Just a little something for my best friend in the entire world~! ENJOY!

"That son of a bitch..." Allison cursed with such ferocity. It was almost nine. An HOUR after a certain someone said he would be here for date night at her apartment. It's not like she asked for much. Just some special time. Alone. With a certain pineapple-hunk. That's all she wanted. A nice evening dinner with some chatting and maybe some... kissing, but that was besides the point. That moron promised to be here EIGHT O'CLOCK SHARP, and it was way past that hour!

Now what was she to do? She went out and got this new dress (a shimmering crimson that went down to her calves and shaped her figure to perfection. Not to mention complement her height!), slaved over, and around, the oven all day, and now what? He's not here. That stupid, stupid man. She should punch him in his stupid nose.

"I'll kill you, Renji Abarai..." Allison growled. She slammed her hands on the table as she stood up and went to the kitchen. Since he wasn't coming, she might as well throw everything away! Just as she was about to chuck the chicken into the trash there was a knock at the door. She smirked, putting the plate down. "Oh, you're in for it." she said as her heels clacked at the tile at a face pace. As she reached the door, she unlocked all six of them and whipped the door open, "You asshole! I outta-" Allison stopped as her jaw hung open at the sight.

"... hiya, sweetie..." Renji groaned, his one eye swollen and black. Allison was speechless. It looks like he got mugged! His clothes were torn, there was a thin trail of blood going down the corner of his mouth, his eye was black and blue and swelled shut, he had bruises and scrapes and his hair was in a frizz! It was NEVER in a frizz!

"R-Renji! Wha-!" Allison croaked. Renji smiled uneasily, though she knew he was trying to keep from crying out in pain.

"Surprise...?" he said. Now feeling guilty, Allison pulled Renji into her apartment and locked the door. As she pulled Renji forward to the couch, all she got from him were yelps of pain. "I'm sorry!" she muttered continuously. Renji finally flopped down on the couch and groaned loudly in pain. Allison didn't have a clue as to why he was so beat up, but at least she knew why he was late.

"Renji, what happened to you!" she panicked. Renji looked up at her.

"Well... it's a long story..." Renji winced slightly as he sat up, clutching his side. Allison sat next to him, but was afraid to touch him. He was obviously in a great deal of pain.

"Hold on a sec," Allison said and hopped up from the couch. She threw off her heels and ran to the bathroom to return a few minutes later with a first-aid kit. She took her place back on the sofa and open the box. "Okay, now tell me what happened." she demanded as she pulled out some antiseptic. Renji flinched at the sight of the bottle. He knows what the shit feels like.

"Er," Renji stuttered as he put his hand on the bottle in Allison's hand. "How about I tell you the story first, then you can treat me." Renji proposed. Allison blinked, but put the kit down.

"Fine. Now tell me." She demanded. With a painful sigh, Renji began.

"Remember those girls that were being bitches to you?" Renji asked. Allison's eyes narrowed.

Them...

They were more than bitches. They were every single terrible word and meaning Allison could muster.

"Yeah, what about them?" she said with spite filling her voice.

"Well, I saw them..." Renji said. Allison's curiosity sparked.

"You did? Where?" she asked.

"At the corner of that flower shop you liked. I was going to get you some when I heard them talking about you." Renji's words made Allison furious.

"...what did they say about me?"

"I didn't hear exactly, but I heard that skinny one say your name then laugh." Renji sat back against the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. "So, I confronted them." Allison's eyes went wide.

"You what?!" Allison yelled. "Why?!"

"Because I'm tired of them thinking they can do whatever they want and get away with it." Renji locked his eyes with hers. "Allison, they're jerks. They're inconsiderate, stupid, narrow-minded, bitches. They do nothing but make you miserable, I hate seeing you so upset and down about what they do and say, and they need to learn that they can't mess with you while I'm around. So that's exactly what I told them. I told them straight out that if they ever mess with you again, or drive you to tears, they'll regret seeing me a next time." Renji said boldly. Allison was speechless. He really did that for her? And to them? "I felt really proud about it too! That is until... their boyfriends showed up..." Renji looked away as he remembered what he went through.

"That's how you got like this?" Allison asked. Renji nodded.

"Yeah... they ambushed me... but..." Renji then smirked and leaned back on the sofa once more. "I did a hell of a lot more damage to them then they did to me. They had power in numbers. I had power in awesomeness. They were nothing." he snickered. He looked towards Allison and, though thought she would've been smiling at how strong (and dumb) he was, saw how depressed she seemed.

Allison frowned and looked away. Renji was confused.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You shouldn't have done that..." she whispered. Renji scrunched his face.

"Why? Allison, I told off those girls you loathe and got to beat up a bunch of guys!" Renji said ecstatic.

"That's just the point!" Allison said defensively. "You got hurt because of me. You shouldn't have even talked to them! Now look at you! You're all banged up and bruised and cut and your hair is a mess!" Allison picked up a lock of Renji's hair. It was frizzy and dirty. "On top of that, those bitches aren't going to let me live it down that my boyfriend fought my battles..." she looked to the floor.

"Oh, I don't think they'll be mentioning that." Renji sneered. Allison raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why's that?"

"Because, after I got done punching those jerk jocks to a pulp and the girls all screeching over their knocked-out bodies, I told them that you had some new people that you hang out with and if word gets out about them talking about you, me, Emily, Rangiku, and Rukia are coming after them... mostly Emily, but still! They have fair warning and we are not responsible for anything that may happen to them, or their beaten and broken boy-toys." Renji finished. Allison's jaw dropped. Since when did Emily get involved in this?!

"Wait, Emily's involved? How!"

Renji laughed, "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention she was walking past and sent her two German Shepherds after the one kid. He ran off squealing, but didn't get far! Haha! You should've seen those dogs turn him into beef jerky! Then she started screaming at the girls to the point where they covered their ears because she was just so damn loud! But, yeah..." Renji finished. He smiled at Allison. "It was totally worth being beaten up for. Also..." he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a dented and torn Calla Lilly. Allison gasped. "It got beaten up in the brawl, but Emily said she'd cover the rest and drop the whole bouquet off tomorrow." Renji's bruised cheeks turned pink. The flower was beaten and bruised, yes, but just like her brave, and stupid, pineapple, she loved it.

"Oh, Renji... So, you really didn't forget about our date night..." Allison whispered.

"Are you kidding?! Me? Forget our date night?! I was looking forward to this one!" Renji exclaimed. Allison rolled her eyes. He's forgotten more date nights than she's forgotten to lock her apartment door.

"Yeah... right..."

"So... am I off the hook?" Renji asked with a smile. Allison scoffed and smirked at him.

"Well... I suppose... but only this one time because of your 'Act of Valor' for me." She then kissed him on the lips. "But," Allison cut off, reaching over the arm of the couch. Renji eyed her curiously.

"But, what?"

"As punishment,"

"Punishment?!" he exclaimed, interrupting her. "But I thought you said I was off the hook!"

"You are," Allison said as she sat up again; a box was in her hands. "You're still the patient. And I am the doctor." she smirked devilishly. Renji's face turned white.

"B-but, you're still in your sexy dress!" he yelled, backing up and hitting the wall. "You don't really wanna get blood on it, do you?" Renji asked nervously. Allison paused with the bottle of peroxide in her hands and looked up, then back at Renji.

"Eh, I can always get another one. Now sit still!" she yelled. And Renji was left screaming like a bitch the rest of the night.

THE END!