All this wasted time spent daydreaming,
We cannot distinguish dreams from reality.
Is our will so weak, our eyes so blind?
We dream at day and sleep at night.
Tears cried always dry.
Even on cloudy days, the sun shines.
We just can't see through the rain.
But I finally understand now.
What makes us wish, dream, cry.
The heart.
It's not so hard to see now.
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Heart
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Ah.
Here you are.
I have found you at last...
Sasuke-kun.
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"Why are you here, Sakura?" he asked in a bored tone. His voice was smooth and deep and they brought a rush of memories that almost overwhelmed the pink haired girl.
She had found him, but he had let her. There was no harm in seeing how she was doing and she posed no threat to him.
Secretly, unconciously, he had wanted to see her, even if it was just for a moment. Even if it hurt him, actually physically hurt him.
He wondered why his whole body hurt when she was around, especially his chest. But he scolded himself.
I've let go...and she cannot hurt me now.
She smiled gently. "I wanted to see you."
"I'm not going back to Konoha," Sasuke said, wanting to leave. He had caught a glimpse of her and it was enough. He had to leave now before he started to become confused. She was wasting his time and he was in a hurry. He turned to go but she spoke again.
"I'm not going back to Konoha, either," Sakura said, the smile still on her face. He looked back, his face blank. She giggled. She didn't know if he was curious or not, but at least he had stopped.
"I'm not going to make it back to Konoha," she said, her smile finally fading. She looked away, her expression saddening. "Naruto will be sad," she thought aloud. Then she looked back at him. "But at least he'll still have you."
"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked. Her tone was starting to annoy him. He always found it troublesome when she got sad. In the past, her sadness had brought pain to his heart.
But his heart is frozen now. Nothing can hurt it.
She stared at him, her eyes clouding over, confused. "You don't know, Sasuke-kun?"
He heard 12 year old Sakura calling his name. The girl from then and now were so alike. Except now, she held no power over him.
"Don't know what?" he asked indifferently, wanting to finish the conversation and then leave. Even if she had gotten stronger, there was no way she could stop him.
He waited with growing impatience as she stared at him, silent. She blinked once. He studied her, not believing she was anbu. How strong would Naruto be? How had they been since he had left?
She was so weak in the past.
Finally, he got tired of waiting and turned again, walking away. He had no qualms turning his back on her. He blinked when he realized Sakura was standing in front of him. His brows furrowed. She had moved so fast he had almost missed it.
She stood there, an arm's length away, a head shorter than he was, her hair flowing gently from the quick movement. The slight breeze blew a familiar scent towards him, her scent.
Sadly, it smelled like home.
He nodded slightly, looking away. "You've gotten faster." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her grin.
"I've gotten stronger, too! Don't you want to see?" Sakura said excitedly. "Let's spar! If I win, you have to go back to Konoha!"
Sasuke's eyes landed back on her and his dark gaze shook her slightly. "No. Stop wasting my time and go home," he said. He waited with bated breath for her answer, not knowing what he wanted her to say.
"Sasuke-kun, I'm not going home," she said sadly. "But please, won't you?"
Sasuke stared at her, his face blank. "I'm not going back."
Sakura grinned. "Yes, you are! I promised Naruto you would. Please? He'll be sad if both of us don't come home."
"Then you go back," Sasuke said, his voice taking on an edge. Why was she being so difficult?
"I can't."
"Why?"
She looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm dying."
She could have sworn she saw him twitch. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Well, usually when someone's dying it's because they're injured in some-"
"You're not injured," Sasuke said bluntly.
Sakura looked at him incredulously. "Of course I am. Are you okay, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke stared at her and then shut his eyes. "Don't call me that." He opened them again and his sharigan appeared without thought, scanning over her body. She looked fine. "You're not injured," he said again.
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am!"
"No, you're not."
It was like old times. They were always arguing with each other and Sakura always ended up winning. Sasuke could never let her down.
"Yes, I AM!" Sakura shouted, stomping her foot, her expression becoming angry.
