"Alright, I get it. Very funny. I have to take care of Pein's rabbit. The little bugger is going to DIE, I'll tell you that. For God's sake, it's called BOOGLE. A group of weasels. Pein, sometimes I wonder if you're trying to make me go insane."

Here, Boogle Bunny!

Summary: When Pein and Blue go on a temporary trip, they leave Pein's bunny Boogle in Itachi's care. He isn't impressed, judging how Boogle is a collective noun for weasel. Also, he hates animals. So, how's he gonna survive taking care of it alone for a week?

Genre: Humor

Disclaimer: Do you think Pein in canon would ACTUALLY own a bunny called Boogle?

Author Note: Ahem. Boogle is actually my rabbit...

By aBoOm-Un

Day 1

Itachi involuntarily twitched. He screwed up his face for about the a millionth time that day, stretched his arm underneath the bed and crooned in monotone, "Here, bunny-bunny…"

Kisame snorted slightly, and shoved a fist in his mouth. Itachi glared hatefully at his blue-skinned partner, who took one look at Itachi and giggle-snorted.

Well, no wonder. It isn't every day when you see Itachi lying on the floor, trying to get a beige-coloured rabbit out from under a bed.

Itachi sent Kisame another glare, and slumped back down onto the floor, managing to choke out, "Here, bunny-bunny…" Kisame made a half squealing half dying noise and slumped over onto his knees, going red with laughter. Deidara was grinning, his scope ticking suspiciously. Itachi cursed under his breath, an urge to kill them all wallowing up inside of him.

Why did Pein do this to him? Deidara or Tobi would have loved to keep a bunny for a week. I mean, come on. It was fuzzy, friendly, cute…

Haha. Maybe in their eyes.

To Itachi, it was a horrible little fat thing with a giant fold of fat around its neck.

"We need you to take care of the bunny because you would have had the most experience," Pein said blandly, stroking the beige blob in his arms. "You had a little brother, you know what you need to take care of something." Konan was unconsciously pulling bits of paper off of the flower in her hair, until she sighed, "Pein, can we leave yet?"

"In a moment," Pein sighed, lifting the blob and pulling it in Itachi's outstretched hands. "Its name is Boogle. Feed her once every day. One cup of this," he gestured over in the far corner with a lazy flick of his hand, "The red box has all the food. Make sure she gets at least 2 hours of human interaction a day. That's about it, I s'pose," he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Got any questions?"

Itachi blinked twice. "So… I have to take care of a rabbit."

"That's the main point," Konan sighed. "God, and people say you're a genius."

Itachi exhaled deeply, and shut his eyes. "So… How long will this go for?"

"One week. Don't worry, it won't be hard," Pein grinned. Konan smirked back at him. Itachi frowned. They knew something he didn't...

"Have fun!" And with that final word, Pein and Konan picked up a suitcase each and walked out the door, leaving Itachi with the blob in his arms.

Oh, suuuuure. "Take care of the bunny, it won't be hard!" Fat chance.

The moment he got the freakin' thing, it jumped straight out of his arms and ran as fast as its fat little legs would take it.

Kisame and Deidara wondered what the hell was going on when Itachi went sprinting down the hall...

"Deidara, have you gotten the forms for me yet?" Kisame said, waking Deidara up from his little daydream.

"…Un? Oh yeah… I got them in my room, un." Deidara responded slowly, scratching his cheek.

Kisame rolled his eyes and said slowly, "Will you get them for me…?" Deidara didn't respond. His eyes were glazed over and his hands hung limply by his side. "Ahem… DEIDARA."

"Un?"

Kisame frowned. "The forms."

"Oh yeah."

"DEIDARA."

"Un?"

Kisame opened his mouth angrily, but didn't get a chance to say anything.

A little blob went sprinting past his feet, running over Deidara's bare feet. He squeaked slightly, and lifted his leg as if something had bit him. Kisame raised an eyebrow. "What the hell?"

Then Itachi went sprinting by, cloak flapping as he ran.

He sprinted off down the hallway, leaving the two at a loss for words. Kisame cleared his throat. "Itachi, what the hell are you doing?"

Itachi stopped suddenly in his tracks, and spun around to stare at the two. Kisame was staring blankly at him, his face covered with feelings of bemusement, humor and fear. Deidara scratched his cheek once more, and blinked twice.

"Weasel, what the hell is up? What was the thing that ran over my foot, un? I blame you!" His voice rose with escalation, a frown gracing his face. Itachi blinked, and wiped some sweat off of his forehead.

"Boogle."

"What about weasels, weaselboy?" Deidara said coolly, folding his arms. "What ran over my foot, un?"

