A/N: so just a little fic I thought up yesterday.
Summary: Sometimes all a person needs is a friend who 'just knows'. Izzie centric. Somewhat recent. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: It's raining where I am and I don't even have proper socks, that's supposed to imply that you have nothing to sue my for. Not mine. Trust me if it was Grey's would be doing things a little differently.
Strawberry Frosting and Sprinkles
The clock reads 4:30 am. She doesn't have to leave till 7. She still has time to sleep but she can't. It's January 29th. January 29th always stuck out to Izzie on the calendar. The date seemed to smile at her. Not today.
Izzie doesn't have any trouble getting out of bed. She heads straight to the kitchen, without stopping at the bathroom or plopping down on the couch with a cup of coffee to wake her up. She is insistent on baking a cake. A vanilla one, with strawberry frosting and sprinkles baked into it. That's her favorite and she deserves it.
Izzie puts the cake into the oven and sighs heavily. They won't even notice, Meredith and Alex. Izzie's always off baking cakes and cookies and muffins, no one ever thinks anything of it. They would never even think to suspect that today, January 29th, is Isobel Stevens' twenty-eighth birthday. Why would they anyway, it's not like Izzie ever mentioned it to them.
Izzie rushes back to her room, knowing exactly what she wants to wear, a chick-yellow sweater with a simple pair of jeans. She knows it won't really matter in a few more hours when she changes into her scrubs but she doesn't care, it makes her happy anyway. She feels warm.
She gazes at herself in the mirror. She doesn't feel twenty-eight. She's never felt her age. When she was younger, responsibility made her feel old; as she'd age she'd feel gracefully young. She doesn't really know anymore. The sweet smell of cake creeps up behind her and reminds her that she must return to the kitchen at once.
She spends fifteen minutes frosting the cake as evenly and perfectly as she can, and she feels that there's nothing wrong with that, after all it's her birthday cake. Just as she finishes, she hears the sound of two doors opening simultaneously. The scrumptious smell must have caught up with Meredith and Alex too, for now they were making their way to the kitchen, zombie-like and still half asleep.
Without saying a word, Izzie cuts them each a slice of cake and hands it to them with forks.
Alex rubs his eyes, "Cake for breakfast? What's the occasion?"
Izzie hears him but doesn't bother to answer. She herself can't figure out what has changed. Izzie used to love declaring her birthday in front of all her friends; she loved the praise she'd receive when she turned one year older. All that didn't matter now.
Izzie decides to box up the cake and take it with her.
The carpool to work is a silent one. Meredith asks Izzie several times if she's feeling alright and Izzie assures her that she's fine; that it's nothing.
Bailey reminds everyone of their tasks and informs Izzie that she has been assigned to scrub in on a rare surgery with Shepherd and then she is free to go.
Cristina jerks up with envy when she hears about Izzie's agenda. Izzie doesn't look too happy though, she just stares at Bailey skeptically. The word 'why' slips out of Izzie's mouth. Bailey knows what today is, no doubt, it's probably written somewhere in her files, all she has to do is say it.
Izzie waits for Bailey to say, 'It's your birthday Stevens, go do something with it!' but all she gets is "Don't question my kindness Stevens," and all the residents who were eavesdropping attentively, continue about their business.
Izzie looks over at George. They've been through so much together and even he doesn't know about today.
Residents and Atttendings walk into the conference room at random times during the day helping themselves to the anonymously-baked cake, without even questioning its purpose or origin.
At a certain point during the day Derek approaches Meredith stuffing one bite after another in his mouth.
"This cake is delicious," he says with his mouth half-full
"I know. Izzie baked it,"
"She just… baked it?" he asks while wiping around his mouth with a napkin.
"Yeah, I guess. You know Izzie… she bakes," Meredith responds with a shrug.
"No one bakes something this good just because," he says with a smile.
For Izzie Stevens the day drags on slowly, one restless minute after the next. She scrubs in, she does her job, she learns, without asking questions, without showing excitement or gratitude or any emotion for that matter. Shepherd suspects. He looks up at her between every few stitches. And when she scrubs out, she gets to tell an anxious pair of parents that their five and half year old daughter died on the table today in the middle of a perfectly safe surgery.
It's the first time she's thought about the fact that while she's out celebrating, drinking, commemorating her date of birth, there are people dying for no good reason at all, for a simple mistake or complication.
Maybe that's what causes her to feel bad today, only it's not. Deep down she selfishly knows that the reason she is down is because the people in her life, the people she holds so close, know nothing about her, they don't even know it's her birthday.
She finishes getting dressed in the residents' locker room as Shepherd comes in and sits beside her. He's drained too; he lost his patient today too.
"The cake was good," he breaks the silence. She doesn't respond, "Strawberry frosting and sprinkles, always a classic," he says sincerely.
"It's my favorite," she manages to whisper.
He studies her for a moment, as she ties her shoes.
"Happy Birthday Izzie,"
Her head jolts up, "How did you…"
"Sometimes, you just know,"
She nods.
"Twenty-seven?" he asks.
"Twenty-eight,"
"I see," more quiet, "this feeling will pass Izzie,"
"Yeah, I suppose. Just not today"
"That's okay," he reassures her, "you'll be twenty-eight again tomorrow,"
She takes her bag and gets up.
"Thanks Derek," she answers, "for just knowing"
A/N: some commentary... I love Izzie, she's just awesome, but she hasn't really been living up to that awesomeness lately, sadly. I always thought that she would have a pretty dynamic relationship with McDreamy (although he hasn't been as McDreamy lately either) . What else? I love birthday stories (they should have character birthdays on the show, if you ask me), I believe I read a few about Meredith and I totally wanted to write one of my own, so there it was, hope you enjoyed. I ABSOLUTELY love your (as in you readers') input. So review at all costs! -ACM