Today I interview the Dark Lord Exar Kun.
INTERVIEWER - Thank you, Lord Kun, for agreeing to meet with me. I would like a
short interview, with your permission, of course.
EXAR KUN - As long as they remain simple questions. Nothing to personal.
I value my privacy.
INTERVIEWER - Thank you kindly. You used to be one of the jedi order's most
powerful and respected masters. Why did you leave the order?
EXAR KUN - As a jedi, there is a limit to what you can accomplish within the order.
There are some teaching which they foolishly reject. Teaching such as those of the
dark side. The jedi reject both emotions and passion, viewing them as negative
reflections of the inner self, which left unchecked, can lead to the dark side.
However, I will never reject that which is a natural part of every one.
So while they were meeting as part of the Conclave at Deneba, I was exploring
the Valley of the Dark Lords on Korriban. There, the sprit of the great dark lord
Freedon Nadd confronted me a 2nd time, after I was gravely injured by dark side
corpses resurrected by Korriban's vast dark energy. The rest is history.
INTERVIEWER - You are often credited with being the first to develop
and use the twin-blade lightsaber. What made you choose such an exotic laser sword?
EXAR KUN - As an expert in combat with two lightsabers, I thought it only natural
to design a version with two blades. It gives me an advantage during saber fights.
Plus, I have to admit that it looks cool.
INTERVIEWER - Let talk about you. Do you have any hobbies? How does a dark lord
spend his free time?
EXAR KUN - I like to exercise. To be a dark lord, one must be in top physical condition.
I run 20 miles every morning before breakfast, and another 20 miles every night before
bedtime. Getting enough sleep is very important, as well. It refreshes the body.
I also love swimming, and weightlifting. I need my muscles to be in peak shape.
It helps when I find myself in combat against some jedi master or their foolish padawan.
INTERVIEWER - Do you enjoy a favorite food?
EXAR KUN - For the most part, I eat only raw fruits and vegetables. I try hard to limit
the amount of meat which I eat. A very small amount, maybe four or five small pieces.
What little meat that I eat, I prefer medium rare.
INTERVIEWER - Do you ever get the chance to travel?
EXAR KUN - As a sith? Just Korriban and Yarvin 4. As a jedi, I was often on Coruscant.
I've been to the Forest Moon known as Endor, in the outer rim territories. I've traveled to
Kashyyyk, home of the Wookiees, a giant human-ape hybrid. By now you should be able
to guess that I like trees. Which reminds me, I also like bird watching whenever I can.
Don't ever tell anyone.
INTERVIEWER - Exar Kun, Birdman of the Sith. Sounds strange. Do you have any pet peeves,
something that you truly hate.
EXAR KUN - I do now. Idiots who make fun of my hobbies.
INTERVIEWER - Sorry about that. I couldn't resist. I just can't imagine that a dark lord
watches cute little birds. Do you have a favourite species of bird?
EXAR KUN - The Ibbot from Drall, in the Corellian system within the Galatic Core.
I keep two of them as pets, in my temple compound on Yarvin 4.
INTERVIEWER - Is there a legendary sith from the past that you would have liked to
have met?
EXAR KUN - Ajunta Pall, the very first dark lord of the sith.
INTERVIEWER - Thank you for the interview, Tweety.
EXAR KUN - Who the hell is Tweety?