Hoshi no Kaabii: Deleted Episodes
Welcome—a drum roll, if you please!—to our new fanfiction. Based off of Hoshi no Kaabii (Kirby of the Stars/Kirby: Right Back at Ya!), it consists of chapters that are like episodes. They're what you might call the "unaired" episodes that got cut out and were sprawled all over the director's floor. We managed to break into the studio one day wearing a whole crapload of useless spy gear, black tights, and a ski mask each. Armed with only a peanut butter sandwich and twenty-seven hamsters, we stole the scraps of footage. And then using a grappling hook, we swung out the nearest open window and onto Godzilla, our get-away dinosaur.
There was no way we'd have been able to repair the lost footage with only duct tape and Elmer's glue, so we had to settle for writing it out.
Now, you may be wondering: "Why the heck aren't you both in jail for theft/plagiarism/breaking and entering/ and smashing over a hundred buildings while escaping Japan?" We've also asked ourselves this numerous times; we're inclined to think that Masahiro Sakurai, Yoshikawa and all of the other animators, playscript writers, voice actors, and so on beamed happily and took off their hats to us as we rampaged back to mainland screaming, "THE WORLD WILL KNOW!" They smiled, oh yes they did.
From that moment on we knew that it was our destiny: to take over Canada with weapons of math destruction (rulers, protractors, etc.), and re-write the unseen episodes of Hoshi no Kaabii (Hey, they had to cut out some of the episodes in order to have the show end at exactly 100 aired). So as to not confuse you—in honor of its Japanese origin—all of the characters will retain their original Japanese names. Below we have compiled a brief glossary for reference.
– sam & alex
A Dictionary for Dub Watchers
Names to the left are the ones that will be used (minus Maberu) and are the Japanese versions used in Hoshi no Kaabii. The names to the right are the translations, comparisons, and English dub names (with the exception of Kaabii) which will NOT BE USED. If a name is kept as it is that's because it's the same thing in both the Japanese and English dub.
Characters:
Kirby — Kaabii in Japanese.
(King) Dedede — kept as Dedede.
(Doctor) Escargon — Escargoon in English dub.
Fumu — Tiff in English dub.
Bun — Tuff in English dub.
Tokkori — kept as Tokkori.
(Sir) Meta Knight — kept as Meta Knight.
Sword (Knight) — kept as Sword.
Blade (Knight) — kept as Blade.
Memu — Lady Like in English dub.
Parm — Sir Ebrum in English dub.
Waddle Doo and Waddle Dee(s) — kept in original names.
Lololo — Fololo in English dub.
Lalala — Falala in English dub.
Mayor Len — Mayor Len Blustergas in English dub.
Hana — kept as Hana.
Chief Borun — Chief Bookem in English dub.
Sato — Buttercup in English dub.
Mr. Curio — Prof. Curio in English dub.
Maberu — Mabel in English dub, and also will be used as such on our fanfiction, as the two are generally both used in Japanese and Americanized
episodes.
Samo — kept as Samo.
Tago — Tuggle in English dub.
Gangu — Gengu in English dub.
Kawasaki — kept as Kawasaki.
Gus — kept as Gus.
Moso — Melman in English dub.
Iroo — Spikehead in English dub.
Hohhe — Iroo in English dub.
Honey — kept as Honey.
Yabui — kept as Yabui.
Doron — kept as Doron.
Biburi — Bibli in English dub.
Knuckle Joe — kept as Knuckle Joe.
Silicia — Siricia in English dub.
Nightmare — eNeMeE in English dub.
Customer Service — Frontman, NME Salesguy in English dub.
Animals and denizens of Whispy Woods — these names are the same in both languages, so no problems here.
Items and Places:
"Suika" — watermelon, Kirby's favorite snack! (Kirby often uses this phrase; even though he can't talk, in the episodes he often repeats words.)
Pupu Village — Cappy Town in the English dub.
Pupupuland — Dreamland in the English dub. This semi-tropical country is located on the Planet Popstar. (As you all should know; if you don't, then why the heck are you reading this fanfiction?) Its only known and largest town is Pupu Village, inhabited by Cappies and travelers from the north and south. It never snows here. Dedede is the "dictator"-in-charge.
