Hola :) Been meaning to do this one since I first heard this song, but only got the motivation for it today! Hope you like :) WARNING: Not a typical 'fanfiction' Draco. More like tormented, hateful character. Enjoy! haha.. Also, anyone who PM'd me I'll defo get around to it 2mro, and I'll update Dansant soon, too! Merry Christmas and Happy New year! :D
Love the Way You Lie.
(Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts.)
The room is static with heat and electricity, but she's too weak to respond to it. She can feel the tension around her, compressing and pushing at her, but she can't work up a reply. She sits leaning against the wall, eyes focused on him unblinkingly as he sits on the couch across from her, staring. He doesn't blink and she doesn't flinch; it's like a game. It's a torturous, masochistic, vicious, unrelenting and unforgiving game that she can't escape, nor has she ever had a desire to. (I can't breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight)The bottle of wine lays smashed in between them; their own battlefield, casualties long forgotten. They never count the casualties. It's always act now, never think about it. If she did think about, she revelled in the memories - the struggle for control, the burning passion - hate or love, it no longer mattered - and the victory that neither of them every truly received.
He still hasn't moved, and her legs and rear are beginning to feel numb from sitting on the ground so long. That's her favourite part - the numbness. When all her pain and uncertainty melts away and all she can feel is absolutely nothing. It's stronger than the alcohol, and she's never cared enough for the drugs. She keeps eye contact with him as she takes out a cigarette and draws it to her mouth, tilting her head towards him.
He accepts the silent truce and slides down onto the floor, slowly moving towards her. Leaning forward, he takes a lighter out of his front pocket and lights up her smoke.
He remains leant forward, but Pansy sits back against the wall. She inhales deeply and then blows high into the air, never moving her deep, blue eyes from his storming grey. And there is definitely a storm in those grey eyes.
He's staring at her mouth now, eyes fixated and unmoving. Pansy can read that expression and feels herself become hot at the lust clouding his gaze when his eyes flicker back to hers. Her cigarette is thrown behind her - uncaring of the consequences - and she pounces on him.
His lips are on hers then, and they're fighting for control once more; battling and waging, biding time and striking. As their tongues fight a ferocious battle that they'd long become accustomed to, Pansy adjusts herself so that she's straddling him. His hands come around her waist and hold her close, gripping so tightly that she can feel the pain ripple through her.
In a way, it's good to feel the pain, too. It ensures her that she's not entirely numb. That she has hope for a normal life.
His hands enclosed around her forearm, and he dragged her a step away, "What do you think your playing at?" He spat, a disgusted expression gracing his once handsome features and rage exploding into his eyes. Pansy shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, unable to give him an answer. This was what she had wanted, wasn't it? She wanted to bait him, to tease him. She wanted to make him feel jealous and unwanted - as unwanted as she felt every, single day. She was beautiful, no doubt, but Pansy Parkinson was damaged. No one wanted damaged goods.
He managed to tear himself away from her gaze to look at the culprit, who was still eyeing Pansy with appraisal in his eyes. She felt disgusted herself; he was a pathetic, snivelling excuse for a human being, and was not even worth a second of her time.
"Baby, you can call me anytime when you're finished with this one," bloodshot eyes winked at her and yellow teeth gave her a welcoming grin. Such a stupid man, because in no less than two seconds following that, he was being pummelled to the ground by her boyfriend. It took three men to pull him off. (But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed, I snap; Who's that dude? I don't even know his name)
There's an intense, fiery passion raging inside her and she can't shake it off. It's always there when she's with him, corroding her until one day she's sure she'll snap. It's the most powerful emotion she ever feels though - in her whole life she has never felt the emotions that pour into her heart when he's around. It's a red, hot hate she comes to realise. (Drunk from the hate, it's like I'm huffing paint. And I love it the more that I suffer) There was a time when they loved each other, when the sight of the other had hearts racing and hands shaking, but the war changed it and now she can't stand the look of him.(Yeah them chills, Used to get them. Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at him.) Her reflex is to hit and hurt, and she tries everyday. He does too. It's a mutual battle of who can hurt, who can stay in the ring and give the other the most pain - she doesn't understand when it became that, or why, she just knows what she feels. Sometimes.
