Washing Away the Shame
One-Shot, Angst. Hermione does something that she is ashamed of. She doesn't something in the heat of the moment that can never be undone.
Ignores book 4 and 5 in my little head
Washing Away the Shame
Hermione stood at the entrance to the great hall where the Yule Ball was being held. She was nervous, so nervous that she had agreed when Ginny gave her a drink to loosen her up. This would be the first time where she would be seen as a girl. She wouldn't be seen as Harry Potter's sidekick, Ron Weasly's obsession, or Draco Malfoy's enemy. A girl.
She didn't have a date but she wasn't going to let that destroy her evening. She was going to have fun; she was going to dance with anyone who would dance with her. She was going to do things she never had the courage to. This was her night and she was excited to get it started.
The doors opened and many people gasped when they saw that the bushy haired girl wasn't as ugly people had expected. She also showed that her body had a form underneath the robes of hers.
Throughout the night she had had the time of her life, she had danced with Ron, Harry, Longbottom, Fred, and George.
She could have even sworn that Draco had given her a few hungry glances also. She just felt full of sunshine and light. She walked over to a corner out of view of everyone by the exit as she fixed her hair that had been falling out of the clips. Before she knew what was happening she heard yelling and screaming. It was Draco and Pansy.
"You little whore!" Draco yelled at her as she had a smug smile on her face. The teachers were about to pull Draco away. Pansy was sitting on Blaise kissing him. Pansy had just revealed that she had in fact been sleeping with Blaise for a year, just as she and Draco started to date.
Draco pissed stormed towards the exit before the teachers could get to him. They didn't bother knowing he was leaving. Draco stopped at the wall opposite of Hermione. He didn't even see that she was there. Draco slammed his fist into the stone. Hermione heard a painful moan from Draco. His hand was now crimson from blood. Hermine gasped, he had deeply scared her.
"Granger?" Draco said looking at her, His eyes scanned her form.
"Wow, who knew you were a girl." Hermione took that into great offense.
"Hey, just because your girlfriend was cheating on you doesn't mean you have to be rude, Malfoy." She brought her hands to her hips.
"I was complimenting you."
"Oh." Hermione didn't know what to say to that.
"I don't fucking care anymore that she was cheating on me. I knew from the moment I met her she was a little skank but just the pride thing you know."
"Pride and repetition can be overpowering." Hermione said leaning against the wall.
"You have no idea." Draco stated.
"I understand why you get it, but you don't get it the way I do. You don't know what it'ls like to not ever be with anyone. At least you know what it's liked to be with someoen even if its only for a moment. You don't know what it'l like to be unwanted." She stated looking down.
"You're not unwanted." Draco stepped closer to her filling the space between them. Draco grabbed her hand and pulled her into the dark corridor. He pushed her up against a wall and kissed her.
"What are you doing?" She asked her voice breathy.
"Kissing you." He said it as he did it again. This time his lips moved from her mouth to her neck and Hermione let in a gasp. That was her sensitive spot. She put his hands on the back of his head.
"Malfoy." She groaned.
"It's Draco." He said before biting her earlobe.
"Draco." She moaned.
"Come with me." He urged her.
"To?"
"My room." He said with a smirk.
"I can't Draco. It's not right."
"A lot of things aren't right. Just say no and I'll leave you be but say yes and I will take you for the rest of the night."
She wanted to say no, she really, really did, but she didn't.
"Yes." She said and the moment the words left her mouth he grabbed her hands and pulled her to the slytherin tower and he led her to his room. Hermione didn't even have time to look at where the infamous Draco Malfoy lived before he pulled her to his bed and laid her down. He started to unbutton his shirt as he kissed her.
Everything seemed to be in a haze. It was so unbelievably wrong, what they were doing. It was bitter and dangerous and so utterly perfect in every way.
Draco ripped out the pins from her hair none to gently and entwined his hands in it, pulling her closer. The kisses were feverish and rough, certainly not what the kisses in fairytales are like but then again, this was no fairytale was it? Hermione would have let out a bitter laugh if her mouth hadn't been preoccupied. He was only doing this because he didn't have Pansy to fuck anymore. He didn't want her. He didn't care about it. He hated her and she hated him.
Draco had found heaven. This was what he'd been dreaming about for so long and now it was a reality. It was even better than he could have ever imagined. Breaking the kiss for a moment, he smirked down at her as she let out a breathy moan and rubbed herself against him. As their eyes connected, he had to do everything in his power to stop himself from spewing out some love poem. There was time for that later.
It was really all a one big blur. Their clothes were gone before their eyes and he was inside of her.
During the whole thing, there was one thought that kept running through both of their minds.
So this is what it's like to be alive.
Hermione awoke and she looked around. She was confused about where she was. Then all the events from the night came flying back and it was too much to hold. She then saw the looks on her friend's faces when they found out, Draco's look of disgust when he woke up. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let people find out.
Hermione didn't even get dressed. She grabbed her wand out of her secret pocket on her dress and wrapped a sheet around her before she ran. She didn't care where but she ran. She couldn't believe what she had done. As she ran she was happy when she realized no one was awake. She was running all these thought running through her head and she elbowed a figure but didn't care. She just kept running. She had to run. He figure turned out to be Harry and Ron under the invisibility clock.
Draco woke up and found Hermione gone. He saw her clothes but no Hermione.
"Where could she go without her clothes?" He got dressed and started to wander the halls looking for her.
Hermione kept running, just kept running. Everything was screwed up and she knew it. Her world was fucked because she had been weak. It was in ruins because she'd wanted to feel alive, if only for a moment. The life was gone now though. She felt dirty, like she wanted to scrub away every inch of skin he'd touched until she was raw and bleeding.
She then stopped at moaning Myrtles bathroom and skidded as she stopped quickly. She fell to her knees, panting heavily from the running, and was happy Myrtle wasn't there. The sheet was barley hanging on her body, her hair was unruly, her eyes red from tears. She had no right to cry though. This was all her fault. She fell to the ground her hands over her crying face. What had she done? She slept with the enemy. She'd all but proven that she really wasn't anything but a dirty, mudblood whore.
She knew what she had to do. She had to make it all go away. It was almost funny how she'd created her own little personal hell in one night.
She had to make these feelings and emotions stop. She had to make it so they'd never haunt her again. She was so ashamed. She was going to burn away the shame. She grabbed her wand, stood up and stared at her form in the mirror. What she saw disgusted her. Letting out a loud sobbing scream, she punched the mirror as hard as she could. The glass shattered and imbedded itself in her hand. She watched with morbid fascination as the blood started to seep out.
There was a tube of bright red lipstick some girl had left lying on the floor among the shards of broken mirror. She picked it up and scribbled a quick note on the wall, her blood mingling with the lipstick.
She pointed her wand at the piece of mirror that was still intact and screamed
"Avada Kadavra!"
With that Hermione's breathless body fell to the ground. Moaning Myrtle came in and screamed. Within seconds a shirtless Draco came in and saw her. His body ripped with agony. Harry and Ron come in seconds after. They all look at the broken mirror on the wall it said in crimson red.
"Pride and Repetition"