By Duckflesh.
This is a fanwork. I have no affiliation with Mobile Suit Gundam, nor with any of the companies that own it.
Mobile Suit Gundam:
Char's Revenge Thingy
Earth
A bunch of riot cops are seen chasing some dirty hippies
"You, stop!"
"Ok, ok! We surrender!"
"STOP RESISTING ARREST!"
BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT
3 hours later, one of the hippies, Quess, is dragged away to the airport, where she meets her father, Diplomat Guy
Diplomat Guy: We need a ticket on this ship, kick off that ugly poor woman.
Mirai: ...I'm standing RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!
Diplomat guy: FINE, WE'LL TAKE YOUR SON! Bitch.
in space
Char: Go, Neo Zeon! Push Fifth Luna into the Earth!
Geara Doga: ...What is fifth Luna, anyway?
Char: Uhm... look, it's an asteroid, ok! Just do it!
the shuttle takes off from earth, and is close to Fifth Luna
Quess: YAP YAP YAP YAP!
Captain: What! Go right?
Quess: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP!
Captain: Uhm... I'm just gonna avoid the asteroid.
Side 1
Char: So, that's why I'm going to kill each and every human ever.
applause
Earth Federation General: How can we loose!
Diplomat guy: Sell you Axis? I can't see the harm. Why yes, its thrusters still work. Yes, it's pointed towards Earth. Wait, why do those things matter? Hey, wait a minute...
Char runs out with deed to Axis
later, on a colony (it doesn't matter which one)
Amuro: What a nice jeep ride.
Hathaway: I'm a retard!
Quess: YAP YAP YAP YAP!
A swan flies by
Swan: Amuuuuuuuuuuuro, you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
Amuro: TIME TO DIE, YOU SWAN BITCH!
he runs the swan over with his jeep. The swan turns into Lalah Sun
Lalah: OWW! You ran me over! Son of a bitch!
Char appears on a pony with his hair in locks. He is in an 18th century school boy uniform and licking a giant lollypop
Char: Woops, this is bad timing.
Amuro: Kill... Char...
Amuro jumps at char, Char hits him with the lolly, Amuro grabs the lolly and throws it away. Quess grabs the lolly and hits Amuro with it
Quess: YAP YAP!
Char: Come with me!
Quess: YAP!
A Hizack in a gay pride color scheme approaches and picks up Char and Quess
Luna II
EFF General: So... our plan is to be one of only TWO ships at Luna, which is a nuke storage facility, while the Zeons bring their ENTIRE FLEET to "surrender"?
Diplomat Guy: Yes.
EFF General: Ok, makes sense to me.
Neo Zeon comes and shoots evvvvvvvvvveryone, take the nukes
Side 1
Amuro: Heyyyyyy... some of those ships at Luna II were dummies... that means most of their ships are actually heading for Axis!
Bright: DAMN! I should have known when I noticed the ships had no gun barrels, and were hot pink, and were being blown up with giant pumps, but I thought it was Cinco De Mayo!
Axis
Bright: NUKE NUKE NUKE NUKE NUKE
Neo Zeons: SHOOT DOWN SHOOT DOWN SHOOT DOWN
Bright: Shit. Ok, let's sneak into Axis and blow it up from the inside, it'll break into two parts. They'll both still hit Earth, but at least we get to feel like we're doing something. I'll go with, even though I'm pretty much the highest ranking person... anywhere, ever.
cumbersome construction mobile suits somehow sneak into Axis without being noticed, going four miles per hour, and commence to blow it into two parts. Now only one part is headed for Earth
Bright: Yay! ...I guess.
Mobile Suit battle
Quess: YAP YAP YAP YAP!
Hathaway: DUR DUR DUR DUR!
Quess: YAP!
Hathaway: DUR!
Chan: sigh
Chan shoots Quess, Quess explodes
Chan: Luckily, Hathaway is too mentally retarded to avenge her.
Hathaway: DUR!
he fires at Chan 80 times and misses every shot, but her MS explodes from a monkey wrench that earlier fell into the works.
Amuro and Char: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Amuro: ME WIN, as usual.
Char: Shit. You know, everyone thinks we're equals, but you pretty much always win.
Everyone: Let's try to push Axis away from earth with our Mobile suits!
A good 100 mobile suits start to push axis, some of them Neo Zeon
Geara Dogas: Well... we've been risking our lives for the past week trying to kill all Earthnoids... but what the fuck, let's undo it all.
Every Mobile Suit: AHHHHHHHHH, being blown away!
blown away
Char: Hmm, I would have thought my escape pod would have been destroyed, like, hours ago, but whatever.
Amuro: Shut up, we're about to die for no reason. Say something clever.
Char: I wanted Lalah Sun to be my mommy!
Amuro: sigh
On Earth
People: YAY! We won't die! Wait... we live in squalor...
fin
Note: Char and Amuro died... I guess? I don't know. Whatever.