Tears
9thDoctor/Rose
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
Set after 'Fathers Day'
Warning: Contains spoilers
TARDIS speaks in italicized.
Tears were streaming down Rose's face as she hurriedly packed her bag. How could she have been so stupid? She nearly destroyed the world and for what, to see her dad die twice and lose the Doctor? After the Doctor left to the kitchen to cook dinner, she'd gone to her room and began packing.
"I can't stay," she told herself. "I have to go. I don't belong here."
The Doctor wasn't anywhere to be seen in the control room, thankfully, so she asked the TARDIS a favor.
"TARDIS?"
Yes, Rose? What's wrong? What do you need?
"I need you to take me home," she said. "I-I'm leaving."
Leaving? I beg your pardon, why on earth would you be leaving?
"I nearly destroyed the world, Dad died twice and the Doctor was killed too. I-I can't stay anymore. All I'm going to do is get him killed—for good. Take me home."
The TARDIS seemed a little hesitant.
I don't know if I can do that. You could regret it later.
"I don't care. Please," she begged, "Please, just take me home."
Are you sure that's what you want, Rose?
"Yes, I'm sure. I don't deserve to stay. I want to go home."
What about the Doctor? Do you really want to leave him? He needs you.
"No, he doesn't. He doesn't need a stupid ape like me hanging around."
He was just upset when he said that. He really does cares about you. Believe me.
"Maybe he did once, but not anymore—not after what I did."
He does care about you. Aren't you going to miss him?
"Of course I will; but I'm just going to get him killed if I hang around."
You think he'll be safer without you? Oh, Rose…
"Please, TARDIS, just take me home." She was fighting back tears.
Alright, I'll do it, but won't you even say good-bye to him?
"No, I'll leave him a note."
Okay then. But if he tries to go after you, I'm not stopping him. I won't do that.
"Fair enough, TARDIS. I'll worry about him. Just get me home and as quickly as possible."
After leaving the note and arriving in London, Rose opened the doors of the TARDIS and walked out into the very bright sunlight. "Bye, TARDIS. Thanks for doing this."
It was no trouble. Good-bye Rose. If you don't come back, you should know that I'll miss you very much. You've been great.
"I'll miss you too. Thanks for everything."
Without looking back, Rose closed the TARDIS doors and walked on. She was never going back. The Doctor would be much safer and better off without her getting him hurt all the time. He didn't need her—he never did.
"Rose? Hey, Rose, where are you? I made some of those hot chips you like!" the Doctor called. "They're on the table. Rose? Where are you?"
The Doctor frowned. Where was Rose? She wasn't in her room or any of the other places she liked to go in the TARDIS.
"TARDIS, old girl, where's Rose?"
She's, uh, well, oh, you're going to kill me for this.
"Oh, come off it, why would I kill you? Tell me where she is."
She's not here anymore. She, uh, left.
"What do you mean? Where'd she go?" He was worried now. Rose had been fine when he left her but a few minutes ago. What could make her upset enough to leave and where would she go?
She packed a bag, left you a note on the controls and asked me to drop her off at home. She went out and left about two minutes ago.
"What! Why didn't you stop her?" Rose was gone? How could she be gone?
She was so upset…I couldn't…I had to let her go.
"I'm not mad at you…why did she leave?"
That's for Rose to answer. I think you'd better read her note.
Confused, the Doctor picked up the note that was tapped to the controls of the TARDIS and read the following letter.
Dear Doctor,
By the time you've read this, I'll be home with Mum. I'm sorry, but I can't stay with you any longer. After watching my dad die twice, nearly destroying the world and seeing you die, I realized I'm just a burden to carry—a risk you can't afford. So, I'm leaving. I don't deserve to stay with you, not after today. I caused so much trouble today and all for what? I know you'll find someone so much better than me to travel with you and that you'll be fine without me. I'm just another stupid ape you picked up. I'm sorry for not telling you this in person, but I can't face you now. Forgive me for leaving like this, but I have to go. Good-bye, Doctor. I won't forget you.
Rose.
Shock, rage, fear, and heartbreak flooded him. "How can she leave?" he said. "She can't. I won't let her. How can she even think I'll find anyone else? She's not a stupid ape, I was just mad when I said that. I didn't mean it!"
I know you didn't mean it, I told her this but she didn't think it true. She didn't think you could care for her anymore after today.
"That's idiotic—how long's she been gone?"
Five minutes. Go after her. I said I wasn't going to stop you.
"Thanks." And with that, he sped off like a bullet. He had to find her, get her back safe and sound.
Rose was barely ten feet away from the TARDIS when she heard his voice yelling for her. "Rose! Rose, wait!"
Without looking back, she ran as quickly as she could, tears stinging her eyes as she ran. She couldn't face him after all she'd done! She was still running when she finally fell. She felt a pair of strong, warm arms picking her up from the fall. It was the Doctor. He seemed out of breath and determined.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm okay—not that matters."
"How can you say it doesn't matter? It does. If you're hurt—"
"I'm not—physically. Why did you come after me?" she interrupted.
"Because I don't want you to leave," he said. "Stay with me. Please."
She shook her head. "I have to go. I'm just going to keep getting you hurt or worse. I don't deserve you."
"How can you say that?" he said.
"Because it's true! I nearly destroyed everything and for what? Because I'm a reckless and selfish shop girl who doesn't deserve to be with you, Doctor! I don't belong with you, let me go."
"No," he said firmly.
"Don't you get it? The only reason we were even there was because of me. I asked you to take me there! I'm nobody worthwhile, I'm worthless! Doc—"
His blue eyes were like two narrow slits of blue fire. He was so furious. She'd never seen him that angry before.
"Don't you ever—EVER—say or think that about yourself again, Rose! It isn't true! You are someone worthwhile and you're not worthless, you're wonderful! You did what you did because you cared about your dad! If I didn't have years of experience with me, I would have gone back and stopped the Time War."
"And you haven't gone back! And it's because you aren't like me: stu—"
"Stop it!" he said, angrily. "Just stop it. I don't want anyone else to go with me on my travels. I want you. Yes, you made a mistake, but we all do. None of us are perfect—not even me."
"You tossed Adam out and all he did was get a computer in his head! What I did was worse!"
"Adam was being greedy and almost changed history. You did what did out of love, not greed, Rose. That's what makes the difference. Don't go, please."
Rose was crying as the rain poured onto them, soaking them. "I just can't lose you, Doctor." she sobbed. "If you died, I don't know what I'd do. Oh, blast it, I-I love you. That's why I'm leaving. I can't lose you."
She loved him. She actually loved him. "Oh, Rose…" he found himself gently caressing her face and putting his jacket on her shivering form. Realizing then and there, he needed to tell her how he felt about her. "Listen to me, if you leave, I have nothing to live for. I'm completely lost without you. Rose Tyler, I-I love you too." he said gently.
She looked at him with red eyes. "You mean it?"
"Yes," he said. "I've loved you since the day we met."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with a passion she had never known before. He returned it with more love than he'd felt in many, many years.
Even though they were in the freezing rain, they stood there for a long time, kissing and in love. When they let go, they walked back to the TARDIS, happier than either of them had been for a long time. They loved each other and that was enough to keep them together.
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