A/n:
We are siblings (4gVn SoUl and Artemis Fowl II) and as such we have decided to write a crackfic. As this is a crackfic this will be the only serious note in the story. As this is the case we thought we would inform you that this is a crackfic with a difference. On both our accounts the same story will be posted under the same name however, both parts won't be the same…
On AF2's account the story will be in Arty's POV and on 4gVn SoUl's account it will be in Holly's POV. This may sound stupid but reading both points will help you to understand it better.
As we have had our final sensible comment for the story, we shall commence with the crackyfickyness (see, it's started already :D)
Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and any of the associated characters are soul property of Eoin Colfer. Oh well.
AF2 and 4s commence with consuming vast quantities of sugars and E numbers XD
Snap in your Tea?
By 4gVn SoUl
And
Artemis Fowl II
- This story is set after the Time Paradox but Julius isn't dead. 'Why?' You ask.
'WHY NOT!' We answer..
This means that every good guy met so far is alive and possibly included…
Obtw Arty's Mum doesn't know anything yet. -
Chapter 1: Hold on to your Granny Pants
Holly was bored. When Holly is bored people get hurt. She decided to spike Artemis' tea ( as you do). As she walked by a newspaper (LARGE SPONGES EAT FORT KNOX!) she began to prepare the Snap (fairy halucinagenic/prozac/alcohol).
As she was doing this she found herself inhaling more of the fumes than she should have. She began to feel dizzy and flying spatulas began circling her head so she ran.
Then Holly heard an indistinct scream and was convinced that THEY had found her. It was actually Artemis but she still yelled "You're one of THEM!" to which Artemis replied "So's your Mum!"
Then Artemis Fowl Senior showed up. "Hey kids! I have a rope, a pitchfork and 5 rolls of duck-tape. WHO WANTS BREAKFAST?!"
Artemis' mum came running saying "I DO, I DO, I DO!" and then adding, in a confused voice "What's breakfast?"
Meanwhile Holly was standing hunched over wringing her hands and muttering "Who wants to be a millionaire?" over and over again.
Then Butler walked in awkwardly as if some one had chucked several knives at his man-bits.
He then said in an extremely high pitched voice "Artemis, I think we need to have a talk but first I need to de-wedgieficate myself."
Artemis replied with a rather sarcastic "Woof."
Holly looked out of the window and yelled "ZOMG! MULTIPLE QUANTITIES OF BLUE DUCKS!"
Artemis shouted "Quick Butler! You deal with them and while you're at it, stop taking helium!" and threw him out of the window to the faint cries of "What's a duck?" from his mother.
Then the ducks ate everyone. And then a bread gun appeared and shot them all. Suddenly everyone was alive again. So there, you bitches!
Holly said "Well at least you aren't acting like you have a stick shoved up your…
A/n:
SPORK!