Trick Or Treat

Daniel and Selmak get confused and go caroling on Halloween, Carter kissed Jack, and Martouf is addicted to candy. Happy Halloween In August! Rated T for references to Alcohol.

A/N: This is my first parody fic, so please be nice and tell me what you think of it! Thanks!

Knock Knock

Jack sighed. As much as he liked kids, kids in big bunches on sugar highs weren't exactly his favorite thing in the world. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Sam at the door.

"I need candy. I ran out."

"Yeah sure." he said handing her a bowl full of candy.

"Thank-you!" She said rather enthusiastically and kissed his cheek. She rushed down the street and got in her car, and Jack slowly closed the door. What the hell was that about?

Knock Knock

Jack opened the door and the wry smile faded when he saw Martouf standing in his doorstep.

"Samantha has sent me for candy substances. Do you have any?"

"She just left with some."

"May I have some anyways?" He asked waggling his eyebrows.

"Uhh..." He grabbed him a handful of candy out of the other bowl he had. "Here, for the road."

Martouf smiled a big evil grin, Jack closed the door. This is getting really weird.

Knock Knock

He was greeted by the really strange sight of Selmak and Daniel singing drunkenly on his doorstep.

"Oh give me a home where the buffalo rome..." Just then Daniel fell on the bush next to the step and Selmak started giggling.

"Do you happen to have any booze?" Selmak asked.

Daniel began hurling in the bushes.

"Ewww... Daniel! That was my favorite bush! Now you got cold coffee and beer puke all over it!"

"'Scuse me." He said hiccuping.

"Don't Tok'ra have some natural cure for drunkeness?"

"No." Selmak hiccuped.

Teal'c approached the scene rather stoicly, "DanielJackson, Selmak, it is time for us to depart to Major Ferretti's Beerfest."

"But we wanted to sing happy birthday to Jack!" Selmak whined. "Happy birthdayyytooyouuuu..."

Teal'c picked up the hiccuping Daniel and flopped him over his shoulder like a rag doll. Selmak had fallen over some short time after he began singing 'Happy Birhtday', so he did the same with him.

"Teal'c, you might wanna take those two home."

"As I intend to, O'Neill. First I must get ColonelCarter. When I last saw her she was doing a strange dance on her dining room table. I believe it is called, the Macarana."

"Really, she seemed just fine when she stopped by for some candy."

"Looks can be decieving, O'Neill."

Teal'c carried the drunken boys away and put them in the car and drove home. Just then he heard a loud hiccup and it didn't sound like either Selmak, Jacob or Daniel. Teal'c laughed manically and drove off.

Jack shut the door again.

Knock Knock Knock

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" He said along with a string of curses that were clearly audible from outside. And when he opened the door, six cute little kids stood on his doorstep.

"Trick or Treat!" They all chorused.

THE END!