"I told you before, idiot. Boogle."

"What the hell is Boogle?"

"A group of weasels."

"Leader-san's rabbit."

Deidara stared at Itachi. "No freakin' way, un. Leader-san doesn't have a rabbit."

"Yes, he does," Itachi sighed exasperatedly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. Kisame could sense the impatience in his voice, something which is hard to find. "I have to take care of it for a week." Kisame frowned slightly, and rubbed his chin.

"Why you, Itachi-san? I mean, you're a mentally unstable twenty-two year old man who killed off his entire clan and tortured his little brother more than once. Did they actually think you had the skills to care for a rabbit for a week?"

"Obviously," Itachi snorted. "Why else would I be chasing a rabbit right now?"

"Speaking of which, where did it go?"

Itachi cursed, and sprinted off again, leaving Kisame and Deidara standing at a loss for words in the hall.

"…Wow. What a weird and awkward moment, un." Deidara murmured, stroking his chin. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Hey, are you gonna give me those papers yet?"

"…Un?"

After about 20 minutes chasing the rabbit, Itachi caught up with it. And that was when it ran away again, into his room, under his bed.

And that was where Itachi, Kisame and Deidara were now. Itachi lying on the floor, crooning to a rabbit, with Kisame and Deidara snickering all the while.

Kisame had stood up after lying on the floor and let out another giggle-snort, while Deidara hooted loudly, a large grin across his face. Itachi twitched once again, and seethed, "H-Here, bunny-bunny…"

The rabbit twitched its nose slightly, and made a slight grunting noise. Itachi resisted the urge to grab the thing and rip its head off, and said in a strained calm, steely tone, "Here, bunny bunny…"

Shinobi must keep in control of their emotions, no matter what. Itachi knew this.

But oh GOD, he couldn't stand this little bunny.

Itachi bit his lip in concentration, reaching out to the bunny. It leant slightly towards him, until…

"It bit me!" Itachi scampered backwards slightly, shaking his hand in the air. There was a large bite mark on his right pointer finger, and blood was streaming out of it. Itachi shook it again for a moment, and glared viciously at the blob under the bed. It made another grunting noise and slunk back further away into the far crevices of underneath his bed.

Deidara snorted loudly and Kisame howled with laughter, slinging their arms around each other for support. The two slumped over in hysterics; Itachi looked poised to kill.

Kisame stopped laughing for a moment, scared for whatever Itachi was about to kill, but remembered.

Itachi was poised to kill a rabbit.

He began laughing again, setting Deidara off. Deidara screeched with laughter, sounding a lot like a dying cat. Kisame responded favorably to this by letting out another giggle-snort, making Deidara laugh even louder.

Itachi meanwhile, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, in a meditation pose, taking every ounce of willpower not to kill Kisame, Deidara and the bunny right here, right now.

Deidara and Kisame stopped laughing, but Kisame was still snickering, while Deidara wiped his eyes. Itachi climbed up to his feet, brushed dust off of his clothes, and said in an icy-calm tone, "YOU get it out."

Deidara snorted. "Piece of cake, un."

Deidara went down onto his hands and knees, and crooned softly, "Here, bunny-bunny. Don't be afraid, un." In the darkness, Itachi and Kisame could see the little bunny lean slightly towards Deidara's outstretched hand. It took a couple of steps forward, and Deidara moved his hand back slightly. "Don't be afraid, bunny-bunny, un." Deidara soothed, pulling his hand towards his body. The bunny followed it, and Deidara gently lifted it up into his arms.

Itachi's face dropped, while Kisame smirked slightly. "So much for the demon bunny NOW, eh Itachi?" He nudged Itachi slightly, earning a Uchiha Death Glare© from the young prodigy.

Itachi snorted, "Bah. That isn't a good feat."

Deidara, who was stroking the bunny in his arms, said in a spooky tone of voice, "It knows you're afraid, un."

Kisame snorted slightly, while Itachi made a huffing noise, his handsome face screwed up in a scowl.

"I'll take it."

"Sure, be my guest, un." Deidara said mockingly, handing the bunny over to Itachi. Itachi pulled it up to his chest, but the rabbit tried to jump.

Tried.

More like it leaped for the air but Itachi was still holding onto its legs so it really was dangling in midair, making grunting noises. It swung its head back and tried to bite Itachi, who dropped it. It landed with a splat on the floor and ran back underneath the bed.

Itachi twitched once more, while Kisame and Deidara hooted loudly at his expense.

One thing was for sure; the bunny won't get through this week alive.

Erm…no comment?