Audra's mind was in turmoil as she sat brushing her hair before dinner. The day had started with such promise…and turned so ugly. And she didn't understand why, though she felt it was probably her fault. Surely it had to be. She had spent most of the afternoon wandering around her favorite spots on the ranch, trying to find some answers and solace, but so far nothing had helped. At least at dinner she would have the boys' conversation to distract her.
A few moments later, she sat down to dinner and bowed her head as her mother said grace. Almost immediately, Nick started talking, of course. Jarrod and their mother piped in from time to time with commentary, and Heath answered any question that got thrown his way. Occasionally, she felt someone's eyes rest on her, and she tried to make sure she put in a remark now and then to let them know she was paying attention.
However, her thoughts kept wandering back to the morning and during one of these moments she noted that the table had gotten very quiet. She glanced around and found all eyes were on her. "I'm sorry; I was wool-gathering. What did I miss?"
Jarrod quirked an eyebrow. "I said you seem to be awfully quiet tonight. Is something wrong, honey?"
Audra smiled and attempted to shrug off the concern. "No. Everything's fine. Just a little tired, I guess."
Nick grinned and teased, "I'd say so. You were full of plans for your picnic with Bryce Van Buren this morning. How'd that go?"
She looked to her left at Nick's expectant face and tried to charm off her unhappiness. To laugh and say what a wonderful time she'd had. But her voice deserted her, and the smile she tried on faltered. Feeling everyone's gaze, she kept her eyes on her plate as she tried to speak without letting her voice break. After several deep breaths, she was able to say, "It didn't go well, Nick. In fact, it didn't go at all. I'm not quite sure what happened exactly, but it appears…I'm not good enough for the Van Burens."
"What?" That explosion, of course, came from Nick.
Looking at Jarrod, she saw concern, from Heath questioning, and from her mother solicitude as she reached to touch her shoulder.
Nick's protests continued, "What do you mean, 'Not good enough?' Who says you're not good enough? We got the sweetest, prettiest girl in the whole valley here, and someone says you're not good enough?"
Nick's indignation was enough to coax a real smile back on her face, and she turned to him. "Not that you're biased in the least."
"It's only biased if it's not true." Pause. "I think." Pause. "Isn't it?" Nick turned to Jarrod in confusion to get a lawyer's ruling on that point of order.
But Audra rescued him. "Nick, no one said it." She tried to clear it for herself again but to no avail. "But that was certainly the impression I got."
Her mother squeezed her shoulder again. "Perhaps you'd better explain it to us, darling."
Looking around the table, she sighed and tried to bring a confusing morning into clear focus.
The Van Burens had recently moved into the valley from back east. They had bought a large ranch and quickly settled into the area. Their newness, eastern manners and fashion, and obvious wealth had quickly made them very popular with the society minded group. A Van Buren acceptance or decline of an invitation generally made a party worth going to or not as the season had developed. A recent social event at a friend's house had brought Audra to the attention of the scion of the family, Bryce Van Buren. He was a handsome young man with dark blond hair swept back from his face. A dashing smile, a voice that carried across a room, a booming laugh, and a fabulous dancer—he had pretty much swept Audra off her feet. Her good friends had congratulated her on catching his eye, and her not-so-good friends had sighed in discouragement and jealousy.
Audra had been thrilled to accept his invitation to a picnic today. Not knowing exactly where they were going, she was careful in dressing. Her concern was that a pretty, feminine, afternoon dress would prevent her from keeping up if he picked a more remote location, so she decided to wear her royal blue riding suit. It was a knee length split skirt with a matching long sleeved bolero jacket. The Stetson matched the suit which she knew brought out the color of her eyes, and dark brown boots finished her ensemble. She left her hair long and used the hat's stampede string keep it off her face. The outfit allowed her freedom of movement regardless of where Bryce planned to take her. He had offered to pick her up at the Barkley ranch, but she had already made plans to talk to the director of the orphanage about a book drive and told Bryce she would meet him at the Van Buren house. Riding up the lane to the sprawling two story, she had been excited and a bit nervous about the picnic.
However, when Bryce opened the door of the house, she was quickly disabused of that notion. His quick smile of welcome had frozen in place the moment he laid eyes on her. He looked her up and down, and she realized immediately that something was wrong. He seemed surprised and shocked and disappointed. He quickly began to blubber and fumble over his words. When she asked him what was wrong, he abruptly slammed the door in her face.
