An oversimplified and humorous look about the truth behind Voldemort's psychopathic tendencies. Based on the night in Godric's Hollow when Voldemort tries to kill Harry and the graveyard scene in GOF when Voldemort is reborn.
The Return of Lord Moldyshorts
Potty Boy and Weasel King
Had a laugh and snort
When they found out You-Know-Who
Is actually named Lord Moldyshorts.
'This is the guy we fear?' they said,
'Him, of whom we are all scared?'
Turns out his murderous attitude
Is caused by poverty and moldy underwear.
He couldn't afford new ones
And someone found him out,
He Avada Kedavra-ed them good
Hoping to eliminate the clout.
But it turns out he's not alone
And in book five we see
That Snape himself had a similar problem
When Potty Boy falls into the Pensieve.
But somehow I think Snape's better now
Though Moldyshorts only knew despair
So he set off to kill Potty Boy –
Potty survived but Moldyshorts vanished into thin air.
Living a spectral existence among vermin
For years in the dark forests of Albania
Had the blissful advantage of not needing underwear
But it did little to ease his mania.
But when Potty Boy went to the graveyard
And saw the cauldron burn
He witnessed his greatest fear –
Lord Moldyshorts has returned.
So Potty returned to Hogwarts quite alarmed
To tell everyone of his plan –
'We're putting an and to this war,' he said, –
'We're buying him new underpants.'