Sasuke's eyes widened, suddenly seeing 12 year old Sakura throwing a tantrum when he refused to buy her pocky. But what surprised him even more was that when her foot hit the ground, the earth rumbled and split in half, a crack running a few meters in each direction. He quickly stepped to the side to avoid falling but Sakura matched his movements.
When the hell had she learned to do that?
Deciding to please her, he went along with her game. The sooner she left him, the more sure of himself he could be. He could feel his resolve slowly weakening. Years had gone by without seeing her and his heart had become so sad.
But he fought desperately against the old adage: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
"Then go to a medic."
"Sasuke-kun, I am a medic," she said, pausing to gauge his reaction. She twitched. Not even a hint of acknowledgement.
"Then heal yourself."
She regarded him almost sadly. "This wound can't be healed. It's already too late for me."
Sasuke stared at her and then pushed past her. "Stop wasting my time with your nonsense." He walked away from her.
"Aren't you sad that I'm dying, Sasuke-kun?" He kept walking.
"We were once best friends," Sakura remembered, her eyes becoming distant, a soft smile on her lips. He appeared to not have heard her.
"You promised to protect me forever."
His steps faltered but then picked up again. "Promises are meant to be broken."
Sakura turned around and watched his retreating form. She smiled wistfully.
"Sasuke-kun."
He didn't stop.
"Sasuke-kun."
Her smile cracked.
He forced himself to keep going. But the steps fucking hurt. It was like his skin was being burned, just being away from her and she was the cure to his...heartache.
And oh, how his chest hurt.
He hated how she made him feel.
"Sasuke."
Something in her voice made him stop. It had sounded so broken, desperate, and hopeless. His feet stayed glued to the ground and he looked out wistfully to the horizon.
Oh, how he wished life could be steady and easy like the sunrise and sunset.
She spoke.
"I'm sorry."
He said nothing.
"I promised you that I would be happy."
He flinched but she didn't notice.
"But I can't."
He closed his eyes and lifted them to the heavens. They were dry but he wished he could cry. This was such a stupid story; a stupid, stupid, twisted story and he had to be in it.
"Go back home, Sakura."
He wanted to erase her from his story. His life. His heart.
But the universe wanted it this way. He swore they laughed at this twisted, sad love story.
"Please...please, Sasuke-kun. Just come back. Naruto-"
He snapped.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
She flinched at his outburst.
Sasuke worked furiously to rein in his emotions. He could feel the curse seal become agitated as his chakra flowed erratically through him as he breathed heavily through his mouth. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, his eyes shut tightly. He took another breath and when his eyes opened, they were black and torn.
"Naruto? Naruto wants me back? Why didn't he come, then?"
She said nothing.
"Is that why you came? To make Naruto happy?"
"No, Sasu-"
"WHY DID YOU EVEN COME?" He had spun around suddenly and looked at her with tortured eyes. She regarded him sadly.
"I'm dieing, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke let out a frustrated breath. He was sick of her mind games.
"So you want me to be there for Naruto when you die? You're always thinking about him, aren't you?"
"Sasuke, you know-"
"What? I know what? That you lov-"
He stopped abruptly. He couldn't force the words out because it hurt too damn much. The curse seal burned as he struggled to get a hold of his emotions.
"It's a lie and you know it, Sakura."
"It's not a lie!" she said, desperate.
Sasuke shook his head and turned around again. His heart...oh his heart. It could not take anymore. He had to walk away now.
He took painful steps but he took them. Even when she called his name. He walked away from her like before. Oh, he was running away.
She cried invisible tears.
Oh, Sasuke. How could you not understand?
She closed her eyes and prepared herself. Her hands went to her kunai pouch and one short prayer went through her head.
Just one word.
Please...
She didn't even know what to wish for anymore.
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I wanted to be...Uchiha Sakura.
But that was a silly wish.
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She attacked.
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They were dancing. So like old times, so unlike.
They had both changed, but stayed the same.
As they fought, Sasuke found his anger increasing.
Oh, how she insisted on hurting him so.
His eyes narrowed as he just barely dodged a swift slice of a kunai, aimed at his throat.
"Go back to Naruto," Sasuke said through his teeth with hatred.
