to why he called. It wasn't just to apologize or to shoot the wind over sappy love songs that just so happen to describe every detail of her love for him.
"That was the one I liked too." He said sheepishly. He felt so uncomfortable talking to her like this. It wasn't their usual convectional method of conversation and he was scared of what he may say. 'But you knew what you were going to say when you called' His inner psyche quipped in.
When the silence became a nightmare to her, while he continued arguing with himself, she finally sighed heavily and began to speak, letting her unavoidable interest in his initial reasons override her.
"Why did you really call?"
"I told you, I just wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice." He was reveling more then he wanted to this quickly into the conversation but he knew she was backing him into a corner. He didn't have a choice.
"Ok," she didn't know what to say to his confession but just that, 'ok'. 'What is wrong with you?' She began thinking. "I'm glad you called, I couldn't sleep. A few minutes of your relentless ranting about the supernatural and I'll be out like a light." She laughed into the phone, covering her mouth as she did trying her hardest to stifle the noise to hear his response.
"Ha Ha." It was amusing because he knew that his 'relentless ranting about the supernatural' did bore her sometimes. But at this moment it was more of a slap in the face. Then again, she didn't know why he really called.
She was still laughing. "Lighten up. You know there is nothing in this world I love more than you." She said abruptly. 'Oh. My. God.'
Had he actually heard that? She needed a cover up quick.
"I mean to pick on you..., well, you knew what I meant." Didn't he? Or did he see through the lies right to the truth that she had blurted in a blinding fit of laughter. 'That is my excuse.' She told herself.
He was stunned. So stunned, in fact, that he didn't actually hear her try to cover herself. "You love me?" He asked quietly. She almost didn't hear his whisper.
She actually didn't know if she was meant to answer that question.
"I-" She sighed, terror taking over her body, the was pacing around her bedroom now. "I need to go." She was about to hang up when he stopped her.
"Wait. I didn't call you just to talk to you." This stopped her actions and she silently sat down on the bed, waiting eagerly for him to continue. "In all honesty, I called you because that song had really affected me. After everything we've been through, the fights, the close calls, the cases that come close to tearing us apart, and all the people that believe our work is for nothing." He made sure to emphasize the use of the word 'our'. It was no longer solely his work, after all she had seen and been through, it was just as much hers as his.
"I realized that no matter what happens," he looked down at the scribble that was lying on the coffee table. "You and I will always collide. We were destined to be with one another. If it means just being a platonic friend or a soul mate, it doesn't matter. As long as I am with you." He waited for some response on her, but when silence was heard on the other line he chose to continue.
"What I mean to say is that I love you." He took the plunge. His heart began to beat in his chest. "Not just as a partner, but as a person. I fell in love with you." He heard her gasp. Scared and shaking, he went on. "I had to tell you because I am afraid most of all that I will lose you and I will never see the face, that lights up my life, again." he said changing the lyrics a bit. He was done with his heartfelt confession. Now it was her turn. After a moment had passed in silence he felt like he was going to erupt. "Please, say something." He begged.
She was crying now. The words were beautiful and it was something she had always wanted to hear. She had heard these words before in her dreams and in them she always responded joyously and felt like screaming it to the whole world. Now why couldn't she respond when it actually happened to her.
"I-" The words escaped as a gasp through the sobs that were stuck in her throat.
"I'm sorry" He said. "I shouldn't have." 'Stupid!' He told himself.
"I love you" she whispered. "I love you." again. The words flowed past her lips and she couldn't stop herself. Her heart was pounding but she felt like she could finally breathe. It was like a giant weight removed from her chest. "I love you too" she announced again, ending her chant.
"At least you didn't say 'oh brother' again." He said. He heard her giggle on the other line. It was a relief to hear her relaxed again, admitting her love for him over and over again. He was about to bounce around him apartment screaming at the top of the lungs to realize the overwhelming joy that was ready to rupture his heart. He decided against that, for fear she would hear his teenage antics. A large smile was plastered across his face; he sat in silence for a moment replaying her words in his mind. This was better then any mental movie he had ever had.
He didn't know what else to say except, "I think we already have 'our' song."
"Yes. I guess we do."