He's not sure how, but suddenly he's not in his room watching Sebastian dust, smirking behind his tea, when suddenly he's laying down on his side, his pale ribs, hips and ass underneath a bright white light for display.

"What-"

He looks over to Sebastian who is wearing a long black t-shirt and slick black skinny jeans, the jeans bunched up and pooling around his ankles. The demon's hands were wrapped around his large erection, and seemed as utterly perplexed as Ciel.

Ciel opened his mouth again, then promptly shut it, thinking it probably get less awkward if he just laid their and pretended that Sebastian- his uptight demon butler that was currently masturbating- wasn't. Probably.

"This is quite strange," Sebastian said, examining his erect dick thoroughly. Ciel blushed, and he was certain his entire body was a light shade of rogue. "Normally I would not have this appendage."

"Y-you... what?"

"Demons do not have a penis. We do not need one to reproduce, and being as we do not need to relieve ourselves of urine, there is no need for one," Sebastian stated, tucking his painfully stiff dick back into boxers.

Ciel coughed awkwardly while Sebastian went on, "Witches must be at play. They like to play mischievously."

"Witches?!"

"Master, I'm disappointed. There are demons, angels and grim reapers and you have a hard time with witches?"

Ciel frowned, "Okay, pretend by some blessing of God I believe you. Where are we and why?"

"It appears to be an alternate universe- why I cannot explain. Probably because witches enjoy bringing others pain."

"And orgies," A voice said seductively from the doorway. A blonde teenager wearing only a bright purple thong and thigh high black hooker heels strutted into the room. He held out a hand. "You still owe me for that blow last week. I've got a pregnant girlfriend, so don't try jumping out the window again or I will take your wallet this time."

"Who the fuck are you?" Ciel roared, suddenly feeling extremely exposed with the blonde male hooker flaunting his clothed dick around.

"Trancy. And I've tried the amnesia thing before, it doesn't work. A hundred now and I won't press charges," The blonde said, crossing his hooker heeled feet.

Ciel groaned in frustration while Sebastian reached into his skinny jean's pocket and grabbed out a fistful of money. He shoved down "Trancy's" underwear and then went back near his Ciel.

"Thanks man," Trancy said, strutting back out the door.

"Find the witch. Now. I never want to see that again."

Sebastian smiled, "Yes, my lord. Unfortunately we don't play by our games, we play by hers. So I cannot just interrupt the story going forth."

"Then what's the next part of the story?" Ciel asked, throwing up his hands.

As if on cue, a blue book spiraled bound fell from the sky and landed in Ciel's lap. He picked it up gingerly and read the front.

Title: Mismatch

Summary: Cel is a unrly teenager who has a thing for naked model painter Sebastian Michaelis. He also fcks Alois because... i suck at summaries, R&R!

Author: SebfcksCiel07

"Oh dear lord," Ciel said, covering his face. "Do these people even go to grammar school?"

He flipped it open to one of the middle pages and blushed, "It's all smut."

Sebastian took the spiral bound book away and began looking through it. "We just had Alois come in... I paid him... so now you try to make a move on me, but I reject you because 'I'm a douche'."

Ciel frowned, "I thought a douche was-"

"My lord, in this day and age, a common item could be used as a compliment or a criticism. I do believe they are calling me something similiar to a gal-sneaker."

"This place is stupid," the bluenette finally announced, crossing his arms in a tight lock. "Why don't we just skip to the last chapter to get out of here?"

Sebastian flipped to chapter twenty-one, causing Ciel's lip to curl, "This shit got twenty-one chapters?"

"As well as four hundred and ninety six reviews," Sebastian reminded him.

Ciel groaned while Sebastian read the last chapter silently. The scene around them changed, and instead of an undecorated studio on the fourth floor, it was now an elegantly painted hotel room with roses decorating the bed and table. "Who the fuck wrote this?"

"Check the left drawer," Sebastian instructed. Ciel did so, opening the tiny door. It was then he realized that he was clothed- just in a long rock band tee and plaid pajama pants- but clothed nonetheless.

The drawer had several items, despite being only 9" x 13", and Ciel slowly felt his leg go numb at all the sex items put in it- rope, handcuffs, condoms, and many more that he had no idea what they were. "That's disgusting. Who comes up with this stuff?"

"Apparently SebfcksCiel07," Sebastian stated, taking out the silver pair of handcuffs. One part was clipped around Ciel's tiny wrist, and the other to the bar in the headboard. "Now, Master, would you like me to disrobe you or-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Ciel roared, struggling against the metal that was locking him in place.

"Following the story, as you instructed." Sebastian reached for the waistband of Ciel's PJs and slid them off his hips and then scrounged around in the drawer until he found a tiny bottle filled with clear liquid. It was labeled "Lube."

"You're supposed to be 'rock hard'," Sebastian said, a smile dancing his lips, "apparently you are now in the form of some sort of mineral."

"What-" He stated as Sebastian continued to grab items from the drawer. A taut piece of black cloth was wrapped and knotted around his mouth so that saliva was building up in the back of his throat and coming out between the crevices of his lips. A thin metal ring was slipped around the perimeter of his penis.

"Are you ready, my master?"