Electricity

Ok, so I know I have other stories that need updating, but this is just a little one shot I wrote about episode one of Torchwood (the new season). It was inspired by that scene between Jack and Gwen in his office which nearly made me cry. Sure, I am a Jack/Ianto shipper but I just wanted to wrote this little fic about how I though Gwen might feel. I might do one for these for each episode from a different characters POV. So what do you think? Yes, I know it is short but please read!

Jyra

Episode 1: Gwen

It had been like this ever since Jack came back. Sometimes Gwen even wished he hadn't come back. No that was untrue, she knew it was untrue. She could never wish Jack away, no matter how much pain he could and would cause her. It had been a week since he'd come back and two weeks since Rhys had proposed to her and a week and a half since she'd said yes. And as always Jack had to ruin it. No, not just ruin it, tear her heart out ever time she saw him and she knew he hadn't chosen her, knew he couldn't choice her. Did he even want to choice her or ever wanted to choice her? Now she'd never know…

Before he had gone, it had been them. Her and Jack. In Gwen's mind they had been prefect together just as they were. Sure, it was Owen she had screwed but she hadn't though that she liked Jack in that way. Not until it was too late. Because when she'd seen him die, she'd realised she loved him. Loved him more than she had ever loved anyone in her whole life. At one time she had though she might, just might have had a tiny bit of love for Owen and she'd always assumed she'd loved Rhys. But loving Jack wasn't like anything she'd ever felt before. Gwen had never believed in soul mates before, but Jack had changed all that. How could she ever love anyone else after realising she loved Jack?

But then he left. Left them all. Left her. He didn't want her. She would go to the end of the world for him and he'd run to the end of the world to get away from her. Maybe that was why she said yes to Rhys when he proposed. Because he was second best. She knew it was wrong because if Jack had arrived, she would be gone like a shot. It wasn't fair but you can't stop love Gwen reasoned. But Jack didn't come back. So Gwen said yes. It was the hardest thing she had ever said. It was almost a commitment that she would never have Jack.

But then he did come back. And it was the best day of her life. It was also the worst. Because she felt it again. That electricity, the electricity she wanted to live her life on. A life with Jack. But he stopped it. And again it was confirmed for her. Jack didn't want her. Or if he did, he wasn't willing to ruin her marriage for it. And then he asked out Ianto.

The last week had been the worst of her life. Just watching Jack and Ianto together. Just the thought of what could have been hers and now never would be. And when jack smiled at her, asked her opinion, told her what he wouldn't tell the rest of the team and treated her as his equal, it took all her strength to keep herself from bursting into tears there and then. Because really she was breaking down and dieing inside. And over time that electricity that had once made her feel so alive had started to disappear too. And although at first she though that might be better than the pain the consumed her ever time she caught his eye, she now knew she was wrong. The raw open wound had now become a dull, throbbing pain, a pain only Jack could heal.

But Gwen knew he never would.

Hope that was ok!

Love you all

Jyra

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