Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were at potions class really early. At class, Slughorn was making potions for only Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They all drank the potions.

BBBUUURRRPPP! Slughorn was rolling on the ground laughing.

"That was a burp potion I made. Do you want to make it?" said Slughorn.

"Sure." said Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Good." said Slughorn. "You can help me so we can give them to the other kids. Just when they were done, kids were coming in.

"Drink your potion on your desk!" said Slughorn.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPP! The burp was so loud that windows broke.

"Why did you do this to me?" said Ernie. "My mom is going to kill me because I burped it class!"

"It's ok. I will tell your mom." said Slughorn.

Harry was just putting on his Quidditch robes and he didn't tie it so tightly. So at Quidditch, Harry went up-side-down in the middle of the Quidditch field. He was up-side-down so his underwear showed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Harry was so embarrassed so he flew all the way to the common room.

"It wasn't that funny. The only funny part was when it showed Batman on your underwear!" said Ron.

"Boo!" said Malfoy. "I learned how to get in without the password. Snape told me."

"Then if you want to know, then get a pizza and give it to the Fat Lady. Then she will let you in."

At night, Snape put a bomb instead of a golden snitch. When Harry caught the bomb at practice, the bomb blew up and then Harry looked like a mad scientist with wicked hair.

After the practice, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to Hagrid's hut. When they got in, they saw carrots everywhere!

"Hi!" said Hagrid. "I'm on a rabbit diet to be not cold when winter comes."

"How do you go on a rabbit diet Hagrid?" said Hermione.

"Just eat carrots." said Hagrid.

"Cool! I think I'm going to go on a rabbit diet too!" said Hermione.

"She's stupid." said Ron.

At the feast, Harry ate a chicken. When he did, his mouth was on fire. When he drank some pumpkin juice, there was smoke in his mouth and smoke coming out of his ears.

"What's with that chicken?" Seamus asked.

"It's probably a chicken with flaming-hot spicy sauce on it. It usually burns people's tongues out." Hermione, who was eating carrot cake, said.

"Oh, no! Harry's going to have his tongue burned out!" Ron shouted. So everyone in the Great Hall took buckets of water and dumped them on Harry's head.

"You're not supposed to put them on his head! They're supposed to be on his tongue!" Hermione said.

"Oi! Have all of you turned stupid! You're supposed to give him beer!" Ron said.

So everyone gave Harry beer. Harry had his mouth open, so people cast off beer into his mouth at the same time.

"Can't you see that smoke is coming out of his ears! You have to put beer in his ears! And no beer! Milk!" Ginny said. So everyone used up the entire supply of milk in Hogwarts. They dumped them into Harry's ears and smoke stopped coming out.

Snape entered the Great Hall. "You could have used a spell, you know!"

"You could have told us that before! Everyone is so stupid!" Hermione said. "Anyway, Harry's smoke stopped."

Note: Harry turned mute on account of his burnt tongue, and turned deaf because people dumped milk into his ears. But Madam Profrey was on vacation to Antarctica, so she couldn't put things right until she came back.

The End