Unmentioned Guest Characters, Demon Beasts, Et Cetera:
To shorten the list we're basically putting that all of the demon beasts and guest characters will also be retaining their Japanese names, unless they're the same freaking thing in English like the animals and demons are. Depending on what the scraps of footage tell us, we may not find episodes that were supposed to air with certain characters. Oh! There's a roll of footage here that looks promising! It has a picture of Bun in a dress! Now that looks like an interesting episode...
IMPORTANT! IMPORTANTE! TAISHITA! CONSIDÉRABLE!
Characters, plots, settings and all Kirby related things are © Nintendo. If we did own them, however, then Meta Knight would have to sing karaoke for us every night, all the Cappies wouldn't have cinder blocks for brains, and Watermelon Day would be an official holiday in every country on Earth.
A/N: Everyone is pretty much kept in character. Bun might act a bit too much like an ignorant brat, but he's always been a blunt and honest kid in the series. Seriously. Anyway, he has good intentions—they just got a bit out of hand. Fumu is still snappish, smart and kind, and Meta Knight is—well, Meta Knight, of course! In this case, it's a whole new side of inexperience! (Don't forget that he hasn't seen everything, the know-it-all.) That's all we can say without giving too much away. (Suggestions are appreciated.)
This fanfiction is rated for obvious reasons. (Mild cursing and implications, but nothing too bad. The actual show in the Japanese does include this stuff, so don't say that we didn't warn you...)
Deleted Episode 1: Guilt Trip
"Your Majesty, please slow down!"
The sun just barely crested the edge of the horizon, milky light barely illuminating the dark and tranquil path Dedede and Escargon were taking through Whispy Woods. It would have been a beautiful sunrise worth waking to—if they had been in the mood or right place to enjoy it.
Escargon panted and stopped on the steep, vertical hiking trail to shrug off his large and ridiculously over-sized backpack. "Dedede!" he yelled up ahead, his voice cracking slightly. "Can we stop to rest? My feet are killing me!"
The always blunt and unsympathetic voice shouted back, "You don't have any feet! Now pick up the pace!"
Cursing and grumbling under his breath, Escargon hitched on his luggage and scampered the last quarter mile after His Majesty.
The trail leveled out on a grassy plateau. Here the trees thinned out, revealing a course river that at some point hit the nearby ravine and cascaded down the sheer cliff side. Escargon blinked; more of a naturalist then his companion, he was awed by the rather majestic sight.
"Is this the place?"
Dedede spun around and nodded proudly. "Yep," he answered, grinning. "And now, all we have to do is lure Kirby out here, get him close enough to the edge, sneak up behind and—wham!"
He mimed shoving something and let loose a malicious cackle. Escargon beamed.
"Genius."
"No more Kirby! And the best part is that I don't need to order a demon beast to do the work for us! Let sweet Mother Nature rid us of our pink pest, cash free."
Escargon set down his backpack and stretched, suddenly looking uncertain. "You know, I still see a gaping hole in the plan."
"Eh?" Fury crept across Dedede's face. He looked insulted. "What do you mean? There's not a flaw!"
The snail tried his best to look innocent, yet at the same time sound logical. "Let's think about it. Those brats are always at his side. Even if we do manage to split them apart, how can we lure him out here without Kirby not spotting us, and then, just perfectly timing it right—virtually impossible—push him over the cliff without us toppling over instead?" Escargon allowed himself a deep gulp of air. Pleased with himself, we waited for Dedede's reaction. To his disappointment the king still looked smug and unimpressed.
"Simple. He's stupid and we're not. Besides, I don't see Kirby being to resist—this!" From within his festive jacket he withdrew an apple.
While Escargon accepted the apple to study Dedede went on: "No one would question a bunch of apples littering the ground. They drop like rocks around here, and Kirby'll just go on eating them. Then when he gets here we'll leave him with a meal large enough to distract him and he'll be too busy to notice us coming up from behind."
"But apples falling in a perfectly straight line?"
Dedede thrust his face forward and leered unpleasantly. "Have you ever known anyone crazy enough to go in here and come back out?"
Chuckling darkly, he swiped back the apple and took a bite.
Escargon gulped. "Other than Moso, the kids and Kirby? Just you and I, Your Majesty." Suddenly cottoning on, Escargon grinned. "This is too perfect! And with Kirby finally out of the way..."
"...No more interruptions! No more nosing around! The kids would be too heartbroken to try and stop us, Kabu can't move, so what's he gonna do? And Meta Knight is loyal to us. We'll have no more problematic pests!"
