Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. Everything belongs to their respective owners.

A/N: ... I had to. Sorry. To all my author-friends in the seaQuest fandom who like Twilight, I apologize. I have nothing against it, really! I just found the idea of this conversation actually happening quite funny. In fact, I find the prospect of Buffy running into the Cullens to be downright hilarious. I feel like she'd be very confused or very… distracted by their shininess. Either way, I'm sure it'd be entertaining—and not in a bad way! I'm sure there are other stories on here that are written about that premise but I feel like going through all the crossovers to find them may be something I don't have time for at the moment because of work being so crazy. So if there are any good ones, please PM them to me in the meantime? Thanks!

Disturbed

Buffy walked slowly into the Magic Shop, sitting at a table. She wasn't sad or depressed, just... quiet.

"Are you okay, Buffy?" Anya asked her.

"Ever see something so..." Buffy visibly shook.

"Sure, lots of times. Rabbits, Xander naked, Spike, that time a large slug demon-"

"Not quite like that," Buffy interrupted her. She shook her head and stood. "Never mind. Is Giles around?"

Anya frowned, concerned at the memories dredged up by the Slayer's question and with not having seen Giles yet today. "No, he-"

"Thanks."

Buffy left, headed for the graveyard. If Giles wasn't around, there was only one other person who might be able to help her with what she saw. She'd rather of called Angel instead but that was... well... yeah.

She threw open the door to Spike's crypt without warning, sending sunlight shining throughout the dark space.

"For the last time, can you please knock?" Spike asked, throwing himself into some shadows.

Buffy shut the door quickly.

"If you insist on coming by here, you could at least do that much."

"Have you ever seen a..." she felt dumb asking, so she stopped halfway through. "Never mind." Maybe she should track down her Watcher, or man-up and call Angel. She knew Spike would only mock her.

"Seen what?" Spike asked, taking a few steps toward her now that there was no sunlight endangering his afterlife.

She smiled, embarrassed. "Forget it, it's dumb."

"So you came by here to bother me then?" he asked. "I'm not an amusement park for to spend time at until you're ready to go home."

"I know," she said defensively. "I had a question about something I saw on the trip up North."

"To Seattle?"

She nodded. "When Dawn and I went."

"Demon?"

"Sort of... To be honest, I don't really know."

"Have you talked to your Watcher yet? You know, the one you're supposed to ask these things of?"

Buffy had had enough of his patronizing. Her hands on her hips, her expression said Fine, I'll tell you! so she asked, "Spike, have you ever seen a vampire sparkle?"

Spike looked at her for a long moment, then burst out laughing. He doubled over, unable to control himself.

Buffy kind of giggled, too, but really wanted to know the answer. "I'm serious, Spike. It really happened and... It was very disturbing. And quite distracting, actually."

Spike wasn't taking her seriously, though. He was still laughing.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

He tried to straighten up and get serious but it only lasted for a few seconds and he was back at it again.

"Spike, I need to know! I saw him attack a human, drink blood— all that crap. Only when the door got kicked open by his friend, he didn't burst into flamey goodness—they both sparkled. Stake did jack squat, too."

That made him stop. "Not a vampire, then?"

She pointed to her neck. "He had her by the throat."

"Lots of demons do that. Heck, I've seen humans do it over the years."

"So, not a vampire?" she asked.

"You're the vampire slayer, you tell me!"

She placed her hands on her hips again. "So vampires don't sparkle?"

"Only Angel, with his pretty, prince-like get up, knight in shining-"

"I get it!" she interrupted him. "Ha-ha-ha. Hilarious."

She turned to walk out the door and was still inside it enough to hear him say, "What's hilarious is you thinking vampires sparkle. How many years have you hunted them? HA!" as she walked out the door.

Not a vampire, she told herself, no longer feeling disturbed. Vampires don't sparkle. I've been doing this for too long.

She shook her head, smiled, and went home.