Sakura looked sadly at him as she gracefully flipped away, dodging the sweep of his large sharp katana.
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Because my heart was yours...but yours was not mine.
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4 years ago
"Sakura…"
She looked up at him curiously, a small smile on her face. "What is it, Sasuke-kun?"
His hand that was not holding hers clenched in his pocket.
"Do you-"
"SAKURA-CHAN!"
...love me?
Her head whipped around and her eyes crinkled up in a smile when she saw Naruto heading towards them. "Naruto!" She called happily.
She turned back to Sasuke. "Sasuke, what were you saying?"
Sasuke looked away, his insides burning. Curse the dumb dobe for coming. "Nothing." He dropped her hand quickly and she stared at him confusedly. Then she shrugged when Naruto reached them.
"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme! Let's go to dinner! I have something very important to say," he said, taking Sakura's hand and tugging. He started dragging her along but Sasuke quickly snagged her other hand.
"Come on, teme, let's go!" Naruto said exasperatedly.
"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura questioned.
Sasuke remained looking down and then slowly let go of her small hand.
"It's nothing. Go ahead." He looked away. "I'll catch up."
He was too embarrassed with what he was just about to say.
Naruto groaned loudly. "Sasuke-teme, I want you there now. I have something very important to say and you can't miss it!"
Sasuke shrugged. "Say it here, then."
Naruto glanced quickly at Sakura who remained silent, shrugging at him. Naruto blushed faintly and then scratched the back of his head.
"Ahh, never mind. Sakura, let's go!" he said and quickly pulled her along. "Catch up later, teme!"
Sakura waved goodbye to the silent boy. He looked up to see them leaving, the two of them bantering playfully and he sighed mentally. He slowly brought his hand out of his pocket and opened it.
In his palm lay a beautiful gold ring.
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Dream of flower hearts glistening with tears rained down from sweet melodies played when he says, "Marry me."
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"Will you marry me?"
Why do you ask this of me when you clearly don't love me?
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"I'm sorry."
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Her hands moved and the earth shook.
His eyes narrowed.
She dodged the deadly swipe of his katana.
He snarled viciously.
Her footwork faltered slightly for a moment of unprotected weakness.
His lips curved in a wicked smile.
And his curse seal exploded.
He lost himself in that moment and he regretted it dearly.
Because he lost her.
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You are my special someone, my most important person in the world.
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The sword cut through her body. The sound was almost...deafening. He swore he saw a glint of gold.
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His face held no hint of regret. His eyes were frenzied, glowing with bloodlust, his curse seal taking over his entire being. The blood flowing from the girl only made him crave more and he twisted his katana sickeningly into her body.
Her body jerked against her will and betrayed the pain she was feeling to the man.
He smiled such a beautiful, heartbreaking smile.
Her emerald eyes stared deep into his burning red ones and even then, it could not penetrate his heart.
"You're a fool, Sakura."
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"Naruto asked me to marry him."
His eyes widened fractionally but he stayed calm on the outside. The ring dug sharply into his flesh as he clenched his fists.
"What did you say to him?"
She regarded him for a moment. "What did you want me to say?"
He looked at her for a moment, taking in her solemn appearance and then looked away.
"I don't care."
She was taken aback and she felt her heart twist unnaturally. "Oh."
He looked at her again when he heard the sad tone in her voice. He sighed and then backtracked. "What I say won't make much difference anyway."
She came closer to him and reached up to brush his long hair away from his eyes. Her hand lingered over his face and brought it slowly down, dragging her hand over his eyes, nose and mouth. Her hand dropped to her side but she remained looking up at him.
"When you marry someone, you should marry someone you love," she said, staring deep into his eyes.
He stayed silent for a while. "Do you love him?"
"Yes, I do." He can feel his heart breaking.
"But, I love you the most."
His eyes widen and she smiles sadly. He stays silent, confused at why she is telling her this. She shifts, turning her head away from him and he watches as she stares silently out to the distance.
She seemed so far away.
"I love Sasuke-kun the most."
He clenched his fists.
"Then marry me."