Satisfied, the two "friends" allowed themselves a moment to perfect their "evil laughter" and cackle into the rising sun. Unknown to them, they weren't alone. Bushes rustled, and two pairs of eyes blinked from the darkness.
"I can't believe them," hissed Fumu scornfully, drawing back to brush nettles out of her hair.
Bun withdrew his head and joined her in the undergrowth, scowling. "Man, would I love to get my fists on them!"
"And what, get smacked around with his mallet and then get kidnapped? No, thank you." Fumu sniffed.
Bun gave her an affectionate nudge. "Aww, c'mon!" he protested. "Meta Knight taught you how to fight, didn't he?"
"Well, yes," Fumu admitted reluctantly, "but that's for self defense, not assault." She sighed. "We should go back and warn Kirby."
Earlier that morning Bun had woken up feeling particularly thirsty. A glass in hand, on his way back to his own room he had spotted Escargon and Dedede slinking around. Something about their crafty behavior had made him nervous, and he had alerted his sister. Silently—having a firsthand experience of the forest's geography—they had managed to track them without being noticed as far as the waterfall.
Before Fumu could turn to leave Bun grabbed her wrist. "Wait." He pointed back toward the river. Following his gaze, Fumu realized what he was referring to: Dedede and Escargon had their backs turned toward them and were bending over the water.
She gaped at him. "You wouldn't."
"I'm not going to push them," Bun replied, looking insulted that she'd think that. "I'm just going to spook them. And with all that equipment they're carrying, they'll never be able to keep up the moment we run for it. What a great entry, too; it won't look bad for us if we burst into the town with those two on our heels, hellbent on catching us—again."
Fumu narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. She couldn't help but admire his bold and daring plan, but the thought of giving him the satisfaction of knowing that annoyed her. "B-but," she stammered at last, "you can't be serious. That's still a big risk."
Her brother shrugged. "Fine. You go back and I'll spook them and run back to Pupu Village. Be a chicken."
Fumu snapped. "I am not a chicken," she retorted in a hushed voice. "I just have more common sense! I'd rather give Kirby a fair warning than go risking my own neck! What if we get captured? Then Kirby would be dead."
Bun still didn't look worried, nor was still listening. In fact, he'd already left the shelter of the brambles and was stealthily creeping behind rocks and boulders, edging closer to the unsuspecting duo.
Fumu slapped her hand across her face, leaving a red hand print. "The things I do, you'd think I was suicidal," she complained. Scanning for cover, she ducked out through the bushes and flattened herself to the grass.
When she caught up with her brother, Bun and Fumu nervously edged closer. A few meters away, they could hear what Escargon was saying:
"—and because he'll have eaten all those apples, it'll ensure that he can't swim out or fly."
"The current will be fast enough to bring him straight toward the drop, right?" Dedede inquired.
Escargon nodded. "Guaranteed," he confirmed. "And if the height and speed of his fall don't kill him, then the rocks at the bottom surely will. And by then, no one can do a thing about it."
"Except rat on you."
Escargon and Dedede let out yelps of surprise and jumped back. Losing their footing, the two began to teeter on the ridge of the bank. One weighed down by the backpack of heavy gear, the other by his own protuberant body mass, they easily slipped and splashed into the frothing rapids.
"Ha!" declared Bun triumphantly, punching the air. "Teaches you to be more careful next time about who you let overhear!"
Though Bun was an oblivious hothead, Fumu caught on rather quickly when she saw neither of them resurface.
"They're drowning! We've got to help them." Fumu gasped.
"Hey, wait!" Bun yelped, dodging in front of her with his arms extended to bar the way. "It could be a trick! They might try and drag you in! Then my efforts will have been in vain. Besides," he snorted, "it's not like they can't float, let alone swim."
Fumu tugged her hair in frustration. Grabbing his face, she swung Bun around so that he was able to see a half-hidden sign covered in thick ivy: DANGER — STRONG CURRENT.
"Kirby can't read that, and apparently neither can you!" snapped Fumu, releasing her brother's jaw.
Bun rubbed his sore face and stared back defiantly, holding his ground. "Let 'em. It's not like they're actually going to die!" He let out an amused chuckle. "Besides," he joked, "even if they did, wouldn't we be doing the village a favor?" Seeing her astonished and malevolent glare, he tacked on hastily, "I was kidding, I was kidding! Look, if you're so concerned run up ahead and see if they managed to drag themselves out of the water."
