DOBE

Disclaimer: I am eternally grateful that the characters aren't mine. Else, there'd be hell to pay from the censors board. Only the humor and the plot is mine. I desire nothing more.

Pairing: SasuNaru

Warning: Yaoi. Cursing here and there.

A/N: I just found this idea funny so I started tapping my boards since the holy smokes doesn't want to bless my plot bunny for my Sweetest Downfall serial. Plus, I'm doing another romance/humor series. See? That's why I hate entertaining ideas for my fics.

Anyway, enjoy guys!

Naruto wasn't called a dobe for nothing.

In fact, everyone, especially the mighty Uchiha has every reason to call him that. But amidst all the name-calling Naruto's classmates did, they still didn't know the vital reason as to why Naruto really is one hell of a dead-last.

At least not yet.

It all started when they began insinuating situations and embarrassing notions to the oh so troublesome Shikamaru. It appears that Temari was there quite more often than needed. The gang, as Naruto would have put it, started their teasing again that day, with Ino suggesting a truth or dare game to Shikamaru. "Dare might insinuate something too troublesome so let's just stick to truth." Ino snickered. And without further ado, she dropped the bombshell. "All right, truth it is. Have you and Temari kissed yet?"

Sasuke could have sworn to all existing powers that be that should he be given the chance to do things all over again, he wouldn't come back to the village if his everyday would turn out to be this way. But all his introverted cussing was cut short by Shikamaru's unsurprisingly, bored response. "Aah. I may not look like it, but I try to make an effort to make her lips do that pout." Everyone else started laugh. Who would have thought there's an evil glint to Shikamaru's eyes when he's saying something about Temari? The laughing just wouldn't die down until an overpowering voice shushed them out. "Why are you all laughing? Shouldn't that be quite insulting? Shikamaru's making Temari pout. That's not a very good thing." Sasuke really wouldn't want to kill all of them for looking at the dobe like that, but he really couldn't help it, considering how Naruto's talking about something so out of the topic. "Besides, he didn't answer Ino's question whether he kissed Temari or not." Everyone looked at Naruto, somehow blinking in disbelief. Hell, even Sasuke was surprised that Naruto didn't get what Shika was implying in his answer. Sasuke felt Sakura shake in irritation. "Naruto-baka! Of course he did!" Naruto now sat on his heels, seemingly agitated by his missing of the answer. "He did? He did? Ne, ne, Sasuke, did you get Shika's answer?" "Hn." Sasuke scoffed at the blonde, then looking away. "Of course, Naruto. Everyone who's at least kissed somebody would know that." Then there was silence.

Bingo.

Naruto stood up, panic too evident on his face. "Ano, I remembered I have to do something for Iruka-sensei. So… Ja!" And in no more than a moment more, he was gone. Collective gasps from the girls, a sigh from the men, and a stammering silence (with a saucer of an eye) from an Uchiha bid the blonde goodbye. "Did he just admit that he hasn't kissed anyone?" Choji asked, munching away the last of his chips. "You've got to be kidding me! No wonder he didn't get Shika's joke! I pity him. Come to think of it, he's the only one here who haven't kissed anyone. Nice, dobe!" Heads nodded in agreement. All did except for one, who had a pea of a smile and a look of irritation plastered on his face.

Indeed, he was a dobe. But Sasuke didn't want anyone else calling his dobe, dobe. He needed to do something about it. Right then and there he declared that the remaining days of the week are the last days of everyone's dobe.

Because by the end of the week, the dobe would only be his dobe.

And all he needed was a lust-induced Kakashi to help him get the gears going.

Keep the reviewing spirit alive people! As you are reading this, I'm already typing up the next part. So leave a comment/review and the more you leave, the faster I work.

Ja!

Until the next chapter, LPM