She was flabbergasted and confused. She'd stood there several minutes trying to figure out what had happened. Finally, she knocked on the door again and then a third time when she didn't receive an answer. Finally, the door opened, and she found herself facing a very composed team of Bryce's mother, Abigail, and his sister, Catherine. Surprised to not see Bryce, she started to explain and ask what was wrong, but Mrs. Van Buren had held up a hand to stop her.
"Miss Barkley. Please. There has been a mistake. I'm sorry, but Bryce won't be able to see you today. You go on home now."
"But Mrs. Van Buren, he was just here and seemed fine but then got very upset. I just want to know what's wrong."
"Miss Barkley, there's been a misunderstanding. I regret that you came all this way, but Bryce will not be escorting you today. You should go home."
"Mrs. Van Buren, I don't understand. What's happened?"
Catherine Van Buren spoke up when her mother seemed to have trouble finding words. "Audra, you're...no." Deep breath. "Bryce was..."
Mrs. Van Buren spoke again, "Miss Barkley, as I said, there's been a mistake. Clearly, you can make your way home unescorted. Please do so. I do apologize that you came all this way. Good day." And with that parting statement, she turned and left Audra and Catherine standing on the porch.
Audra stood still, shocked by the sudden turn of events. "Catherine, did I do something wrong?"
Catherine eyed her briefly and chose her words carefully. "No, of course not. It's just that from his limited time with you, Bryce believed you to be somewhat different than you are."
"Different? He took one look at me today, sputtered an apology, and fled like I had a contagious disease. Unless I suddenly grew two heads, what's wrong with me?"
"Oh, Audra. Nothing's wrong. But it's just become clear that you are a very different young woman than he originally believed."
"Catherine, what are you talking about? What could he have realized in one look that he didn't know already?"
"Please don't be offended, Audra. Remember that we are from the east. Our background, beliefs, and values are quite different than yours. You are from the west and apparently quite self-sufficient. I believe that Bryce probably thought you were a bit more...maidenly...from his earlier impressions of you. You know, I doubt he's ever seen a woman astride a horse."
Maidenly? Audra was astonished, "So because I ride a horse in such a way that I would actually be in control of him instead of breaking my fool head in a fall, and because I wear clothes that would enable me to do so, I'm too much of a...tomboy...for him?"
"Audra, you're taking this all wrong. He just isn't used to such a boisterous personality in a girl. Most of the young ladies he courted in the east are retiring and somewhat bashful. You're so daring and independent."
Apparently daring and independence were not valued traits for young ladies in the Van Buren household. Audra had no idea how to appropriately respond and stared at the girl for several moments before bidding her good day and returning to her horse. She quickly mounted and turned to glance again at the Van Buren house. Noting that two separate window curtains dropped closed, she nodded a goodbye to Catherine and clucked her horse to a lope as she left the lane and turned to ride cross country toward home.
Coming out of the memory, she turned to look at the faces of her family as she finished the story. "I spent the rest of the day just riding around the ranch trying to figure out what was wrong with me."
Jarrod shook his head briefly. "For all their vaunted eastern manners, he certainly behaved like a boor. He sent his mother and sister out to break your date. What kind of man is that?"
"What kind of man? No kind, that's what. Anyone who gets rattled at seeing a girl astride a horse can't be much of a man anyhow! I've got half a mind to go over there and show him what a real man is and how a lady ought to be treated!"
Their mother spoke up, "Nick, calm down. Audra, I'm very proud of the way you handled the situation. I can see that you wanted to say more to Catherine, but you held your tongue, and that speaks well of you. Correcting her would have only made her and her family more defensive. And I'm certain that the gossips will start talking soon about the outcome of your rendezvous. The Van Burens have different values, and it wouldn't surprise me if his rejection of you doesn't eventually reflect badly on them. But your behavior only points to your impeccable manners."
Nick couldn't let it go. "Mother! You're saying it's all right that he rejected her because she didn't wear a girly dress? On a picnic? She dressed appropriately for the event he suggested and then he reneged because she did just exactly what she should have done?"
Victoria smiled fondly, "Nick, you'll have trouble understanding this because of the way your father and I raised you. In this family, mine and Audra's opinions carry just as much weight as yours, Jarrod's, Heath's, and Eugene's. But in most parts of this country, women don't have these rights. In fact, in general, they have no rights at all. They are viewed quite differently."