"Bun." Fumu had to take a deep, meditative breath in order to control her anger. We're wasting time. "If they survive the drop ahead then the rocks will impale them like sheets of paper."
Saying that, she turned on her heel and rushed off downstream. Bun lingered; then, against his better judgment, grudgingly took off after her, yelling, "Hey, wait!"
The two followed the winding current, keeping their eyes peeled for any sign of Dedede and Escargon. It seemed that the two hadn't managed to swim to shore in the violent water. Worried, Fumu kicked in a second gear and sped up. Though in the past the two had always managed to survive all the danger that sprang up from their scheming, she was still concerned. Bun followed promptly.
As they cleared the last stretch of forest they found the precarious drop to the falls. Water sprayed the ravine side and cascaded down some fifty feet. They stopped short, and with a gasp Bun cried, "There!"
Dedede and Escargon clung to a gnarled branch that grew crookedly out of the cliff face. Actually, Dedede was clinging to Escargon, who was still somehow keeping himself and Dedede up.
Fumu sprang forward to the last stretch of rocky outcrop and chanced a look down. The view wasn't pretty, and made her uncomfortable. The dizzying height showed just how high up they really were. Dedede certainly hadn't pick this place for the scenic view—below, the torrent emptied out into a large pool with deep channels. Rocks studded the rippling surface like spearheads. The mouth of the pool emptied out into another, much calmer river. It vanished into another grove of Whispy's trees.
Fumu crept forward slowly, carefully to keep her footing. Behind her she could hear Bun scuffling in her wake, breathing heavily. Swallowing the last of her fear, Fumu stretched out her hand to Escargon.
"Grab hold!" she yelled over the roar of the pounding sheets of water.
Escargon looked gratefully at her. As he adjusted his grip and let one hand free, his limb began to tremble and the weight doubled.
Dedede gaped, and—unable to keep his slippery grip—let go.
"No!"
To Fumu's amazement Bun threw himself onto his stomach and grabbed Dedede's flailing arms. The two locked eyes, and Dedede jerked. Bun began to slide forward.
"You're—too—heavy," Bun grunted through bared teeth. Sheepishly, he added, "Sorry, but I have to let go."
"WHAT?!" snarled Dedede, and a second later he plummeted into the endless mist below as Bun withdrew his clasp.
Out of shock Fumu let go of Escargon without realizing it. Ignoring his petrified scream of, "Arggghhhh!" she rounded on her brother with pronounced fury. "How could you let go of him?"
"You're one to talk," snapped Bun, rubbing his sore wrists. "You just let go of Escargon, hypocrite."
Fumu turned ghost white. "I did what?" she gasped, and spun back around to face the drop. Escargon was indeed gone.
Both crept side-by-side and gripped the ledge tightly, staring down through eyes glazed with shock.
"We—we let go," whispered Fumu, trembling.
Bun swallowed. "C-Come off of it," he laughed weakly. "I'm sure they're fine."
Not daring to contradict her little brother, Fumu drew back sharply and beckoned with her hand. "Hurry up and follow me. I saw a way down on the other side of the valley—a way that doesn't involve us getting wet."
"Any sign of them?" Fumu asked.
Bun rounded a bend in the brook and approached wearily. Both of them were at the base of the perilous drop, searching for any signs of Dedede and Escargon. While Fumu had checked around the pool, she had sent Bun ahead to scout the river as far as the meadow on the edge of Whispy Woods.
Bun slumped toward his sister and slid to the ground with his back to the bark of a tree. "Nope," he panted, banging his head against the wood. "Just this." He held up Escargon's backpack.
Fumu snatched it from him and turned it over, shaking it violently. Empty.
"Drat," she fretted, throwing it on the ground angrily. "They couldn't have just vanished!"
"Sis."
Chilled by the nervousness in his voice, Fumu didn't dare meet his gaze. "Yes?"
"I don't think that they "just vanished"—look." Pointing with a shaking hand, Bun gestured toward one of the spiked rocks. Caught on the tip of it was Dedede's snowballed hat.
"I'm not swimming out their to get it," Bun told her firmly.
Fumu shuddered. "That doesn't matter. You do know what this means, don't you?"