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Everyone sees your beauty, but they are blind to your flaws. But I see them. They are what make you beautiful. The loneliness in your eyes is truly…
…heartbreaking.
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"I'll protect you forever and keep your heart safe."
He promised her that day.
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And he broke it.
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"How do you feel, Sakura? Isn't it ironic that I stabbed you in the heart? The very one I swore to protect?"
She exhaled sharply and her eyes blinked slowly, her vision blurring. She raised her head with difficulty, her eyes hazed. Her hand trembled as she raised her arm to put her hand over his katana, the one thrust right into her heart.
"Silly Sasuke…I…lost my heart…years ago," she said softly, her breathing heavy and forced, but her voice quivering with feeling.
His cold eyes gaze blankly into hers and she laughs painfully.
"You never understood."
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Her eyes widened.
"Marry you?"
He said nothing, only waited impatiently for her response.
Her face bloomed with something, perhaps happiness, but something loomed over it that darkened the glow.
He sighed and then held out his hand. In his palm lay the ring.
She gasped and took a step forwards, haltingly, not believing her eyes. She took another step but she stumbled over something clumsily and she crashed into Sasuke.
He supported her and she looked up at him with wide eyes.
He exhaled again and then deftly took her hand and slid the ring easily onto her finger. He then looked away and then with what Sakura swore was a blush asked,
"Will you marry me?"
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"Sasuke-kun…"
He frowned. "What are you waiting for?"
She looked at him, her emerald eyes searching his. "Sasuke-kun…does this mean you are settling down? You want to stay here?"
He stared at her. "Of course not."
Her lips parted slightly and it looked as if he had punched her in the stomach.
"So, you're still going to leave?" she asked in a soft whisper.
He looked at her. "Sakura," he said gently.
"You're still going to leave, aren't you?" she said, tears starting to come to his eyes.
Sasuke started to become frustrated at the sight of her tears. He was proposing to her. Why couldn't she just say yes? Why was she crying? Wasn't she happy he was asking her to marry him? He just needed her to wait for him, just a few more years until he could kill Itachi.
"You know I have to leave, Sakura," he said exasperatedly, a hint of anger coloring his words.
Abruptly, her expression changed and her face became cold.
"Liar," she whispered.
He stared at her shocked.
"You should marry someone you love, Sasuke-kun. Do you love me?"
Did he love her? He was asking her to marry him, wasn't he? He couldn't live without her, he needed to see her everyday and have her by his side.
This was love, right?
He opened his mouth to speak but Sakura cut him off.
"Before you answer, know this. If you truly love me, you won't leave Konoha. You'll stay here with me."
He stared at her, outraged. How could she ask him of this?
She only stared back at him, her emerald eyes hard and unyielding, demanding an answer.
"I can't Sakura. I have to leave," he said, his expression turning cold also.
At that moment, her façade cracked and his heart broke a little, seeing her so consumed by grief. He reached out to her, wanting to comfort her and see her smile again.
"Please, Sakura, jus-"
"I'm sorry," she said.
He halted.
"What?"
"I can't marry you."
She turned away and started to walk away. He stared after her and tried to comprehend why she was walking away, walking away from him. He couldn't stop himself.
"You're breaking my heart," he said, softly.
But she heard.
She stopped and her pink hair flowed gently in the light breeze that blew a soft swirl of cherry blossoms around her.
A clear teardrop rolled down her thin cheek and dropped to the ground. Oh, Sasuke-kun.
"You've already broken mine."
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You're the only one who binds me here.
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She gasped as another twinge of pain ran its course through her body. She took in a few more breaths painfully.
"I was…looking for my heart…you…"
"I thought I could live without you. But I couldn't... breathe...sleep...not without m-my heart."
Sakura coughed, her body shaking violently and she was only being supported by the sword that had killed her.
She laughed brokenly, almost choking on her blood as she shook her head.
"I...couldn't marry N-Naruto."
His onyx eyes widened.
With her other hand, she laid it softly on Sasuke's chest.
"Don't you understand? I love..."
She coughed violently and blood stained her pale face.
"I love you," she whispered, her lips so white, her skin so pale and cold.
