01 Selfishness

by nilya

"You are selfish." "I am just a human." Kaneki loved his friend, more than anything, more than everything. He loved him more than himself, enough to die for him. But when the thought became the reality, can we also say that Kaneki died so that Hide can live ;; can we say that Kaneki is a selfish being?

01. Selfishness.

"You are selfish."

"I am just a human."

You changed me …
alone I was, alone in my little world
before the beautiful smile upon your lips
became my own to adore and to treasure,
never did my heart let go of the time we saw each other.

"You learned too much from reading all the time,
such a smooth talker."

"Come on … did you hate it?"

I never did enough …
when you would embrace me all of a sudden, all of a sudden
a gentle sigh would leave my lips and perhaps leaning to your touch,
I say I never did enough and I thought you understand the reason why
yet,
I waited for you to come with an innocent smile,
You held my hand in yours with a childish sweetness.
… I was enough for you.

"No, it is meaningful,
but couldn't you make my hair look
cooler?"

"Heh. Next time, I will do better."

We were enough for each other.
We did not ask for more, neither there was the need.
The Sun died every night to let The Moon breathe,
The Moon once said as he reigned 'Sleep well, my love,
until you rise one more time.
I will be waiting for you
in your dreams. '

Still young they were, his gift to his beloved companion was a hand drawn picture ;;
the beautiful colors of crystal blue, emerald green, ebony and yellow sprawled along the
once snow white paper. Two young boys were resting upon the emerald green gown of
this earth, small fingertips brushing each other in sweet, sweet nothings and in a beautiful;; untouched;; untainted innocence. The black, black locks entangled with the sun kissed softness when their cheeks almost, almost brushed each other, their boyish backs supporting each other ;; an hour of slumber they shared together beneath the crystal blue heavens.

To be together until we die.
To see your smile one more time,
Ah, how selfish of I.

"… you are selfish,
you are just … selfish."

"a…ah, am I n-now?"

' Such a cruel, cruel world' silent tears his dark eyes cried, fallen upon his snow white cheeks. watchingwatchingwatching ! helplesshelplesshelpless !
The maddened man holding a pocket knife towards the one he held so dear, so, so dear
to his heart, towards the home he called again and again for the world to hear his
innocent utterings and his heartwarming happiness in the song; upon the rose upon his lips again and again. White pearl teeth pierced through his rose petaled bottom lip when his frozen steps became a hastened and blurred madness, resembling a tempest born of the wrong doing of the mankind bestowing her wrath and her beautiful, oh so beautiful destruction and terror, terror upon the fearless fearful , fearless fearful , fearless fearful, fearless fearful – men and women of this world. ' I will not let you touch him, I will not let you defile him !
I – I –' Breathless he was, breathless when sweet, sweet pool of blood he began to taste upon his tongue, a bloodied tongue, resembling a pristine and beautiful river traveling amongst the snow white mountains and emerald green forest, oh did the river of crimson sea began to change to color of his pink petaled lips into a darker, darker redness, reaching his chin, tainting the long sleeved monochrome shirt he wore. ' what happened? Is this my blood? Why … ah … now I see, I … ' a bittersweet smile upon his lips when resembling the autumn leaves falling, falling, falling did his knees trembled, did his worn and bruised body fell into the arms of his friend. ' I threw myself between them and … ' the beautiful light inside his dark eyes began to fade away yet his cold, cold palms rose to rest upon his shoulders, watching his golden brown eyes, crystal tears he could see … he could see a smile he thought he had seen before ;;
the day we met, I could never forget,
your smile.

"Stupid, Kaneki.
Man, don't tell me you are gonna
die in my arms like this."
"I would never … Hide…"

His last touch, a last tear fallen from his lashes, his last time. When he rested his ( coldcoldcold I am so cold ! Hide… Hide… Hold me, Hide… ) forehead upon his friend's own … when he gazed into those hazel eyes once more … a smile, bittersweet, upon his lips, one last time before he closed his eyes, his colorless lips parting to say one last thing, just one last thing when he thought he heard his friend whispered the same wordings.

I knew,
You complete me.

"I will be waiting for you."

I chose death so you can live,
oh, now I see why you called my selfish …
perhaps I indeed am selfish.
' I will be will be waiting for you', The Moon said to The Sun,
'in your dreams, it is too early for you to hold my hand,
please do live. I will be with you, in your dreams.'