"Uh." Bun looked at her nervously, flinching away. "No, I—I don't."
"They're dead." Fumu gave him a long, despondent look. "We killed them, Bun. We're murderers."
"No, it can't be true. Are you sure on this?" Bun looked nervous as he waited for her answer.
"Yes," Fumu declared. "There are no signs of them or their bodies anywhere. We silenced them once and for all."
"What? Are you nuts? We tried to save them!" Bun retorted. "How does that classify as killing someone?"
"We both stood by and watched them get carried away by the rapids, both near drowning, fully aware that they could fall over the edge. That's one point against us already! And then we let them go—and you dropped Dedede on purpose!"
"He was fat!"
"It doesn't matter." Fumu fell to her knees and sighed. "They're gone, and the law is against us. Now we've got to turn ourselves in—"
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" roared Bun, jumping to his feet and rounding on her furiously. "You want to go to prison?"
"There's yet another law that says if we don't report the incident then we still go to jail! That's strike THREE."
Bun rolled his eyes. "That's the most ridiculous crap I've ever heard," he spat. "Look, no one saw us, right? They'll just assume that Dedede and Escargon are out and about doing king-related stuff. So what if they never show up? They'll get worried, but no one actually likes the guy."
"Doesn't matter," Fumu waved him down. "Chief Borun is a workaholic. He sticks to the rule book like glue; even if it's for Dedede, who's constantly breaking the law, he'll still turn us in because he's duty-bound."
"That's a right old slap in the face." Bun sulked. "But," he went on cautiously, "if no one ever found their"—he gulped—"bodies, then no one can exactly blame us, so as long as we keep our mouths shut. We're so often saving the town that we'll be the last ones they suspect! Chief Borun would probably arrest Kawasaki before us."
"But suppose that—by some miracle—they do come back," reasoned Fumu. "Dedede and Escargon are going to shout to the sky that it was us who did it—and they'll make the story more exaggerated and dramatic than it really is! And even if nobody believes their exaggerated story, they'll still know that we knew they had fell to their near deaths, and neglected to tell anyone. We'll go to jail just for that alone."
"But you said so yourself, they're dead. Dead people can't turn you in to the law."
Fumu flinched, then let out another sigh. "I suppose you're right. We should return to the castle, and decide what to do from there as soon as things... settle down."
"I second the motion!" Bun piped up eagerly.
As both began to turn away the eldest sibling paused. "Bun," she said nervously, "perhaps we should say a few words? You know, if they're still—lingering around."
Bun didn't argue. Instead he nodded, looking uncharacteristically regretful. "Sure. You go first?"
Fumu scampered toward the water's edge—then, thinking quickly, she backtracked a few feet to pick a lily off a bush. Bun muttered something that sounded like, "You're so cheesy," before joining her.
"Dedede? Escargon?" Fumu spoke to the mist—after all, who else was she supposed to talk to?—"We're really, really sorry that you...died." A cold lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed bitterly. "We didn't mean it, and for all those times you tried to destroy the village—well, we forgive you. And we hope that you're both at peace."
Fumu elbowed Bun sharply in the ribs for him to say something. He squeaked out in pain and gave her an edgy look. He reluctantly accepted the lily.
Addressing the mist, Bun began. "Ditto to what my sister said, and if you're vengeful spirits, then please don't haunt us. It was all Fumu's fault, and if you come back as ghosts then be warned: I'm getting holy water and garlic."
Finishing his speech, he chucked the lily. It briefly hovered in the breeze before gently tapping the surface. Ripples echoed out from the single vibration in small rings that quickly subside. The gentle, lapping waves drew it back into the mist under the cascade of foaming water, and it vanished.
"Well." Too choked up to check her brother's rudeness, Fumu turned away. "Let's get going if we want to be back before our parents notice we left."
The two quickly turned away and fled into the land veiled by mist and trees. Over the roar of the waterfall, brother and sister didn't hear a single, deep hoot call out from a nearby oak tree.
Perched from the rim of a weathered hollow, Coo watched them vanish through narrowed, intently thoughtful eyes.
Back at the castle's gates, Bun and Fumu paused to catch their breath. Mist had rolled over and hid them for the most part of their journey, though they had still clung stubbornly to the fading shadows just as the sun rose higher in the sky, now moving slightly past the horizon line.
