Chapter 1; Confusion

Present time; July 1995

I had never in my lifetime thought that I would stand in front of Grimmauld place ever again, to stand here, ready to face my past, was something I had promised myself years ago that I would avoid at all costs. Yet, here I was standing right in front of the door, about to enter into a world I left behind fourteen years ago. I sighed as I thought of how long it had been since I saw him, fourteen years without as much as a glimpse of the face I had grown to love so much. Those piercing grey eyes, that cocky smile and the black hair, his face was forever inked in my brain, all of their faces were, Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Alice and Margaret.

You see, most of my life I had been fortunate enough to be blessed with happiness. I had a loving family, the most amazing friends and later on also a great man to love. But these are dark times we live in, and unfortunately for me, my happiness didn't last for long. In one night I had lost my best friends, the love of my life and my godson, and it was all my fault. That is why I ran away, kept myself as far away from them as possible, they didn't need me. But one night something happened, something I couldn't hide from them, which is why I stand here today, in front of Grimmauld place, the place I'd been avoiding like the plague.

I sighed and bit my lip as I took a step closer to the door, ready to knock, desperate times calls for desperate measures, I had to do this. I knocked on the door forcefully, waiting for them to answer. I stood there waiting for a few minutes, before I frowned and decided to give it another try, this time I knocked on the door harder, waiting impatiently for someone to answer. I leaned my back against the door as I waited yet again, taking a look down the streets of Grimmauld place, getting lost in my thoughts.

After a few minutes I was interrupted by the door flinging open and I found myself loosing balance and tumbling to the floor. Fantastic, I thought as I got up and dusted myself off quickly, and facing the woman that opened the door. She was rather short and was wearing an apron, also she had the most ginger type of hair I've ever seen and her face was bright red. She eyed me up and down before raising an eyebrow.

"Who are you, and why are you here?" she asked bitterly and I resisted the urge to take out my wand, not used to people talking to me like this.

"My name is not important at the moment madam, but with all respects, I thought this was the Black family home?" I asked suspiciously, looking her in the eyes, she straightened her posture and looked at me before answering.

"It is, now why are you here?" she demanded again and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I'm looking for Professor Dumbledore, and I've heard from a friend that this is where the order gathers these days" I said and watched as her eyes widened before she gasped.

"How do you know about the order?" she stuttered out and I rolled my eyes.

"Personal business madam, now can you please let me in?" I pleaded and she gave me another look before moving to the side, letting me inside. Once I got inside my eyes marvelled over the house, and my heart sank as all the memories from the past came back, haunting me of what's passed. As I noticed the woman looking at me, I quickly snapped out of it, and she gestured for me to follow her, and I did, ready to meet everyone.

"Professor Dumbledore is inside, they just finished an order meeting, I will go tell him that you need to see him." The woman muttered quietly and I gave her a small smile as thank you. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself as I heard the door opening and the familiar gentle face of Albus Dumbledore was in front of me.

"Leona Shaw, I was beginning to think I'd never see you again" he said, smiling at me and I gave him an unsure smile back.

"I'd never say never, fate always seems to bring me back, Professor." I said and he chuckled at first, but then frowned at my appearance.

"In all of the years that I've had the priviledge of knowing you, I've never seen you this gray, what is the matter my child?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Nothing of importance sir, I have other more important things to discuss with you." I said, barely getting to finish my sentence before the door opened and I was suddenly surrounded by four boys, two girls, Remus, Sirius and some other people I did not know of. I took a look at them and my eyes filled with tears when I spotted Harry, I recognized him immediately, he had Lily's eyes. I was interrupted by a familiar voice, and as I looked at him, my heart immediately started beating fast.

"What are you doing here, Leona?" he whispered and I felt the tears running down my cheeks.