Title: "Cold As You"
Date Penned: 4.9.2008 but typed and edited 10.12.10
Main Character(s): Roxanne and Chandler
Author: Slo Motion (a.k.a. Alexa)
Rating: K+ for like one or two 'bad' words(not really, but you can never be too sure with crazy people like the PTC running around these days XD)
Genre: Angst, one-shot
Main POV: 3rd person-ness(my own cool word) all the way
Character Death: None
Coupling: Past Chandler/Roxanne, Roxanne/her angst XD
Song(s) Used: "Cold As You" by Taylor Swift(I'm a bit ashamed to admit I enjoy her music)
Setting: Season 8. It's been one month since Charox(my gosh I haven't used that couple name in ages) broke up
Disclaimer: 7th Heaven is not mine and neither is the song "Cold As You".
Summary: Sometimes we say what we don't mean in a vain attempt to hide our true feelings. Just ask Roxanne.
A/N: This story is something I found with a bunch of other random writing projects of mine(like crappy poems and really stupid song lyrics I wrote that will never see the light of day). I remember that I wrote this at a time when I was feeling this same way towards(love/hate) a guy who had broken my heart, so it's a bit personal(and emo XD). In fact, this could be a scene from my life if you replaced Chandler's name with mine and Roxanne's with me ex-boyfriend's(yeah, gender reversal XD). Not that anyone/anything will ever make a play/book/movie/anime/anything about my boring life.
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray…
Chandler approached Roxanne in a local park on a rather gloomy and cloudy day. He really wanted to talk to her. They had broken up the month before and hadn't been on good speaking terms since.
He sighed inside of his head. It had been a pretty bad breakup. He had been the one who ended the relationship and it left Roxanne in tears and him feeling numb inside. He felt bad for hurting her, but their relationship was going nowhere and he didn't want them both to waste their time on something that had no point. Chandler really hadn't meant to make her so mad or to cause her tears.
He and Roxanne had been good friends before they started dating and he wanted to get back to that place. While he may not have wanted a romantic relationship with her anymore, he still wanted to be friends. He missed the way they could just talk and laugh with each other for hours and not worry about anything. That was why he wanted to talk to her, to see if they could put any ill feelings behind them and resume their friendship.
But Roxanne had other ideas. When she noticed her ex-boyfriend walking towards the park bench she was sitting on, her eyes narrowed in anger as she held back the urge to let tears fall. She wasn't sure if the tears were due to anger, heartbreak, or a mix of them both.
Roxanne set her angry eyes upon Chandler, "What do you want?"
Chandler took a deep breath and tried to look as cool and composed as he could, "Can I talk to you, Roxanne?"
Like hell I'll talk to him was the first thought that crossed Roxanne's mind. Her anger and defiance only escalated with those words, no matter how caring and noble his intentions were. In her eyes, all she saw was an unforgivable shell of a man crawling back to be ripped apart.
Just like you did to my heart, you bastard. If possible, Roxanne's eyes narrowed even more as she spat out her venomous response, "Go away, Chandler."
Chandler's eyes softened from their calm state considerably as they filled with hurt, "Please, just hear me out."
Don't you even think of begging, loser, Roxanne's inner voice snarled. To match her thoughts, she said her reply in the coldest voice she could manage to find within herself, "No."
"Why not? All I want is a minute of your time to talk to you and work this out, can you please just listen for just a second? Please?" Chandler begged.
Roxanne finally allowed the extent of her anger out as she raised her voice, "Can I just listen? CAN I JUST LISTEN? No I cannot just listen, you bastard! And you know why? Because you lead me on and sweet-talked me like I was a baby and, when you were done with me, stepped on my heart and crushed it like it was garbage! You made me want to crawl under a rock and die, you know that? So no, I will most certainly not 'hear you out!'"
Chandler went wide-eyed with both guilt and sadness, "Roxanne…"
"Go to hell, Chandler," Roxanne's voice may have been calm again but that didn't mean the overwhelming coldness and anger still wasn't present within it.
"Roxanne…" Chandler could not think of what to say other than scorned woman's name. He hadn't realized how deeply he had hurt her and with each sad word she had said, he felt his heart slowly ripping apart with guilt and the overwhelming urge to collapse in pain.
The same cold tone remained in Roxanne's voice as she repeated herself, "You heard me, go to hell. Burn while you're there."
Chandler's voice was now shaky, "I-I just wanted to say I…"
"I sad burn in hell," Roxanne replied, each word seething with hatred and venom.
Chandler couldn't do this anymore. It was all too hard to deal with Because, although her words were cold and cruel, at the moment she voiced her hurt he had realized just what a mistake he made letting her go. Now all he wanted to do was take her into his arms and kiss her deeply as he professed his love and gave her an endless string of apologies for ever making her pretty face become filled with such anger and sadness.
But at the same moment those hateful words came out, he also realized that their relationship was now broken beyond repair. The same also went for that once happy friendship the two used to share. Roxanne wasn't ever going to listen to him. She was too wrapped in her own anger to realize that he too was hurting when they parted ways.
"Fine, I give up. I just can't get through to you, no matter how much I beg for you to hear me. You're just too damn stubborn for me to bear. Maybe we can talk once you grow up and stop being such a child about this, but I doubt that will ever happen. So goodbye, Roxanne," As he turned away from her and began to walk away, Chandler was horrified at his own set of cold and venomous words.
He really didn't want to hurt her any further, but he had no choice. It was best for both of them to cut their ties with each other and move on. No matter how much he may have loved and cherished Roxanne, Chandler knew that they'd be better off apart than together. They were just too different to have any kind of stable relationship.
Goodbye, my love, Chandler thought. And for the first time in this bitter encounter, he allowed his tears to fall as he walked away.
As for Roxanne, she simply stared at the retreating man and yelled to his back, "Good, and don't come back! I don't need you! I hate you, Chandler!"
But after he was totally out of her site, Roxanne's eyes filled up with tears. But these were not angry or hateful tears, these were tears of loss and regret.
"Why couldn't I just say it? Why was I so hateful and horrible to you? Why couldn't I just tell you that even though you broke my heart to pieces, that I still love you," Roxanne spoke to the air around her, wishing for her beloved to come back and reply that he felt the same.
But, at that moment, there was only silence.
Roxanne's tears continued to fall, "Of course you won't reply, I made you walk away."
Silence again.
"I love you, Chandler."
And then the gray sky opened up and cried with Roxanne as she sat on that park bench, alone and broken.
A/N: Oh my god, that was so freaking depressing. I didn't realize how emo it sounded on paper until I typed it out. Also, I know they seem OOC(but let's be honest, were the writers of 7th Heaven ever really good at developing her characters beyond their names, ages, and jobs?), but like I said, this was more personal than it was meant to be fanfic-ish(another one of my awesome made up words). But, anyway, I don't know if anyone will read and review this, but if you do, thank you for putting up with this emo-fest and I hope I didn't make you too sad(not that my writing is good enough to actually depress someone XD) .
-Slo Motion(I REALLY need a new penname. I've had this one since, like, 2005. o_0)