"If this is what being an outlaw feels like," groaned Bun, trying to make a joke, "then I don't know how Midwestern folk could stand it. It feels like we're being hunted, eh?"
Fumu could only nod, on the way back she had sobbed and grown tight-throated. Despite Kirby and Dedede's continuous rivalry—where the king almost had Kirby close to the brink of extermination—she couldn't help but feel remorseful. It was their fault, and never had Fumu dreamed of stooping to such a low level such as murder, however unintentional.
Bun noticed her grief-twisted face and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "Come on," he encouraged her brightly. "I don't know about you but I'm starving! I can almost smell Mom's pancakes."
Brightening, Fumu followed her younger brother across the lowered drawbridge. The moment they crossed the moat into the courtyards Waddle Doo stepped out from behind a hedge.
"Hi!"
His rather sudden appearance startled them, and both let out yelps of terror before careening backwards into the stone wall. Waddle Doo blinked his single eye in surprise.
"It's just me," he assured them, hurrying forward. "What are you guys doing out here?" he questioned them, offering them each a hand.
"What are you doing out here?" Bun retorted, hopping to his feet.
Waddle Doo let out a tinkly chuckle. "I'm on guard duty, and as the head guard around here it's my job to ask the questions." He smiled—or, what they thought was a smile. Having no mouth, it was impossible to tell.
Fumu swallowed nervously, feeling pressured. "We—we j-just we-went out for...for..."
Teeth chattering, Fumu couldn't continue.
Waddle Doo looked at her in concern. "Does she have a cold or something? Her nose is running."
"Oh, yeah," Bun intervened quickly. "We went for a morning jog and she caught something. We decided to head back early before it got any worse."
"Early?" Waddle Doo snorted. "It's early now. Hardly past seven, mind you. But that's thoughtful." His gaze softened, and he stepped aside. "Hurry up to the castle. I'll tell my troops not to question you for being out so early."
"Thanks," Bun said hurriedly, ushering his sister along. As soon as they were out of earshot he muttered, "Yeah, right, as if they can talk."
"Wait!" Waddle Doo called them back. "Have you seen His Majesty or His Excellency? He wasn't in his chamber this morning when I went to rouse him, and none of the sentries reported spotting him either. And Escargon-san wasn't in his usual seat in the dungeons broadcasting, so I figured you'd seen them."
Both of them let out muffled gasps. Glancing over his shoulder, Bun yelled back nervously, "N-Nope! Haven't seen—seen them i-in ages! Gotta go, bye!"
And they hared the rest of the way across the courtyards.
Their trip was quick as they worked their way up through the castle's many levels, reaching their floor. Glancing around corners, they paused at intervals. At one point Fumu had to grab Bun by the strap slung over his shoulder and haul him into a broom closet just as Meta Knight walked by.
"Close one," she muttered hoarsely. Their bolt continued.
At last outside their own family's living quarters, Bun allowed himself to breathe again. Very slowly he tiptoed forward and opened the door. Fumu slid past him, and her brother stepped backward, closing the door behind him noiselessly with his hand still gripping the handle.
"WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?"
There was no mistaking the ominous snarl. Startled, they spun around face-to-face with their mother. Parm hovered in the background, looking anxious and possibly scared of his own wife.
"Beds empty? No note?" breathed Memu angrily, hands on her hips. Her eyes flamed dangerously. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"We—we went for a morning jog not far from the castle. You know, that small g-glade south of here by a mile," lied Bun meekly, lowering his eyes. "We thought we'd be back sooner, but Fumu caught a cold and that made the return trip slower."
Memu's anger ebbed slightly when she noted how much smaller and crestfallen Fumu looked. "Well," she huffed, "I can't blame you. You're both capable of taking care of yourselves, but still! It's dangerous out at such an early time. I raised you both to have more common sense than that. You could have tripped in the dark, or—or walked off a cliff!"
Fumu hiccuped slightly and looked away. Bun stiffened.
Memu sighed and gave her daughter a long look. "It's nothing to cry over. Just tell us next time. Hn?" She took a few steps toward Fumu. "Are you okay, dear?"
"She's fine!" Bun quickly stepped forward and steered her sister toward their own rooms. "I'll take care of her; Sis here just needs bed rest! And look, we'll punish ourselves, too." Grinning awkwardly, he waved and egged his sister down a smaller hallway.
Bun then stuck his head out and added hastily, "We'll be in our rooms!" and retreated.
