I Smile

I feel the cold metal hit my skin, tear it, ripping through my soft flesh. I cannot begin to realise the amount of pain. All I know is that I'm staring into the eyes of my murderer.

Romeo moves to speak to me, but I turn; I don't understand what is exactly happening, it's as if everything is moving slowly, as if the world itself was slowing down to a sudden halt.

I push him away; his concern hurts more than this wound. And I begin to laugh, the movement sending such excruciating pain through my stomach I gasp. He moves to me once more and I push him away again; he cannot see me like this. I laugh again.

The hurt cannot be much

Or can it? He doesn't realise; he is innocent, he is a virgin, he has seen nothing of the world and knows nothing of the horrors it can bring. I have watched my mother and father crumble to disease, my entire family, excepting Escalus, dead. He cannot understand what is about to happen.

You shall find me a grave man

I laugh again; if I laugh it cannot seem anything is wrong and nothing is wrong and everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. I will not die.

I look down, I turn away as I look at my stomach that had been shielded by my arms up til now. My smooth beautiful skin, youthful skin across my stomach...my skin and flesh has been stabbed and slashed...messily...harshly. I cannot die.

A plague o' both your houses!

The words echo through the empty back alleys and I see Tybalt stare at me, with such shock, disorientation, fear, I would never have recognised this Prince of Cats...turned to a mere kitten with murder...

They have made worms meat of me!

I fall and am caught by...him. He stares at me, face and body splattered with blood and scratches... twere it only a scratch and I would be standing. I am screaming at him, I hardly know what I am saying, I hardly know what life is anymore. He speaks and sobs, the men of Montague surrounding us, grave in their faces and countenance, none as grave as I.

I thought all for the best!

I stare at him in shock; he still doesn't realise. My body is shaking with the death grasping at it and still, my fair Romeo, does not understand. He doesn't understand me. I am just a friend. All the strength is sapped from me, I cannot begin to explain, I cannot begin to think of how to explicate all that he means to me. He his face is compassionate, loving even but love like that of a brother. He can never understand and with my death mere seconds away he will never know.

A plague o' both your houses!

Everything stops, he is there, standing alone over me.

I see death.