Kitsune Chronicles: Itachi's NEW, AMAZING GEN-JUTSU! GASP!
Bad Stuff Happens!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any other Anime/Manga, Kankuro; the creepy Monkey-thingy with wings, or The Wizard of Oz.
Setting: Konoha, somewhere in the forest
Characters: Suteishii, Arianna, Keiti, and Itachi.
After discovering Britt's"ULTIMATE DEFENSE!!!" (aka "this girl is too short to hit!!!") Itachi went away to think up a new strategy. There he ran into Suteishii (not literally, but you get the idea)
Itachi: Hn. You are that one, aren't you?
Suteishii: That one...I'm afraid you're gonna have to be more descriptive than that.
Itachi: (rolls eyes)The one who knows theFEDEFEDFEDBAG-NO-JUTSU.
Suteishii: Nope. You're way off.
Itachi: ...Oh. (feels kind of foolish)Well, what can you do?
Suteishii: Hmm...I do a lot of things! I have many, many miscellaneous talents! For example, I
can transform into over 15 kinds of pie! (looks very proud of herself)
Itachi: (blink. blink.)
Suteishii: (rambling)I wouldn't recommend doing this around Choiji thought, now THAT could be dangerous!!!
Itachi: (Thinks: Killing her would almost be too evil--I mean, she's practically helpless! ...Meh, I'll just try out that Gen-jutsu I made up on her...)(looks up, ready to trap Suteishii, only to find that she's no where in sight) WTF?!
Suteishii: (appears behind Itachi) AND I can do this Gen-jutsu where you trap a Dancing Hot Dog in someone's mind!!! It's called GODTOH-MOTNAHP-NO-JUTSU!!!
Itachi: (officially FREAKED OUT) NEW-AMAZING-GEN-JUTSU-NO-JUTSU!!!!
Suteishii: (falls over)
Itachi: (practically crying)I-I've never been so afraid in my entire life...Except for that one time
Orochimaru was hitting on me...
Suteishii: Orochimary?!
Itachi: O.O
Suteishii: Did I mention that, because of my annoying "skiLLz", I can resist all Gen-jutsu for two minutes after I'm hit with them? GODTOH-MOTNAHP-NO-JUTSU!!!
Itachi: (faints)
Arianna(Melesa): (appears!) NEEDY-NO-JUTSU!!!! (GLOMPS Suteishii, using her tai-jutsu and nin-jutsu combo-technique...not the marshmallow one...)
Suteishii: (Itachi's Gen-jutsu takes effect and she passes out)
Arianna: ...Suteishii? (shakes Suteishii's shoulders) Suteishii? SUTEISHII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keiti: WOE! What happened here?! (kicks unconscious Itachi) Is he alive?
Arianna: HIM?!? WHAT ABOUT SUTEISHII?!
Keiti: Calm down. Suteishii is too annoying to die. Like Tom Hanks.
Arianna: (worried whimper)
Scene Change: Konoha, Hospital. TWO WEEKS LATER
Characters: Sutheishii, Arianna, Keiti, Burii, Kitsune, Tsunade, and a fair amount of other Naruto Characters.
Itachi was put in jail, and still has nightmares about hot-dogs. Suteishii is in a coma, and has been in the hospital for two weeks. The group goes to visit her... Wow this, sounds like a bad soap opera--On that note, is there any such thing as a GOOD soap opera? Seriously.
Arianna: (pathetic whimper)
Burii: (sniffle. sniffle.)I can't believe it's been two weeks.
Kitsune: (Thinks: Two QUIET weeks)
Tsunade: We're not quite sure what happened to her. Itachi is still going throughout terrible mental trauma, so we won'tbe getting any answers out of him for a while.
Keiti: What are the chances she'll wake up?
Sakura: (sigh.)Next to nothing.
Arianna: (punches Keiti) YOU SAID SHE WAS TOO ANNOYING TO DIE!!!
Keiti: Ow! She's not dead, she's just gonna shut up for once!!!
Gai: IT'S ALL RIGHT EVERYONE!!! (good guy pose) I HAVE A SOLUTION!!! I shall kiss her, and she'll wake up!
Lee: LIKE IN THE YOUTHFUL STORY OF SLEEPING BEAUTY!!!!!!
Kitsune: (Thinks: Sleeping BEAUTY? Are they BLIND?!)
Suteishii: (started twitching back when she hear the word "kiss" come out of Gai's mouth)
Lee: WOW! IT'S ALREADY STARTED WORKING, GAI-SENSEI!!!
Gai: YES! YOSH! Now I shall finish the job!!! (leans down, almost touching Suteishii)
Lee: (waits in anticipation)
Everyone Else: (too disturbed to do anything...some friends they are...)
Suteishii: (springs out of the hospital bed just before Gai can kiss her and grabs a kunai from
Keiti's pocket) IF YOU TOUCH ME, I SWEAR I'LL KILL MYSELF!!!!
Lee: AMAZING GAI-SENSEI!!!
Gai: YES! YOSH!(power walks out the door, and Lee follows)
Arianna: SUTEISHII! (GLOMP-OF-D00M!!!)