Their parents exchanged confused looks.
"Have we ever known our kids...to punish themselves?" Parm asked slowly.
Memu returned the look, equally worried. "Never. But I'm sure they'll be fine."
"That was close," Bun whispered as he sank onto the carpet. The two had taken shelter in Fumu's room to discuss what had happened in private. For extra measures, Bun had also opened a nearby air vent. Sound traveled through the duct from the opposite side of the wall, and if their parents approached they would have enough warning to pipe down.
Bun turned toward Fumu and pointed accusingly. "Look, you've got to calm down. As soon as you hear a word that's related to what—what happened..." He trailed off for a moment. "You break down! Keep it up and we're as good as turning ourselves in!"
Fumu sat up, looking slightly less ill. Her eyes shone. "I know. But I can't help it." She paused for a moment before raising her voice in an attempt to defend herself, "Give me a break!"
Bun threw his hands up and shook his head. " Well then toughen up—please! For our sakes," he begged. "L-Look, I'm as jumpy as you are, but we've got to play it cool. Lay low for a while, until it blows over or something."
"Have you ever heard of cases about missing people?" snapped Fumu, sounding more like her old self. "They spend months and months looking, and they still keep open files on the case when—perhaps years later—any new scrap of information resurfaces! Like a body or clothing."
Bun shook his head. "We just have to keep quiet," he insisted. "A plan of action will come later."
Fumu looked up at him and fixed Bun with an oddly penetrating, steely gaze. When she spoke, it was only to say in defeat, "Whatever we're going to do, we'd better do it soon—or else."
Three hours later and at Bun's prompting they walked down a street in Pupu Village, heading toward Kawasaki's restaurant. Both had agreed that some fresh air and some food would be good for them, and so far they hadn't heard a whisper about Dedede and Escargon's disappearance.
The familiar sight of the sliding doors cheered Fumu slightly. Despite Kawasaki's bad cooking it was a relief to be back in the familiar.
Just as she opened the door Fumu spotted the chef speaking with Mayor Len, Sato and Hana.
"—and Waddle Doo came here as well. He was frantic, and when Borun couldn't tell him anything it broke his heart, I think. He must feel like he failed as a guard," Kawasaki was saying, brandishing a butcher's knife. "He burst in so suddenly while I was slicing ham that he scared me half to death! I thought he was a paying customer at first," he added, as if an afterthought.
Mayor Len laughed, and was quickly silenced by Hana and Sato's firm glares.
At the word "death" both gave tiny squeaks of surprise.
As Kawasaki turned, preparing to say "Welcome," he found that the door was open with a cool wind blowing through it.
"I could have sworn..." The chef rubbed the back of his head. "Odd. Anyway, as I was saying—"
"That—was—too close—for comfort," panted Fumu, her back pressed to the restaurant. They were in the alleyway next door, wide-eyed and clutching their chests for fear their hearts might have stopped out of shock. Hey, it never hurt to double-check.
"I wonder if everybody knows now. Do you suppose it'll take long for the Cappies to start talking about it?" Bun asked worriedly.
"Word here travels fast," Fumu reminded him. "Give it an hour and the whole village will be gossiping about it." She laughed nervously. Suddenly the older sister grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out into the light.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Oh, be still and stop squirming," she ordered in a low breath, guiding him down another street. "If everybody starts putting two-and-two together then we'll need to figure out just what we're going up against."
"The punishment for murder?" Borun echoed, looking up from his paperwork. "What's got you interested in that boring old stuff?" Despite his words, he looked excited when it came to talking about his job.
Fumu and Bun stood side-by-side in the jailhouse before Chief Borun. Swallowing, Fumu answered as carefully as she could, "You see, I was brushing up a bit on Ancient Cappy law systems, and I wanted to do a compare and contrast of ancient punishments for murder then and now."
Borun seemed delighted. He stepped around his desk and ruffled their hair affectionately. "It's so wonderful to see kids taking an interest in law enforcement! Policeman and woman in training," he sighed dreamily. "You could take a page from their book!" he added sharply to Doron.
The kleptomaniac shrugged indifferently.
"Well, on a regular basis, prisoners like him"—Borun jerked his hand toward Doron again—"are locked up for short periods. Normally on petty cases, such as theft. In his case it's just because I don't like him." He gave a quick bark of laughter, then added, "But it depends on the crime. Murder is a large step up from general crimes."