She closed her eyes as her hand came in contact with his body. Her hand was ice cold.
"You…are my heart," she whispered.
His body turns cold as her hand slips and her figure collapses over.
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"Don't leave Sasuke-kun!" She screamed.
He looked back and smirked. But this time, it was more gentle, softer. It was almost a smile.
She was shocked. His demeanor had been so cold, so evil.
Oh Sasuke-kun. Have you really fallen so far?
"Sakura."
She stood there, one hand raised to her heart, her hand loosely fisted.
"There's no point in me staying."
He saw her eyes flash and he grinned inwardly to himself. It was the spirited Sakura he always knew.
"You're leaving for revenge, Sasuke! Stay here, please! You promised, you made a promise!" Her hands waved wildly in the air as she shouted, desperate.
He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. His smirk slid off and he hardened his resolve. This girl would not keep him from achieving his revenge.
"Promise me you'll be happy."
She immediately quieted. There was no way Sasuke was staying. She nodded sadly.
"I'm sorry I lied to you, Sakura."
She started to cry.
"There was never a place in my heart for you."
The wind rustled her hair, covering her face. Her head was bent down in grief.
He mused quietly. "Why are you so sad? You chose Naruto, anyway."
She sobbed and shook her head. "Because he loves me back. You don't love me, Sasuke-kun! There is nothing in your heart but revenge."
He turned to see her begging, her figure crumpled and broken. She spoke with her hand outreached. The moonlight caught off something and his eyes widened.
She was wearing the ring.
He turned around quickly before the girl could stop him from leaving.
"Wait!" she called again.
His steps faltered. He heard footsteps and he turned to see her standing in front of him. He looked down at her with cold eyes.
She paused for a moment to catch her breath. Then she looked up at him.
"If there is no place in your heart for me, then take my heart."
She smiled sadly.
"Carry my heart wherever you go so that my love can go with you."
He looked down at her coldly.
"I don't want it."
She gasped and her eyes widened but then her features smoothed out peacefully. "It doesn't matter." She tapped his chest, right over his heart.
"You've already taken it."
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Your heart...was never mine.
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The curse seal faded and his eyes returned to their normal light. They were black. His cold façade breaks finally and he feels like he's disconnected from the world. The world stays silent as Sakura falls.
He heard a plink.
And he catches her.
His eyes slowly slid down to look at the girl. There was a huge cut in her chest, right over her heart. But what caught his eye was the small silver chain that rested on her. It was broken, cut by his sharp blade.
There's a soft, gentle sound that pulls his attention to the bloody ground.
He watched as the ring he had given to her rolled to a stop and cracked in half.
Like his heart.
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Oh Sakura. You can have my broken, twisted heart.
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He laid her gently down on the ground, the katana still sticking out of her body. He brushed stray tendrils of pink hair away from her pale face and his fingers cupped her cold cheek softly.
"I see now. How broken your heart was," he said.
Oh, how his chest hurt. But he didn't despair...Sakura was right here.
He took the two parts of the ring and placed one in Sakura's limp hand, curling her fingers over it. He covered her hand with his larger one and grasped it tightly. He held the other part of the ring in his hand.
"I can't go back."
He laid himself down on the ground behind her, the tip of the katana pointing at his heart. With one hand still holding hers, twisted around her waist, the other wrapped around the handle of the sword. He smiled a true smile at that moment and swiftly, brought Sakura's body to him, embracing her tightly from behind as the sword went through his own heart.
As the blood spread around them, his lips turned up again in a smile that Sakura rarely saw but loved so dearly.
Oh Sakura. You can have my broken, twisted heart.
And they laid there, his larger body engulfing hers, seemingly trying to protect her fragile one, the same katana through both their broken hearts.
Oh Sakura. You can have my broken, twisted heart.
His onyx eyes closed and he felt himself grow cold, but he pressed his lips to Sakura's soft hair.
It's yours now.
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I wished that you would have told me that you loved me.
Maybe then...I would have said yes.
Maybe then...you would have stayed. Who knows?
But either way, at least we're together in the end.
Your heart and mine.
