AN: This story if officially a year old. So I figured it was probably about time add an author's note. Originally I never did, this is not the kind of story that generates discussion as it's generally something you enjoy with a side of guilt. At least for me.

The OC here is pretty much a Mary-Sue, in the sense that I live through her as a way to deal with personal problems. I try to make her 'realistic' and flawed. Her ending isn't going to be perfect and happy. But it is what it is. A violent rape story about a girl who isn't good at anything and never really manages to escape her trauma.

Also, because this is my first fanfic, and I didn't continuously write before this, the writing sucks in the beginning. I mean just terrible. I can only go back and edit so much so...Read at your own risk.

Evelyn laid in bed in her darkened bedroom, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the muffled argument seeping through her wall from her parents bedroom. She couldn't actually hear any words, but the aggressive, biting tones prodded at her, making her feel anxious and guilty.

Evelyn didn't know much about the world. She was a 10 year old witch and only child, who lived in an isolated cottage somewhere in England. What she did know is that her mother was unhappy, and had been for a long time. She knew her father was angry at her mom for being so unhappy. Evelyn thought she somewhat agreed with him. Mom didn't have any real reason to be sad. She was beautiful, married, magical, and had everything she needed to live comfortably. There were lots of things her mother could do to have fun. There was their garden to explore, the orchard over the hill, she could ride their pony, draw pictures or write stories like Evelyn did to fill up her time while father worked. What more could mother want? Laying around and being sad all the time ruined the mood for everyone else and it really wasn't fair.

Evelyn rolled over to stare at the wall instead. She was tired of this, of them arguing about everything. Arguing about her. She thought about how this fight had started, and wondered if there was something she could have done or said to prevent it.

Earlier that night, She had bounced around the fireplace in anticipation. Her father appeared in a flash of green fire and stepped out to hug his daughter.

"Hey Honey, hows my favorite girl?" Her Father asked, speaking German. Evelyn loved that she and her father could speak German, as very few people she knew did. It felt like their own private form of communication. Even her mother didn't understand.

"Do you want to help me cook? " He asked after setting her back down on the floor.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed. Her father always cooked the food, since her mom "just wasn't raised to know how" in her father's words. She was definitely going to learn to cook too. Dinner was ready soon and she felt a sense of pride at having helped make something. Once at the table, Evelyn had sat between her parents who were seated at opposite ends across from one another. She told them about her day outside riding her pony around the outside of the orchard.

" How long were you outside by yourself?" her father asked lightly.

" um, maybe a few hours." she answered

"Shouldn't you be with her when she goes out?" That one was directed at her mom.

"She's fine, Axel, She's almost eleven and quit capable of taking care of herself. She doesn't need me watching her every move." Evelyn's mom had long shiny black hair that was currently pulled up in a haphazard bun. Her grey eyes flashing with irritation.

"What if she broke her leg?"

"Axel-"

"How long would it take you to notice?"

Her mother glared angrily down at her plate, refusing to meet her husband's eyes across the table. Evelyn had kept quiet, as she usually did during their arguments, and continued eating. She was pretty good at looking after herself, she thought about saying so but decided agaisnt it. She'd finished and picked up her plate, set it in the sink and sent herself to bed without a word.

A sudden bump from the other room startled Evelyn out of her thoughts, and the voices grew a little louder and more shrill. She pulled her pillow over her head and tried to drown them out. I'll be in Hogwarts by this time next year, she thought to herself. I won't have to listen to this anymore.

Evelyn stared around the dark, dusty store with apprehension. She and her father were here today to purchase her wand. It was a bit last minute, considering she was supposed to board the train tomorrow. But her father hadn't had anytime off work until now, and for whatever reason, her mother seemed to avoid going into public places like Diagon Alley. Evelyn gazed around but couldn't see the shop keeper yet. Her father was leaning against the counter, waiting with an even patience. "Maybe he fell asleep in the back." Her father joked in German. "These are the busiest few weeks of the year for a wand store. He's pretty old."

"Did you buy your wand here?" Evelyn asked in German as well.

"No, I didn't live in England when I got my wand."

"Good afternoon." Said a voice that startled Evelyn. An old man was now standing behind the counter. His large silver eyes seemed to be studying her, and his smile seemed genuinely happy to see them here, despite feeling a little creepy.

"Afternoon, Ollivander. I need a wand for my daughter." Her father spoke in English now.

"A latecomer then. Come here miss, which is your wand arm?" Evelyn walked forward and held out her dominant hand. The next hour passed by with Ollivander handing her wands, snatching them away, objects braking, but none of the wands seemed to fit. The ecentric shop keeper never slowed, rather he seemed to enjoy the challenge her match presented. He murmured to himself every time he put away another wand. Calculating things Evelyn did not understand about core and wood combinations. Finally, he handed her a wand and she felt it. A tingling in the center of her body that told her she didn't want to let go of it ever again. She flicked it and a few silver sparks appeared before her.

"Acacia wood, phoenix feather core, 10 ½ inches, slightly bendy. A rather unique wand, I only carry a few Acacia wands at any time. They're sensitive and subtle, unsuited for bangs-and-smells magic. They will withhold their true power from all but the most gifted, but when well matched is as powerful as any other. Phoenix feather wands are also quite picky, hard to tame and personalise, but show the best range of magic. I'd say this wand has been looking for you for a very long time." Evelyn stared at her wand. The way Ollivander went on, it sounded like her wand was alive, and not in the way that a plant is alive. This object had opinions, and apparently liked her.

"Seven Galleons then." Her father cut in. Placing the gold coins on the counter. "We need to get home and finish packing." They left the shop quickly. The sun was just beginning to set and the streets of Diagon Alley were much emptier than when they started shopping. Evelyn breathed in the mild summer air. Only a few more hours and she would be on her way to Hogwarts.

Evelyn stared around in awe at all the people in Kings Cross station, she had never seen so many people in one place her entire life! Most of them had trunks and pets just like her. She held on to her father's hand nervously the whole time. Of course she had been told exactly what to expect on the train ride, the sorting, the dorms, and she had imagined it a hundred times, but being here felt incredibly surreal.

"You okay there, hun?" Evelyn looked up at her father. He was a tall, broad shouldered, handsome man with a square jaw and hazel eyes. He had flaxen hair which he had passed on to his daughter. His minimalist but good quality robes reflected his practical attitude.

"Yeah I'm okay." Evelyn replied automatically. He bent down to take her in a tight hug.

"You're going to have an amazing time." He said warmly. "I didn't go to school here, but it's the best in Europe, and your mother loved it." Her mother, who was still in bed when they left, wasn't here to agree.

"Will you write to me tonight?"

"Of course," He answered.

"And remember to take care of Sugar?"

"I wouldn't dream of letting that fat little pony be forgotten."

Evelyn smiled back at him.

Then took a deep breath, and started pulling her luggage to the train.