Suteishii: (near death)
Tsunade: Hm...I'm afraid we will have to ask you a few questions, Suteishii.
Suteishii: 'Kay.You guys wanna hear about my weird dream?
Tsunade: That would be very helpful.
Suteishii: Okay, but I don't think it has anything to do with the Gen-jutsu...that or he wasn't
concentrating when he was performing the jutsu.
ENTER DREAM SEQUENCE
Suteishii/Narrator: I was inside Kitsune and Naruto's appartment building, when all of the sudden there was this GIGANTIC TORNADO that blew the building away. It was actually kinda cool. Like a roller-coaster.
Dream Suteishii: WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ^-^ (Apartment building lands with a THUNK. Dream Suteishii falls down) Owie. (walks out of building, only to see two feet sticking out near the door) That's weird. Those weren't there before.
Dream Naruto: GASP! You've killed Itachi, The Wicked Witch of the West!
Dream Suteishii: Oh...Sorry.
Dream Naruto: DON'T APOLOGIZE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!
D.S.: SORRY!
D.N.: YOU DID IT AGAIN!
D.S.: WELL, SO-ORRY!!!
D.N.: I have the sudden urge to break into song and dance! (and he does just that)
D.S.: ???
Suteishii/Narrator: Then Ino, the Good Witch of the North, came down from the sky and let me have Itachi, TWWOTW's magical nail polish! Then she told me to follow the Sand-Brick Road until I reached the Emerald City, where I would find Gaara, the Magical Wizard Dude, so he could give me some red combat stilettos, so I could kick Neji and go home. So I set off on my journey...
Dream Suteishii: Wow, this is taking forever.
Kakashi, the Scary Scarecrow: Yo. I hear you're going to Emerald City, where you will find Gaara, the Magical Wizard Dude, so he can give you some red combat stilettos, so you can kick Neji and go home.I wanna go with you. Because I don't have a brain.
D.S.: Or two eyes.
K,TSS: Or a brain.
D.S.: OR TWO EYES!
K, TSS: CHIDORI!!!
D.S.: (dies)
K, TSS: Oops... (walks away.)
Suteishii/Narrator: Next thing I knew, I was walking down the Sand-Brick Road so I could reach the Emerald City, where I would find Gaara, the Magical Wizard Dude, so he could give me some red combat stilettos, so I could kick Neji and go home, when I came across...
Sakura, the Lion: I hear you're going to Emerald City, where you will find Gaara, the
Magical Wizard Dude, so he can give you some red combat stilettos, so you can kick Neji and go home. I wanna go with you. Because I don't have any courage.
D.S.: ...You're not gonna hurt me are you?
S,TL: No.
D.S.: Okay then.
Suteishii/Narrator: So Sakura, TL and I set of to go to Emerald City, where we would find Gaara, the Magical Wizard Dude, so he could give me some red combat stilettos, so I could kick Neji and go home. BUT, the two of us came across Sasuke, the FullMetalAlchemist--er--Guy Made Of Tin. He wanted to go with us, but then Sakura, TL annoyed him and he used Chidori on me. Sakura, TL chased after him. Next thing I knew, I was once again walking down the Sand-Brick Road so I could get to the Emerald City, where I would find Gaara, the Magical Wizard Dude, so he could--well, you know the story.
D.S.: Owch. This is getting old. The only thing I need now is Itachi, TWWOTW'S Sister Deidara to send Kankuro; the creepy monkey-thingy with wings to come after me.
Kankuro, TCM-TWW: I have been sent by TWWOTW'S Sister Deidra to avenge the death of his...her...WHATEVER!!! I have my own reasons! I cannot allow you to take the Magical Nail Polish, because I want it so I can paint my face with it--this face paint clogs my pores! And I also cannot allow you to have the red combat stilettos--because with them I can be the BEST DRAG QUEEN EVAH!!!!!!
D.S.: Whatever. This nail polish keeps me safe from Cannibal Cows that eat human brains, and like to paint themselves purple.
Kankuro,TCM-TWW: Orochimaru?
D.S.: Exactly.
Suteishii/Narrator: So I left Kankuro, TCM-TWW to his "face paint" and at last I reached the Emerald City! However, there was one more obstacle in my way...
Temari, The Guard: I can't let you in.
D.S.: Why not?
Temari, TG: ...I don't know... Huh. Okay, go in!
D.S.: YAY!
Gaara, TMWD: Temari! You weren't supposed to let anyone in!
Temari, TG: Well, you didn't tell me why!
G, TMWD: Because I'm not really a Magical Wizard Dude!
D.S.: Really?
G, TMWD: NO!
D.S.: Oh. So I guess you can't give me shoes so I can kick Neji and go home.
G, Not Really TMWD: Of course I can!
Suteishii: Then I kicked Neji three times and yelled, "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!" and I woke up.
The Sand Sibs: (come in through the door)
Suteishii: You guys missed me talking about my dream! You were there, and you were there, and you were there, and I had to follow the Sand-Brick Road so I could...
THE END! Wow. That was weird.