Bun tilted his head. "I don't get it."
Borun smiled and sat back in his chair comfortably. "Well, there are three degrees of murder— First, Second, and Third. It depends on the scenario that dictates the charges and actions that must follow. Unless you have an example, I can't explain it any better."
Fumu rubbed her chin thoughtfully, before allowing a shrewd gleam to enter her eyes. "Say you—however accidentally—managed to cause someone to fall into something like a river. And this guy was of royalty. And you didn't try to save him—or them, if there's more than one—until the last second. And then while trying to help them you let go—on purpose, and they fell to their deaths. What happens then? And remember, this is all hypothetical." She blinked innocently at Borun.
The police captain frowned. "That's a toughie," he murmured, "and considering the circumstances, I'd say it's a good, long jail sentence to prison or..." He faltered.
"What?" asked Bun edgily.
"Well, sometimes, under certain circumstances the law's really vicious—and around here I'm the law, next to Dedede of course—and on very rare cases the death penalty is invoked."
"Death penalty?" the siblings echoed.
Borun nodded, looking grim. "We haven't used it in years, but, it was where your sentence was death." He shuddered, but it was impossible to tell if he was serious or doing it for the effect.
"The old way used to be by electric chair or killer bee swarms, but with the passing years it's become more modern in relationship to this century. A single injection from a needle and—well, you get the idea." He grinned and winked. "Makes you think twice about going to Yabui's for a shot, doesn't it?"
Bun and Fumu turned ghost white, and without an invite burst out of his station screaming their heads off.
Borun blinked in bewilderment and sweat-dropped. Turning to his prisoner, he asked in a disgruntled tone, "Did I say something wrong?"
Doron nodded in reply.
"Eh, what do you know? You're rotting away in jail."
Doron clapped enthusiastically and took a bow.
Under the great tree that occupied the town square, Fumu and Bun sat side-by-side on a bench. Dappled sunlight flickered across the cobblestone road and offered them some cool shade. It relieved them slightly of the sweat gathering on their foreheads.
Bun massaged his temples and declared quietly, "I've got to tell someone. At least we'll get food, and who knows? Maybe Kirby will come down to the station and visit us once in awhile."
"You can't!" Panic flared in Fumu's eyes like firecrackers. "You heard what he said. The death penalty! I'd read about that once and thought it was a joke, but..." She trailed off, unable to voice what she was thinking aloud. "You can't turn yourself in! Besides, you suggested not saying anything in the first place."
"'Secrets, secrets are no fun, they can really hurt someone'," moaned Bun, standing up. "Later."
Before Fumu could protest the green-haired youth began to walk toward a group of other motherly Cappies.
He isn't serious, Fumu thought. She strained her ears, and realized how wrong she was when Bun requested, "Can I tell you something? It's important."
"Sure, sonny!" said one with a warm, concerned smile.
Fumu gasped. Before Bun could open his mouth she dashed across the street and intervened. "Sorry," she huffed, inventing wildly. "He's practicing for his talent show, to see how desperate-looking he can possibly get. What a card, eh?"
Over-apologizing profusely to the dumbfounded Cappies, Fumu quickly dragged her brother away. Once out of earshot she released her grip on Bun and tapped her foot.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" she hissed. "Well, I hope you're happy, because it's working!"
Bun squared his shoulders and met her gaze steadily. "Isn't it bugging you?" he asked her. "Well, look, you got a chance to have your little "episode" earlier, so now it's my turn. Just try and stop me."
Whirling around, he stalked off toward the playground where Hohhe, Iroo and Honey were.
Before Bun had even opened his mouth Fumu let out a Jurassic yell and flew at him like a wildcat. She pinned him to the ground, panting. "Knock it off," she breathed. Then she glanced up.
The other three were giving her odd looks from the very athletic feat she had pulled off—and out of the blue, too! Grinning sheepishly, she stared down at Bun and poked him lightly. "Er, tag, you're it?"
"If that's how you play tag, then never ask me to join in," muttered Hohhe.
Honey smiled shyly.
Struggling to her feet, Fumu muttered, "Sorry," and led her wayward brother away by the ear.
"Oww! Stop it! That hurts!"
"Look," murmured Fumu, leading him up the raod that lead away from the town, "if you need to get it off your chest that badly then I know exactly who to go to."