Warning: Contains non-sexual spanking and stuff.
A/N: Don't kill me. I have a strange mind. This is an experiment. I've never written anything like this before, so please excuse me if you don't like it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Harry Potter. No characters, no events, only this fanfiction and that little voice in the back of your mind saying 'Do it. I dare you.' Even though you don't know what it's asking you to do.
Chapter 1:
"This is ridiculous!" Cried a very red faced Severus Snape. He couldn't believe what he was hearing! Did Albus Dumbledore really allow this!? "T-this-This! This isn't happening!"
"Oh, it is, my dear boy. These nice young gentlemen have taken you into their care. You should be grateful, Severus." Albus spoke with a serious expression that worried Snape.
"But they're the same age as me! I don't need their 'care' and THEY'RE ONLY DOING THIS TO HUMILIATE ME!" Severus was becoming frantic, pointing to the three boys behind him. James Potter stood with his arms crossed and a smirk evident on his face. Sirius Black was trying his best not to laugh. Remus Lupin frowned, clenching his jaw.
"Do not raise your voice, Severus! You have to show respect to your elders!" Lupin scolded, shaking his head. Severus just gawped at him for a moment before turning back to Dumbledore.
"This is stupid! I can't take them seriously. They're utter...DUNDERHEADS!"
"Don't make me wash out your mouth with soap, young man." Called James who was loving this. Albus decided to interrupt.
"I'm sorry Severus but all the paperworks been done-" 'By Lupin no doubt' thought Snape bitterly "-and they have all rights over you for a year. It's one simple year, my dear boy." Dumbledore tried persuading. Severus opened his mouth to protest but before he could get a word out, Sirius interjected.
"I'm sorry, Professor, but we really must go pack our dear Sevvy's things!" He winked towards Snape who looked ready to throw a tantrum. James and Remus both nodded.
"Oh! Right of course! You know where it is, right? Well then. Excuse me." And with that, Dumbledore walked over to stack of paper on his desk. He sighed dejectedly as he stared down at the heaps of paper.
Sirius, Remus and Potter began leaving Dumbledore's office with Snape pulling in tow. After getting halfway down the deserted corridor, Severus stopped walking altogether and asked:
"And why, you buffoons, must we go pack MY things?!"
"Because we're getting a dorm to ourselves. It makes it easier to watch over you." Moony smiled, walking forward towards the Slytherin.
"I'm not going." Severus stated before his upper was seized in a harsh grip and he was dragged along.
"Oh, quit whining! You're gonna end up with a time out if you don't stop making trouble!" Lupin threatened, much to the delight of the other two Gryffindors. Snape was dumbstruck, not knowing how to react. This was a joke right? Right? He suddenly frowned, sending glares at his rivals.
'Making trouble?' Severus thought, clicking his tongue, 'I'll show you trouble.' He walked along a few steps, convincing Remus he was willing to go with them before suddenly kicking him in the back of his legs, sending the brown haired boy to the floor and sprinting in the opposite direction.
It took a moment for the three Marauders to figure out what happened before looking furiously at Snape. James and Sirius immediately chased after him.
"Get back here right now, Young Man, or you'll be in big trouble!" Lupin called as he finally got up and caught up to James and Sirius. Severus gritted his teeth and laughed inwardly.
"Yeah," he snorted. "Because I'm THAT stupi-" he was cut off as he was tackled at his waist by two bodies. He collied with the floor, knocking the wind out of him. Damn his non-athletic body. Suddenly someone sat on his shoulders, forcing his face to the floor. Another sat on his legs and he felt someone kneeled down beside him. The Slytherin let out a long string of curses and threats. Nobody moved and stayed silent for a few minutes until Severus finally fell quite, noticing the tension.
'Great. That's right Snivellous. Anger your enemy's when you're down. Smart Snivelly, smart.' A sudden stinging swat to his bottom interrupted his thoughts. Snape stayed still, struggling to comprehend what was happening.
*SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT*
Several more swats caused him to struggle, screaming and yelling at them to stop being absurd, angered and humiliated. *SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT* By the 10th smack, he was howling *SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT* by the 15th swat he was struggling to cover his abused bottom. *SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT* By swat 21 Severus' face was bright red along with, he guessed, his bum. *SWATT! SWATT! SWATT! SWATT!* After 4 final swats, which were by far the hardest, he felt the Gryffindors get off him. Turning around and covering his poor sore behind, he glared at his company, growling. They all looked faintly amused but still angry. Potter tutted.
"We warned you, Severus Snape! Try anything like that again and you'll get double!" He informed, and Severus red face paled. 25 x 2...50!? 50 bloody swats!? He made haste to stand up, hating the fact that Potter and his little gang were towering over him. Sirius had a grin on his face though it was evidently hiding his anger. Lupin was glaring at the greasy haired boy and Potter looked down right furious. "If you harm one of us again, Snivellous, I swear to Merlin you won't be able to sit for months." James hissed. As if on cue, Severus' bottom throbbed at the thought. Looking to the side, murmuring something under his breath, Severus nodded his understanding. "Besides, we're still not done with you." Potter took out his wand, Severus reached for his only to notice Remus Lupin had possession of it ('How on earth...?'), and whispered a few words, pointing the wand at Snape's face. Severus, out of instinct, ducked down and shielded his face in an instant. Just as he thought he was fast enough, he tasted something rancid in his mouth. He began to spit out pink bubbles, more foaming in his mouth, before realising it was soap. Severus looked up with wide eyes at James who looked like he was counting. Gagging, Severus began trying to scrape the soap off his tongue with his teeth, only for even more to appear. The taste of the soap, along with his stinging bottom, made his eyes start to water, but he refused to cry in front of anyone. Especially the Golden Gryffindors! He wouldn't! He couldn't! But before he knew it, a few stray tears slipped down his face as he stared at the floor. Two minutes later he felt the soap vanish. Grateful that he didn't have to endure it anymore, Snape quickly rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, stood up once again and dusted himself off. "We don't approve swearing from our lil' Sevvy Snape."
"I hate you all." He whispered sourly, trudging along. He was forced to walk in front of them as they didn't trust him to walk behind. This was going to be one long, embarrassing, painful year.
xSxSxSx Page Break xSxSxSx
Severus just wanted to kill them. Ahh. What a peaceful thought. He was staring at their new dorm. It was in a completely separate part of the castle. The room was decorated in red and gold, with a few things silver. the curtains where a mix. It had pictures and by the looks of things, all if their belongings. I the far side of the big round room were three Gryffindor beds with the red hangings and sheets. The sheets each had a large golden lion on them. And in between two of the beds, was a Slytherin green toddler bed piled with teddies and had little snake patterns on the covers and pillows. A shaky pale finger pointed to the railings along the bed.
"What, in blue blazes, is that?!" Severus signalled to the whole bed, outraged.
"Do you like it? We decorated it ourselves! Thought it'd suit ya." Sirius grinned. "The teddies are to keep all those big bad monsters away and the railings are to stop you falling out of bed."
"I don't fall out of bed! And I'm more worried about you lot than any monsters! An-and incase your tiny little pathetic brains couldn't comprehend it, I am not a child! We are of the same age! If I am a child, that would make you mere infants!" Severus shot back.
"Who's in charge of you?" Lupin asked unphased.
"Well, apparently you are but I didn't get a say in it-"
"And you won't get a say in anything until you start acting like a big boy and stop throwing petty little tantrums."
"You're only doing this to humiliate me!" Severus shrieked.
"Actually, I'm doing this to impress Lily, to show her how wonderful, open minded and caring I can be." Potter admitted.
"I have to admit, I am in it for the humiliation." Black agreed. While Lupin shook his head.
"I'm doing this so you stay on the proper path! No dark arts! No death eaters! Nothing of the sort. I'm going to make sure of it." Lupin had a strange glint in his eye that worried Snape. Sirius ad James both nodded in agreement. 'I guess this is how they convinced Dumbledore...' Severus sighed.
"Okay, but that doesn't answer why I'll be sleeping in such a monstrosity."
"Because, Sevvy, you're our little boy now, and have to listen to us. Other wise we have the right to punish you."
'Oh great.' Severus groaned and kicked the floor slightly, sending glares to them.
"Well, I think it's bath time, don't you thing Snivelly?"
...What?