Cassie's sure that if she can just get some time away from witches and demons and the Circle (and from Adam, but she tends to ignore thoughts about him now because it makes her need him in a way she can't deal with), she can get over this. Nick is dead and she's certain that everything will be different now, but she's positive she just needs some time to herself. She doesn't know where she's going when she carefully sneaks out of her grandmother's house - well, she supposes it's her house as well now - but she does feel better for being outside.
She wanders around for a long, long time. She doesn't think about anything, just fleeting thoughts about the starts or the picturesque streets. Cassie enjoys the chill of the air and the goosebumps that pop up on her arms even as some part of her thinks longingly of the jacket hung up in her room. Her feet take control and she just walks aimlessly around Chance Harbour and hopes that she doesn't end up where she thinks she's going now.
Even as the thought enters her mind, the Boathouse comes into view. The lights are dim and there's no sound coming from inside other than the quiet clinking of glass. She tells herself it's probably Ethan clearing up before locking up, but she feels the tell-tale tug in her stomach that she always gets whenever she's within a few feet of Adam. She sighs to herself and firmly decides to go home even as she walks up to the door. She adamantly demands that she turn around and leave even as she pushes the door open and she feels the oddest sensation of being a passenger in her own body.
He doesn't hear her come in and for a brief moment she just watches him. He's tense as he wipes down a table and she wonders if he's thinking of Nick or Diana or demons (or Cassie, but she ignores this with practised ease because thinking about that leads to that unbearable need again) or if maybe he's trying to forget about it like she is.
"What are you doing here, Cassie?" he asks suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts. He hasn't turned to face her, resolutely staring at the table he must of wiped down about five times now. She thinks maybe he feels the pull in his stomach too, but asking him leads to a conversation she can't deal with right now.
"I... I don't know," she admits softly as she walks further into the room. She feels her walls come down abruptly when he turns to face her and she tries to look away from his eyes but dammit every time he looks at her like that she can't help but stare.
"Are you okay?" The words are gentle, probably intended as comforting but all she can think about is how tired he looks.
"I'll be all right," she replies, not wanting to lie but not wanting to say what she's thinking.
Because of God's sake, nothing about this is okay. She's not even an adult yet and she should be worrying about what she's going to wear tomorrow and if her grandmother minds her sneaking out but all that she can see is Nick, lying on the ground and so very still that there's no doubt in her mind that he's gone and won't ever be coming back. She won't pretend that she and Nick were close but she always thought they'd get the chance to be and now he's dead before he was really alive and Melissa didn't even get to say goodbye and Cassie just wants to curl up and cry.
But she keeps this to herself, carefully hiding her emotions in the corner of her mind that's already packed with her mother and Heather.
"Are you okay?" she mimics Adam's question, talking a step towards him in concern.
"I'll be all right," he says back, and there's a little smile on his face that's more of a grimace but she appreciates the effort and gives a little smile back.
There's a silence and Cassie doesn't find it comfortable at all because everything's charged and she feels like she's waiting for something to happen but neither of them move, and there's a long moment where they just stare at each other.
"I should go," she says eventually, but she makes no move to leave.
"I should close up," he whispers in return, but he just holds the cloth in his hand and stares at her.
The charged silence returns only now she can literally feel the air around her humming and a part of her wants to leap forward and kiss him and hug him and tell him everything is going to be okay even though she thinks it never will be. She wonders if it's always going to be like this - electric feelings and pounding needs and so much right even though this is all wrong - and a part of her hopes so because she thrives on these stolen moments, even if she tells herself its nothing and nothing will happen because they can only be friends and she promised Diana-
And then the moment is broken, because Diana is in her head and Cassie's stumbling backwards and looking away and the charged feeling is gone and all that is left is awkwardness and that fucking tug in her stomach.
"Cassie, I... I am sorry," Adam says, and it's like he's trying to reassure her and himself at the same time.
"Me too," she replies softly because she is, she's sorry for so many things. She's sorry about this connection between them and how much it hurts and she's sorry about Diana and Nick and she's sorry that she came here and she's sorry that she released the demon from Heather and she's just sorry.
So she turns and leaves without another word because if she says anything else she's afraid she'll just give in and kiss him. And even though there's this huge part of her that wants to, that's been wanting to since they met, she can't because he's with Diana and she's her friend and Cassie can't do that to her. But if she decides to be a little selfish and indulge herself in wondering what his lips feel like and what he tastes like - well, she wouldn't because she can't think about that because it makes her need him in the way that's burning down her spine and has her heart drumming away in her chest and has her eyes glazed over and makes her world spin so she has to stop halfway home to sit down and get her bearings again.
The Secret Circle is not mine so please don't sue!
I hope you all liked it and please review m'dears! (:
Chloe
xoxo