She knew he watched her when she laughed, and that was why she always did it so uproariously. She loved the adoring expression that only she could read, the affection in his touch and the warmth that was so rare in his grey depths. Pansy tried to laugh whenever she could because of that; just to see the wonder of his face afterwards, when the effects were still lingering. (Got that warm fuzzy feeling) She craved his touch. His gaze. His love. Pansy knew already that they were destined, fated - kismet, if you will. They were meant to be and no one could try and tell her different, especially not her mother. She had already disowned her family because they didn't accept the duties of a death eater's girlfriend, and would be wife. She loved him enough to sacrifice all of that, to leave all she knew behind to start something new with someone that was more important to her than anyone had ever been.
Pansy sighed contently at the end of her laugh, immediately allowing her eyes to flicker to his. Warmth flooded her instantly upon seeing his adoration for her, and she knew that no one knew this man quite like she. He let no one else see emotion except for her, and for this, she was eternally grateful. She would always be grateful, Pansy thought.
Although he didn't say it yet, she knew it was true, and so Pansy blurted out what had been on her mind the past few weeks. "I love you, Draco. I really do." She declared impassionedly, "And you don't have to say it, but I know you love me, too."
He frowned and drew her into his arms, and Pansy was reminded that actions always spoke louder than words with him. "I'm able to let my guard down around you."
Love blinded her and made her forget the world and its problems and pressures. She was blind to his faults; to hers. She forgot about other people and slowly that poisoned her.
"I'll always love you and be here, Draco." Pansy responded, satisfied with his reply. Slowly and delicately then, she reached up behind her to give him a soft kiss from the spot on his lap. She savoured the love and warmth of the moment.
"I know you will," How wrong they both had been.
She's clutching at his belt now as she rains harsh kisses down his jaw line, while he runs his hands up and down her back. She cant stop, and yet she can't get enough; she needs more and wants him to be willing to give it to her. The gaping hole in her chest that is normally filled with rage slowly empties out until she's suddenly cold, losing all passion and hate from seconds ago.
She hates him for making her into this. Pansy stands and walks away, leaving him with just the air around him. He mutters something indignantly, but his commanding voice halts her in her stop.
"What the fuck was that? Pansy? Pansy - answer me!" He twirls her around forcefully and she stumbles a little.
Rage consumes her again and Pansy wants to scream with the torrent of emotions and moods that are swinging her around constantly. She's so tired, so very tired of it all.
"Get away from me," She snarls, pushing him back as hard as she can. He falls back into the wall, the thump and crash echoing through the large, empty room.
"What's wrong, love?" It's not said affectionately, or with the love and warmth he used to say it with - the term of affection is only used for the purpose of hurting her. It's said in a dry, wry drawl and elicits the desired response from her as she hurls the lamp beside her at him. (Now you're in each other's face spewing venom, and these words when you spit them)It misses and breaks into a thousand smithereens against the wall, inches away from his head. How different things would have been if her aim was good.
"You asshole," she shouts, "Why can't you just be normal? Why can't we just be normal?"
"We've never been normal! Stop being such a moany bitch, Pans. We've always been this."
"You're a liar - we were happy once. Remember that? When we loved each other?"
He snorts, shaking his head incredulously, "Stop being so romantic. What did you think was going to happen? That we'd remain teenage love puppies forever?" Silence greets his questions and he laughs loudly, but it's a cruel, mocking laugh rather than one of any real humour. "Seriously? How can you be so stupid and naïve?" He's trying to hurt her, and Pansy's all too aware. (It's the rage that took over,It controls you both) She's played this game too many times. She thinks back to the pleas of her friends to leave him, to the questions of his friends of 'why are you still with him?' and to the family that begged her to come back and leave behind all she had abandoned them for. How could she have been so stupid?
They kept telling her to leave him. (So they say it's best to go your separate ways, guess that they don't know you) "I can't do this anymore, Draco," Pansy announces, and her shoulders slump in defeat. It's the first time she's relinquished control so easily, and she can tell he's surprised by the slight widening of his eyes. "I-I just can't self-destruct anymore." To his and her horror, tears begin well until there's so much that she can't hold it back, and Pansy feels the trickle of salty water running down her face. She feels the most vulnerable she has in years and gazes into his eyes for some sort of retort.