"Mother, that's not what I'm talk—"
"Nick. These values are exactly what I'm talking about. Married women and young unmarried women have almost no rights in most of this country. In fact, California has some of the most progressive laws in the United States for women. Here, at least, we are allowed to own our own property. In most areas of the country, a married woman and a young unmarried woman are considered the property of their husbands and fathers. They have no say whatsoever in what he might do with them, for them, or to them. The man can sell or trade any property his wife owned prior to the marriage including any she may have inherited from a parent or a previous husband. His wife or daughter must do whatever he tells her to do.
"And if that's how young Mr. Van Buren was raised, then he might well be threatened by the independence that Audra demonstrated today. How he has seen her at parties wouldn't show him the whole picture. Party manners are quite different than who she is when she's with us," said Victoria as she fondly rubbed Audra's hand.
Nick blinked in disbelief. "I can't imagine anyone thinking he could tell you what to do."
Victoria smiled at him, "Nick, you probably wouldn't know this, but I'm sure Jarrod does. If you had wanted to, you could have challenged your father's will because it left Audra and me an equal portion of his estate."
"What? I wouldn't do that, Mother. You know that."
"I know you wouldn't, Nick. But, legally, you could have."
Nick, Heath, and Audra all turned to Jarrod who answered, "She's right. And you might have won. It's only in the last twenty years or so that laws have been enacted in California that allow a woman to keep her own property separate from her husband's. Probate laws aren't quite as clearly delineated although a recent case has come up that may resolve that issue.* These laws aren't applicable in all states. Most states continue to give all rights of property and free will only to men."
Silence reigned at the table for a moment then Heath reached his hand across the table. Audra smiled at him gratefully and grasped it in return. He aimed a crooked grin at her then said, "I don't know much about all this, but here's what I think. Wild colts and fillies make good horses. Nick and I spend a lot of time tracking and catching and calming wild horses. Not that there's anything wrong with a horse bred in our pastures and barns, but a horse born wild has a spirit that never gives up. We try to bend the horse to our will, but not break it. When you can coax that wild horse into a partnership with a rider, that's going to be an unbeatable team.
"A man that recognizes that spirit in women like you and Mother, he's the only man that could deserve you. Someone who's threatened by that, he ain't gonna amount to much no how, and you're best shed of him. The right feller's gonna come along for you, Sis. And he's gonna see that spark in you, and he's gonna want it—need it—so bad that he won't be able to away from you. And he sure ain't gonna run and hide behind his mama's and his sister's skirts.
"There ain't nothing wrong with you, Audra. He's the one who's blind, and you're the one who's too good for him." And with that, he stood, came around the table, and kissed Audra on the cheek. "Come on, Jarrod. Let's go bumfuzzle Nick at chess."
Nick nodded, but his fond gaze on Audra quickly changed into dismay as he shot a look at Heath's departing back. "What? What do you mean 'bumfuzzle'?" He got up and quickly followed after Heath sputtering angry comments.
Jarrod grinned and shook his head as his two brothers left. "Well, as usual, Heath has explained in a very succinct and understandable way just what I wanted to say. He'd make a very good attorney, that boy. Audra, you're just the young lady you need to be. Nick's right, Van Buren's an idiot. You can do much better. And now, I better go get started 'bumfuzzling' Nick." He looked at Victoria and Audra, "Is that a word? Bumfuzzling?" He kissed them both and headed toward the study.
Victoria squeezed Audra's hand, and they got up and hugged. As they walked toward the doorway arm in arm, Victoria shook her head. "That really was abominable behavior. I can't imagine that's acceptable etiquette in the east."
Audra continued to wonder, "Mother, I just don't think the right man is out there. I always seem to end up with completely inappropriate men. There must be something wrong with me."
Victoria let go a small laugh, "I wondered the same thing at your age. And I considered behaving differently to try and attract a suitable caller. But then I began to consider how unhappy I would be if I couldn't be myself. So I resolved that I would soldier on as I really was.
"And when your father started paying court, he was never intimidated or embarrassed. He never asked me to change. He actually seemed to be delighted with who I was. And that only made him more attractive to me.
"You just continue to be the sweet, vital young woman that you are. Your time and young man will come.
"But honestly, I cannot recall such atrocious behavior from any of the young men here in the valley. And these Van Burens are supposed to have such fine manners. I mean, really! No family in the valley is going to let their daughter be escorted by such a person. He's going to have to go back east to find a girl who'll go out with him."
Audra laughed at the picture of Bryce Van Buren hiding behind enormous skirts as he begged any girl available to go out with him. Wouldn't it be lovely if no one said yes?
Notes: *In 1872 Marietta Stow was denied right to her husband's estate in probate. She wrote a book called Probate Confiscation and eventually ran for both governor of California and vice president of the United States.