His eyes are softer, and she can see the flicker of the boy she once knew before the war tore him apart. He's then pulling her into his arms, stroking her hair and telling her everything's going to be okay. Pansy lets herself go completely and feels the harsh and laborious sobs wrack her small frame. Her shoulders shake against his taller physique, but she feels strangely comforted by his arms. By his beating heart beneath her ear.
"No, no, don't.. don't leave Pansy. I'll change, we'll change together. We'll be a different relationship - maybe we're what happens when fire meets fire.(Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano) But we'll make it through it, you know we will," He promises, pushing her back in order to see into her eyes. He loves her too much to let her walk away now.
She's avoiding his eyes and instead gazing at his shirt, eyes still and unmoving, but deep in thought. Her tears have stopped falling but her eyes are still wet, reminders of all that had happened.
He threw the keys down on the table carelessly as he stormed into the house, and Pansy steeled herself for a fight. She was raring for this, and this is what she had been aiming for. Flirting with that excuse for a man was only for Draco's own benefit, and her own assurance. They loved the passion that existed between them.
She had never quite seen him so angry though, and when he turned she got a fright. Pansy flirted with men all the time to anger him, she didn't know what was so different this time? She took a shaky step away from Draco, unsure of where she was treading this time. The look in his eyes was one she had never seen before. They were so dark that she could barely distinguish the flecks of bright blue that were usually so prominent in the stormy grey. His face was screwed tightly while both his jaw and fists were busy clenching and unclenching.
She couldn't let her guard down now - she had gone that far, why not go the whole way? "What's your problem?" She asked him flippantly, as if he were being completely out of character.
His eyes shot to hers and he was then coming towards her with a feral look in his eyes, "Dammit Pansy, do not push me," He growled, his nose touching hers. Pansy felt his hot breath against her face and struggled not to flinch.
"I-I.. don't know what you're talking about." When he didn't move, she went on, "Just because you can't handle a little competition doesn't mean I should be punished. Maybe it would liven things up around here, no?" (But your temper's just as bad as mine is)
And then he did something he had never done before; he slapped her. She fell to the ground with the force and he left angrily, not sparring her a glance as he opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Pansy touched her cheek shakily, shock consuming her body and thoughts before she couldn't control her shaking any longer. Tears pushed at her eyes but she wouldn't allow them any lenience and kept them locked away instead. Her cheek had a pulse and her head began to hurt. Remains of their last fight still littered the living room she noticed, and thought about how little time they spent not fighting. She took deep breaths, gradually calming herself. She couldn't stop the throbbing in her cheek though, or the pain in her head.
She wondered why she was still sitting there when he got home. He sat down on the couch across from her, and she remained against the wall. (And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine)
She doesn't respond and he's getting angsty, "I'll never do anything like I did today again. It'll be different." He grips her chin and forces her to look at him, but his eyes are still soft. "It was all my fault, and I promise next time it'll be different." (Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk? Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball! Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall)
Pansy nods and lets her tense shoulders drop, craving the intimacy of them for a while before the cycle starts again. She hopes that they'll both stop; that she won't go chasing what they have now if they change. She hopes that he'll keep to his promise.
He leads her into their bedroom, and they both drop onto the bed. She holds his hands tightly in a rare show of vulnerability and longing to be loved and held, while he adjusts them so that her back is against his chest. He holds her close and kisses her lightly on the neck once. (I apologize even though I know it's lies. I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar)
He knows he lied. He just wanted her back. How could she try and leave?
(If she ever tries to fucking leave again, I'm going to tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.)
Neither of them remember the discarded, lit cigarette until much earlier when it's much too late.
(Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie)
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Wow, I actually strangely enjoyed writing that one! It's so different from anything else I've written, in terms of format and style. I dont thnk I've seen this format before either, but it is probably out there! So glad I finally done this fic. I think this is a great song, and the video is brilliant... The song is so real. Or at least in my opinion :L I hope you've liked. I know Draco is not how many want him to be, but I genuinely believe he could be this person. If we take away fanfiction world and go on the sixth and seventh book.. Poisoned by his own bitterness? Enraged? Searching for something? Idk. Tell me what you thnk anyway!
Also, judging by my last few works, it probably seems like I'm depressed or something at the moment.. but the truth is that I've never been better! haha.. I'm just a bit of an angst lover - at least to write. ANYWAY, reviews mucho appreciated and loved :)
Lastly, could someone please advise me on whether to make this fic rating T or M?
xCNx